Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

Gambling is all about getting something for nothing and spending thousands of dollars trying to do it.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

I’m sorry if I seem weird, it’s because I am.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

Cows are very calm, considering the whole floor is food to them.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

Me gasping and flipping off the vultures as they circle above the running track.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

I’ve noticed that when young people now talk about “old people”, they mean me.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

If life could stop teaching me lessons, that would be great.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Just came back from my walk, and I was right about everything.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

I’ve added lunges to my workout routine. It’s a big step forward.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

Someone taking your parking space at your own home is a different type of anger.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Online shopping gives me a reason to live for another 3-5 business days.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

231 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,500

Funny Quotes Topics

17,568

Funny Quotes Images

15,500

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,353

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WeChat:

Foreplay is great, I particularly like the part where I peel them, chop them into pieces, then roast them in the oven until they’re all crispy and delicious.

Seen just now on Twitch:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re saying, “What kind of trees are those?”

Breaking via Telegram:

If you’re soft, don’t come to my house, cause my kids will roast you.

Going viral on Pinterest:

On today’s family vacation agenda: my parents read the internet out loud.

Seen just now on TikTok:

You’re not lazy, you’re just buffering in HD.

Shared recently on Messenger:

When someone asks why you don’t have kids just say “dingoes”.

Making waves on WeChat:

I hate when people call my phone! I don’t use it for that.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

They say it is hard to look at lips that you are not allowed to kiss. You do not know how hard it is to look at a face that you are not allowed to hit.

Just shared via X:

For me, math class is like watching a foreign movie without subtitles.

Just landed via TikTok:

“Why does my back always hurt?”, I say, while never sitting upright in a chair.

People who take care of chickens are literally chicken tenders.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Cluck cluck! I'm suddenly craving some chicken nuggets 🍗🐔

animal, animal care, care, caretaker, chicken, farm, humor, joke, literally, people, pun, take, wordplay

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

God, please — if you don’t want someone to love me, at least make me a millionaire.

0

2 months ago

comedy, God, humor, least, longing, love, me, millionaire, please, prayer, sarcasm, someone, want, wealth, wish
Starting your most incoherent sentence with “put simply” to deflect blame onto the reader.

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2 months ago

blame, communication, deflect, deflect blame, humor, incoherent, incoherent sentence, most, put, put simply, reader, sarcasm, sentence, simply
If you like someone, set them free. If they comeback, it means nobody liked them. Set them free again.

0

2 months ago

advice, again, comeback, free, freedom, friendship, humor, love, means, nobody, relationship, return, set, someone
If you fall asleep long enough, the steering wheel gives you a pillow.

0

2 months ago

asleep, driving, exhaustion, fall, humor, nap, pillow, road, road trip, sleep, steering, steering wheel, trip, wheel
The potholes in my city will change your radio station and unlock the doors.

0

2 months ago

change, city, doors, driving, humor, pothole, radio, station, transportation
Realizing this yogurt I’m eating is more active and cultured than I am.

0

2 months ago

active, am, comparison, cultured, eating, food, humor, i, realization, self-reflection, yogurt

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

12 shares on Twitch this month:

There’s no need to put a little umbrella in my drink. It’s already wet.

80 shares on Reddit this month:

Goodnight to the men who know one woman is enough. The rest can die.

82 shares on WeChat this month:

The fastest mammal on earth is the smartass on the web.

21 shares on Snapchat this month:

The person who invented bowling: “Oh, and we’ll make them wear different shoes for no reason. Clown shoes.”

12 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I get tired from just thinking of everything I have to do.

33 shares on Reddit this month:

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?

16 shares on Messenger this month:

Perks of dating me: you will be the hot one.

33 shares on Instagram this month:

The difference between a hippo and a zippo is that one is really heavy and the other is a little lighter. Thank you and good night.

99 shares on Twitch this month:

Mothers will invent chores just to be mad you’re not doing them too.

82 shares on Snapchat this month:

I may join the cicadas this summer and just scream for six weeks straight.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

It’s generally a good idea to start punching and throwing elbows immediately upon waking up because there may be enemies nearby.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

Authenticity is whispered, but bullshit is broadcasted.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

Heelys don’t have brakes because my swag rides forever.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

I am such a fun person and so easy to get along with as long as the layout I have secretly imagined for the entire day goes exactly as I planned it without variation or interruption.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

This entire year I was method acting. None of it was real. I was working on a bit.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

I’ll make you feel safe in that you’ll know you can outrun me if we are being chased by a murderer.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

Why can’t opportunity just come back later?

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

I only write when I am falling in love, or falling apart.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

What is rizz if not swag persevering?!

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

With age comes wisdom. And digestive trouble.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

There’s no need to put a little umbrella in my drink. It’s already wet.

Making waves on Pinterest:

If it hurts you more than it hurts them, you are holding the taser wrong.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I’m afraid that AI will quickly realize that the biggest problem on Earth is humans – and then solve the problem.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Life is giving me no lemons. It’s throwing watermelons.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Remember when movies felt real, and foreheads could wrinkle.

Spotted on Instagram:

You should be able to wash your hair and it stays washed. What do you mean I have to do it again?

Seen just now on Threads:

Why can’t my career pursue me instead?

Seen just now on Twitch:

Sometimes I just want someone to hug me and say “I know it’s hard, but you’ll be okay. Here’s a coffee and a million dollars.”

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I have been putting a lot of thought into it, and I just don’t think being an adult is going to work for me.

Shared recently on Discord:

True luxury is sleeping until you wake up by yourself.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

People who take care of chickens are literally chicken tenders.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

God, please — if you don’t want someone to love me, at least make me a millionaire.

Starting your most incoherent sentence with “put simply” to deflect blame onto the reader.

If you like someone, set them free. If they comeback, it means nobody liked them. Set them free again.

If you fall asleep long enough, the steering wheel gives you a pillow.

The potholes in my city will change your radio station and unlock the doors.

Realizing this yogurt I’m eating is more active and cultured than I am.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨