Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

When a man gets married he has a moral obligation to scare his wife when he sneezes.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

Mentally saying “Wed-Nes-Day” when writing the word Wednesday.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

One big difference between men and women is that if a woman says “Smell this,” it usually smells nice.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

Every time I leave the house, I’m reminded why sweatpants exist.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

I’m here by unpopular demand.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Spoiler alert: Monday doesn’t care about your feelings.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

Screen time so high, I should send another risky message and then ignore my cell phone for three days.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

I’m sorry I didn’t text you back. I’m really busy watching the The Lord of The Rings in the form of mini clips on TikTok.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

I pretend I don’t care about stuff, but that’s only because I have no idea what’s going on around me at any given time.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

I always mean what I say, I don’t always mean to say it out loud, but I always mean it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 20, 2026

3,365

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Jingle all the way? In this economy?

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I be like, “Awwwww cows,” and then go and eat two double cheeseburgers, lol.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Drugs do not ruin your career. Drug tests do.

Just shared via WeChat:

Remember the good old days when you didn’t have to wonder if the person messaging you was a bot or not?

Seen just now on Instagram:

If you’re offended by bacon, the United States of America isn’t for you.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Whispering to paramedic before I pass out: save me, but not enough that I have to go to work tomorrow.

Just shared via Facebook:

Unfortunately, you have to almost worship the ground I walk on for me to believe you’re into me.

Freshly posted on X:

I think being a hopeless romantic is giving me brain damage.

Spotted on Facebook:

My favorite things about Texas are definitely toast and chainsaw massacres.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

If you’re cremated after you die, you can be put into an hourglass and continue to participate in family game night.

Petition to allow customer service employees to fight at least one customer per day.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Breaking News: Retail Olympics now offering a daily brawl event! 🥊😂 Unleash your inner frustrations and let the customer showdowns begin! Who will take home the gold medal in the 'Can I Speak to Your Manager' category? Stay tuned for the ultimate showdown of patience vs sass! 💥🌟 #CustomerServiceRumble"

customer, customer service, daily, daily struggle, day, employees, fight, humor, petition, service, struggle, workplace

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

59 shares on Reddit this month:

That one friend who has a dangerously loose grasp on food safety.

10 shares on Reddit this month:

And to my grandchildren, I leave my unread PDFs.

16 shares on X this month:

I bet this email finds you silently screaming on the inside.

41 shares on Reddit this month:

Overheard a baby crying in the grocery store the other day so I went over and joined him. I get it, little dude, life is hard.

61 shares on Snapchat this month:

Finding a person to make eye contact with during stupid meetings is essential to survival in the workplace.

85 shares on Snapchat this month:

Once I find a dragon, y’all are toast.

71 shares on Instagram this month:

One of the most amazing things in nature is that the basketball hoop is the perfect size to fit a basketball through.

65 shares on TikTok this month:

I’ve worn oversized T-shirts so much that I suffocate if I wear one that actually fits.

74 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Just the owls and I out here enjoying the breeze amongst the trees.

69 shares on Instagram this month:

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Ah yes, my abandonment issues due to all the abandonment.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to downtown where the crosswalk signals are merely suggestions and you hope the puddles are water.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I admire how time manages to quickly heal wounds but takes forever to remove awkward tan lines.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone you know is fighting battles you don’t know about, except for my neighbor who just can not shut up about his battles.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Remember: no matter what anyone else thinks of you, it’s how you delude yourself that matters.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

That awkward moment when you try something on in a shop but you don’t know if you can get it off again.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I bet once Bigfoot tries cheeseburgers, he’s gonna wanna hangout with us all the time.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I miss being the age where the most devastating thing in the world was when my sandwiches got cut into squares instead of triangles.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

The worst part of a fender bender is having to get out of your car and meet a new person.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

The sexual tension between me and vanishing without context is insane.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,715

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

Don’t flirt with me. I’ll show up at your house and start eating all your snacks.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

Starting the second half of your sandwich is like “hell yeah, baby, let’s run it back!”

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

I don’t flirt, I just say weird things and hope something sticks.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

Someone was saying that social media makes you miss out on your real life, but have you seen real life?

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

Printers and computers treat each other like they broke up the night before, and you’re their mutual friend.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

Pets can’t talk but everyone loves them. This is not a coincidence.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

Everybody thinks “Free Hugs” signs are cute, unless you’re a boa constrictor.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

Who are these people that buy unsalted butter on purpose?

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

When someone is in a Christmas eve panic, I always find that “well, maybe you should have thought of that sooner” is a helpful phrase.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

I’d imagine the sound of clowns having sex would just be a cacophony of bicycle horns.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Reddit:

To-do list: bite the hand that feeds me, put all my eggs in one basket, kill two birds with one stone, let the cat out of the bag, think inside the box, burn bridges, walk on thin ice, play with fire.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Instead of being constantly irritated by other people’s flaws, I’ve decided to become more self-absorbed.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I think my type is a nice person.

Spotted on Reddit:

I didn’t forget about you; my algorithm did.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Now that Christmas and New Year are out of the way, we can focus on the things that really matter: My posts.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Shoutout to myself for ruining my own life.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Ruin a perfectly nice trip out with your child by bringing your child.

Spotted on Threads:

I’m often mistaken for an adult because of my age.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Some people are like “I’m a people pleaser,” and not a single person is pleased with them.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

My birthday wish is for everyone to ignore my birthday.

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