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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it like five or six times. You know, just to be sure.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

The 80s were wild, man. You had bands naming themselves after predatory cats with hearing problems.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

I hate it when what’s wrong asks me what’s wrong.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

I’m very loyal to whatever brand is on sale.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

When a lady compliments your facial hair, have the goddamn decency to compliment hers.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

Sometimes I don’t have anything intelligent to say and sometimes I don’t let that stop me.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

Love is like a bird. Sometimes flying around me but then moving on.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

I love cutting off Teslas. Like you may not let me merge over but your car sure as hell will.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

Aliens probably have group chats called Don’t Stop on Earth.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

You’d think a philharmonic orchestra would have at least one harmonica, but nope.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

820 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,982

Funny Quotes Topics

13,925

Funny Quotes Images

10,982

24 minutes ago

3,423

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Messenger:

A more accurate description would be ‘The Darker Web’.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

If you respond, “A reason for living,” when a store employee asks if they can help you find something, they will leave you alone.

Reported on Telegram:

Nutrition labels should include an “What if I ate the whole thing” section.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

The most annoying child in our house is that of my mother-in-law.

Breaking via Threads:

I’m tired and drank a lot of coffee, so now I’m tired but faster.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

People that tell us what sex gods they are, what do you want us to do with that information?

Going viral on Instagram:

I be skipping everyone’s stories but watch mine like 20 times.

Spotted on Reddit:

Whoever came up with “penny for your thoughts,” “don’t nickel and dime me,” and “another day another dollar” sure knew how to coin a phrase.

Making waves on Slack:

How I flirt? I look at an attractive person several times and hope that they are bolder than me.

Seen just now on YouTube:

If we get invaded by space aliens, I am immediately defecting to the alien side. Sorry.

Petition to allow customer service employees to fight at least one customer per day.

6 months ago

Petition to allow customer service employees to fight at least one customer per day.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Breaking News: Retail Olympics now offering a daily brawl event! 🥊😂 Unleash your inner frustrations and let the customer showdowns begin! Who will take home the gold medal in the 'Can I Speak to Your Manager' category? Stay tuned for the ultimate showdown of patience vs sass! 💥🌟 #CustomerServiceRumble"

customer, customer service, daily, daily struggle, day, employees, fight, humor, petition, service, struggle, workplace

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

820 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,982

Funny Quotes Topics

13,925

Funny Quotes Images

10,982

24 minutes ago

3,427

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Anyone got any good sins for someone just getting into sinning?

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

The fact that I have a lot of wine in the house proves that I don’t drink much. Otherwise the wine would be gone.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

I have some cake and now I’m eating it too. Not seeing the problem here.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

How many sit-ups do I have to do before I get a six-pack? Please say 5.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

My ideal workday would be from 9:00 AM to 9:07 AM

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

Stop hating yourself for everything. Be specific.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

I don’t need a midlife crisis. My whole life is a crisis.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

Coffee just tastes better when you are the only one awake in the morning.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

If you wish me a happy Thanksgiving, don’t be surprised if I whip out a ziplock bag and ask you to bring me home some leftovers.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

A spoonful of peanut butter from the jar will fix me.

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on Discord:

If you would like to get an idea of what an exorcism is like, try putting clothes on a toddler.

Spotted on Snapchat:

If anyone wants to contact me, from now on I can only be reached via my bank account.

Going viral on Instagram:

More dangerous than a lion that roars is a woman gone silent.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

If you want to complain about my driving at least calm down and get off my hood first.

Trending via Threads:

“Oh, I’d love to but I can’t.” Translation: I don’t want to so I won’t.

Seen just now on X:

If you ever get locked out of your house, talk calmly to the lock. We all know that communication is the key.

Just landed via Discord:

It amazes me how much exercise and extra fries sound alike.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Unfortunately, if you want to end your single life, you have to do something. So that’s not for me.

Making waves on YouTube:

I don’t think inside the box and I don’t think outside the box. I don’t even know where the box is.

Just landed via Instagram:

I don’t want to do exercise, but I want to have done exercise.

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