Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

The gap in my resume? Yeah, it’s called playing outside.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

I prefer not to think before speaking. I like being as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

Show me another rule so I can break that one too.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

It’s a little ironic when you consider that the Internet was invented to save time.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

It ain’t easy being America’s sweetheart during these dark times, but someone gotta do it!

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

My home security system is just a copy of my paycheck taped to my front door.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

I wish my hair had as much volume as my mouth.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

There’s nothing like sitting by an open fire and watching the evidence burn.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale’s mating call.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Why is incognito mode always associated with freaky shit? I use it to search up very obvious questions, so there’s no record of me looking dumb.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,716

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

The websites that let me check out as a guest are the real heroes.

Trending via YouTube:

Nothing is more awkward than trying to tell an online joke to offline people.

Just shared via YouTube:

Is it still murder if they said, “Some other time,” but I thought they said smother time?

Breaking via Messenger:

Not gonna lie, I just assume everyone is AI now.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Smoking weed and watching music videos as the hangout is a lost art.

Freshly posted on X:

Paw Patrol is just annoying. Exactly how long do dogs live again on average?

Shared recently on Telegram:

Mixed signals mean they don’t like you like that. It’s that simple.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

“What’s something you’d tell your younger self?” You can have ice cream for dinner, nobody will stop you.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Looking for someone who loves me as much as some people love standing up the second a plane lands.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Turns out I am the autistic one at “movie night,” who thought you’re supposed to actually watch the movie.

Pizza rolls are comfort food because they look like little pillows.

3 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Dreaming of a nap on a pizza roll mattress, but I might eat my bed! 😴🍕

comfort, comfort food, comparison, food, food comparison, humor, little, pillow, pillows, pizza, pizza roll, roll, rolls, snack

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You ever want someone so bad it pisses you off a little.

0

1 month ago

attraction, bad, desire, emotion, ever, frustration, humor, little, relationship, someone, want
Just accidentally closed a tab I’ve had been meaning to read for the past 2 years.

0

1 month ago

2, accidentally, closed, frustration, humor, internet, just, meaning, past, procrastination, read, tab, time
Where do they get the seeds to plant seedless watermelons?

0

2 months ago

fruit, gardening, humor, irony, logic, plant, question, seeds, watermelon
The art of letting whoever think whatever.

0

3 weeks ago

art, humor, letting, letting go, mindset, opinion, think, whatever
I don’t like people driving fast—that’s the reason why I overtake them.

0

1 month ago

driving, humor, i, overtaking, people, reason, road, sarcasm, speed, traffic, why
The more I parent the more convinced I am that the ears on toddlers are purely for decoration.

0

2 months ago

am, child, decoration, ears, humor, i, parent, parenting, parenting struggles, struggles, toddler

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

42 shares on X this month:

Picking up a hitchhiker is not worth the risk of being forced to make small talk with a stranger.

84 shares on Discord this month:

The most realistic scene in Star Wars was when Darth Vader lost his cool during a staff meeting and used the force to choke a coworker.

55 shares on Facebook this month:

In every imagination I have pictured myself in, I’m never poor.

68 shares on Reddit this month:

The best part about filling out doctor appointment forms online is when you get there and they say “hello, please fill out these forms!”

87 shares on Snapchat this month:

My life coach told me I didn’t make the team.

13 shares on Messenger this month:

Dear algorithm, please show this post only to people who have innate psionic abilities and would use their abilities for the betterment of humanity if given a chance.

45 shares on Pinterest this month:

You know when you tap a video to see how long it’s got left? I wish you could do that to people while they’re talking.

55 shares on Snapchat this month:

People often mistake me for an adult because of my age.

26 shares on YouTube this month:

Kinda messed up that the government knows my birthday but never sends me a gift or anything.

22 shares on Snapchat this month:

My superpower? I can look you dead in the face while you’re talking and not hear a damn word you said.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

Love those deep burps that instantly make me feel like I lost 10 lbs.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

I realized Americans were dramatics the day I found out 200 lb is just 90 kg.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

All the leaves are brown. And this guy is Greg.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

You know you’re getting old when you and the grocery store have the same playlist.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

Probably always gonna be the weirdo that believes in magic.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

Whoever is dating my ex, all I can say is: cheat first!

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

You better pray to whatever god you serve that this email finds you before I do.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

Oh, to live in an apartment alone and do whatever I want.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

Fitbits are just Tamagotchis, except the stupid animal you’re trying to keep alive is you.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

At my age I don’t sleep, I nap between pee breaks.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Messenger:

Might make a living will because I don’t want my family deciding whether to pull the plug. My dad has a long history of being against wasting electricity.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

Pizza rolls are comfort food because they look like little pillows.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

You ever want someone so bad it pisses you off a little.

Just accidentally closed a tab I’ve had been meaning to read for the past 2 years.

Where do they get the seeds to plant seedless watermelons?

The art of letting whoever think whatever.

I don’t like people driving fast—that’s the reason why I overtake them.

The more I parent the more convinced I am that the ears on toddlers are purely for decoration.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨