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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

Tupperware is filing for bankruptcy. They would have kept a lid on the news but they couldn’t find one.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Tried Adderall to help my productivity but now I’m just intensely aware of all the things I should be doing.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking that I’d have to do.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

The ultimate student paradox: skipping class to avoid stress, only to stress about skipping class!

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Problems are like balls. Everyone thinks they have bigger ones than you.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

There are people who leave comments on porn videos.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

Well, I’ve been depressed and poor, but sure, we’ll call it intermittent fasting.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

Gender and sexuality aside, I believe everyone just wants someone who wears short shorts and makes a lot of noise in bed.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

I’m having a bad day. Please send super-cute pics of your credit cards to cheer me up.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

Doctors diagnosed me as your future wife.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,395

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

The great thing about having pet insurance is that while our dachshund is at the vets, they’ve given us a courtesy poodle to hang out with.

Making waves on X:

Thank you for the opportunity but I don’t think being human is a good fit for me. I’m going to go back to school to become an octopus.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Why is sugar SO addictive, and broccoli is just like, “I’ll be here when you need me”

Going viral on WeChat:

They need to invent a dishwasher with a window on it. I have to know what goes on in there.

Trending via YouTube:

When I take a shower I’m: 5% cleaning myself, 10% singing, 85% making life changing decisions.

Spotted on YouTube:

With my staggering 91% survival rate, you’d be a fool to hire another dog sitter.

Just shared via Facebook:

Yesterday, thieves broke into my home. They searched everywhere and found nothing. They beat me up, telling me to work harder.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Forget Botox. If you really want to look younger, get braces.

Making waves on Twitch:

Actually, no one sees you at your worst like your coworkers do.

Spreading quickly via X:

Men love to show you a YouTube video. It is a sign of deep respect in their culture.

Please try to schedule meetings around my need for attention.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When your calendar looks more like a game of peekaboo than meetings 🗓️👶✨

around, attention, communication, humor, life, meeting, meetings, need, please, schedule, try, work, work life

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I really think my coworkers and I deserve an Oscar for acting like everything at work is fine.

0

2 months ago

acting, coworkers, deserve, everything, fake, fine, humor, i, office, Oscar, pretending, sarcasm, stress, think, work, workplace
Sleeping in now means waking up without the alarm clock, but still at the same time.

0

2 months ago

alarm, alarm clock, clock, humor, irony, management, means, morning, morning routine, routine, same, sleep, sleeping, still, time, time management, waking, waking up
Being single for Valentine’s Day is way better than being in the wrong relationship.

0

2 months ago

being, better, day, freedom, humor, independence, relationship, self-love, single, valentine’s, Valentine’s Day, wrong, wrong relationship
This post is invisible, and only those going to Hell can see it.

0

5 months ago

going, hell, humor, invisible, joke, media, only, post, secret, social, social media, spooky
Cicadas are all like, “Y’all mind if I scream?”

0

2 months ago

cicada, humor, i, insects, mind, nature, scream, sound, summer
The weather’s got more mood swings than a reality show reunion.

0

2 months ago

comedy, humor, joke, mood, mood swing, reality, reality show, reunion, show, swing, weather, weather joke

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

38 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My husband loves it when he orders fries, I say I don’t want any, and then I swoop in on his like a seagull at the beach.

53 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Why is Saturday over in 7 minutes and Sunday in 4 minutes, but Monday is 84 months long?

25 shares on Instagram this month:

Super excited to not contribute anything worthwhile today.

65 shares on TikTok this month:

Never underestimate the healing power of not watching the news.

54 shares on Twitch this month:

One day you’re young and fun, and the next you’re saying, “I wonder how old this tree is.”

18 shares on WeChat this month:

I think more people would actually heal from their trauma if they got revenge.

26 shares on Discord this month:

Shit posting is cheaper than therapy.

91 shares on Snapchat this month:

Never share a secret with a clock. Because time will tell.

21 shares on Slack this month:

I admire the audacity of beavers, they just move to a new area and say “screw the neighbors, imma put a lake here”.

46 shares on WhatsApp this month:

When I was young, I was afraid of the dark. Now, these bills got me afraid of the light.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

You could be having a nice day and then somebody your own age says they bought a house.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

Some days you’re the quick brown fox and other days you’re the lazy dog.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

Yogurts should come in a five-pack, not a four-pack, or make the workweek four days.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

I can’t sleep good when I know the food is feeling cold in the fridge.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

Elect a clown, expect a circus.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

One minute you’re young and fun and the next, you need a tow out of a beanbag chair.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

Coworkers are funny. You could see a guy every day for 5 years then he quits and you never see or even think about him again.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

Boy, did The Shining nail what it’s like being an only child.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

May the algorithms be with you.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

You’re an adult. You can do what you want. Wait…You have kids? Never mind.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

Shout out to everyone who cooks at 180°C for 20 minutes, no matter what the instructions say.

Seen just now on Slack:

Me: I love you more than a flower loves the sun. Him: I love you more than a teenager loves his phone.

Spotted on Messenger:

I can’t sleep good when I know the food is feeling cold in the fridge.

Just landed via Reddit:

Replying to all emails with “ya think?”.

Making waves on Slack:

Kids should get the last name of whichever parent has more followers.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Job market so bad, I started following my dreams.

Making waves on Twitch:

God’s plan for me is super weird so far.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

A treadmill minute is four times as long as a sleep minute.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I need like twelve incomes for this lifestyle I have in my head.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Two sheep walk into a baaaaa.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Please try to schedule meetings around my need for attention.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I really think my coworkers and I deserve an Oscar for acting like everything at work is fine.

Sleeping in now means waking up without the alarm clock, but still at the same time.

Being single for Valentine’s Day is way better than being in the wrong relationship.

This post is invisible, and only those going to Hell can see it.

Cicadas are all like, “Y’all mind if I scream?”

The weather’s got more mood swings than a reality show reunion.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨