Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

I have decided to purchase the grocery store because it is now cheaper than the groceries inside it.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Insane that you have to defend yourself at the end of the Ph. D.! Why are you attacking me? I’m so tired.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

Having to choose between an old guy or a convicted felon is a perfect depiction of what dating apps are Iike.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

Not gonna lie, the age I’m turning this year sounds a little serious, and I don’t like it.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

It’s amazing, when it’s your birthday you really feel the love from family, friends, lovers, former dentists, yoga studios and various smootheries.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

No matter how sad you are, there is some form of potato that can make it better.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

Not now, kitten. Mommy’s destroying and betraying herself for nothing.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

Saw an article on “100 things to do before you die.” Was surprised Call 911 didn’t make the list.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Young people are too young nowadays. Back in the good old days, young people were my age.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,263

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Facebook:

I always need to pee, but it’s just because my heart is so big it pushes on my bladder.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Hear me out: agenda reveal parties for people we don’t trust.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Long-distance couples be like, “I can’t wait,” and then they wait.

Spotted on Reddit:

When a man is a good cook, that cancels out like three red flags.

Trending via Discord:

Telling my guitar to “stay tuned”.

Making waves on Messenger:

“Are you seeing someone?” Like a hallucination, therapist, or a guy?

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Even a broken shrimp fries rice twice a day.

Making waves on Messenger:

Okay, this is getting ridiculous. It can’t just be the one guy. It’s gotta be a group of people pooping my son’s diaper.

Just shared via Twitch:

Santa doesn’t check the naughty list anymore, he just checks social media.

Broadcasted on Slack:

You can either have a nice evening or you can help your child with their math homework. You can’t have both.

Please try to schedule meetings around my need for attention.

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Please try to schedule meetings around my need for attention.
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Commentary:
When your calendar looks more like a game of peekaboo than meetings 🗓️👶✨

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

38 shares on Messenger this month:

I didn’t get the part of the brain that lets you relax, just the one that overthinks.

27 shares on Discord this month:

The difference between coffee and your opinion is that I asked for coffee.

61 shares on Discord this month:

The season is back when women are 80% scarf.

62 shares on Reddit this month:

Today’s toddlers can switch on laptops and use apps. When I was little, I ate sand.

19 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I hate it when my body decides to get sick. I gave you a vegetable last week, how dare you.

98 shares on TikTok this month:

I have a lot to offer! Most of it’s bad, but it’s still a lot.

92 shares on Snapchat this month:

If they cancel the Simpsons, we will no longer be able to see into the future.

28 shares on Twitch this month:

How am I supposed to make life choices when I still use my fingers to count and sing the whole alphabet to see what letter comes next.

18 shares on Threads this month:

Mercury is no longer in retrograde, so never trust a cow because the sun can’t swim.

14 shares on X this month:

I can’t believe I forgot to go to the gym today. That’s like 7 years in a row now.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m going to become more attractive or more delusional; I haven’t decided yet.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

My apologies to your congregation. I totally misunderstood when you asked for missionary volunteers.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Diet Coke is just a fridge cigarette.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Situationships are just you pretending you’re okay with getting used until they find someone they actually like.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re lost in the woods, start talking loudly about politics. Someone will come to argue with you.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Being quiet in a room full of loud people is my favorite sport.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

If you think I’m rude, you should hear the voices in my head.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

You’re an adult. You can do what you want. Wait…You have kids? Never mind.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Girl, whatever you’re going through right now, as long as you’re not pregnant, you’re gonna be fine.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Once you find humor in any situation, you have nothing to fear.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,609

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

Jobs be asking me for 3 references, and I think I might start doing the same. Like, let me talk to 3 happy employees, please.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

Think I’ll get high enough to find out if there’s a God. Stay tuned.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

I have more photos of food on my phone than I do of my children.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

I like my money where I can see it: hanging in my closet.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

If you love me, please don’t ask me to go camping with you.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

The billionaires have decided that the people with nothing have too much.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

Giant-sized bag of candy: I’m resealable. Me: That won’t be necessary.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

When a lady compliments your facial hair, have the goddamn decency to compliment hers.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

The 69 obsession turning into 67 is a recession indicator.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

There’s something so spiritual about new life. When I look my baby nephew in the eyes, I can’t stop thinking about how amazing it will be to connect with him on LinkedIn.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

If A-B-C-D didn’t take their sweet time in the alphabet song, LMNOP wouldn’t have to sprint every time.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Unfortunately, I have the paper towel habit of a much wealthier woman.

Live now on Instagram:

The difference between me and Superman is that he has super vision, and I need supervision.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Could you even imagine the crime rate if no one drank coffee or ate bacon.

Live now on YouTube:

I don’t get mad anymore. I’m just like “again?” Ok then.

Just shared via X:

Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you, but not in the one ahead.

Trending via TikTok:

Not really into dating right now, but very into flirting, and that’s where things get complicated.

Just landed via Telegram:

When I was in elementary school, we learned about a shape called a rhombus, and that was the last time I ever heard about that shape ever again.

Making waves on X:

I stopped writing “Feel free to reach out if you need anything else” at the end of my emails because please don’t do that.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Kissing while both wearing baseball caps is so hard. How do baseball players do it?

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