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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

Realizing this yogurt I’m eating is more active and cultured than I am.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

I just lost all my tabs. Only now do I understand the tragedy that was the burning of the Library of Alexandria.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

I kind of can’t wait for my generation to be bumping 90’s hip hop, rap, and heavy metal at the old folks’ homes.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

I might look like I have my life together, but that’s only because the mess is out of the camera frame.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

I want to sleep but my brain won’t stop talking to itself.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

My wife’s resolution to yell at the kids less has just taken a very bad turn.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

If we date and break up, you gotta unlearn all my lingo and cool shit that I taught you. You gotta go back to being lame.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

If you turn your phone off for 1 day, you’ll realize it’s still 2007 outside.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

Dating me is super easy. I text you at 8; you reply at 8:00:01.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

Once you find a pair of pants that fit you perfectly, it’s over for all your other pants.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

358 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,627

Funny Quotes Topics

17,675

Funny Quotes Images

15,627

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,313

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

If life could stop teaching me lessons, that would be great.

Shared recently on Slack:

Therapy is basically me saying, “I did a thing,” and my therapist saying, “Yay, good job!”

Spotted on Snapchat:

Adding “scroll for two hours” to my To-Do list, so I won’t do it.

Breaking via Instagram:

I just want to find someone that gets annoyed by the same things as I do.

Spotted on X:

I appreciate the people that interact with me and I really appreciate the ones that don’t.

Seen just now on Slack:

If a billionaire is telling you to vote for someone, it’s probably in your best interest to vote for the other person.

Going viral on Discord:

Call me constipated the way I don’t give a shit.

Making waves on X:

I briefly stepped away from social media to get an idea of what else is going on in the world. For instance, I didn’t realize I was still married.

Seen just now on Facebook:

If a man says “I don’t deserve you,” believe him. Because he is about to show you why.

Shared recently on Slack:

No, no, I’m listening, it just takes me some time to process so much stupidity all at once.

Police cars should play ice cream truck music when they’re pulling you over for something minor.

Police cars should play ice cream truck music when they’re pulling you over for something minor.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
How amusing would it be to have a light-hearted twist during a potentially tense situation? 🚓🍦 Imagine the sound of the ice cream truck jingle luring you in, only to be greeted by the flashing lights of a police car.🎵😅 It might just turn a stressful moment into a quirky memory!

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

87 shares on Discord this month:

“OMG I love your personality,” thanks, it’s a disorder.

10 shares on Telegram this month:

Spring is what we call the time in between complaining about the cold and complaining about the heat.

61 shares on X this month:

The art of letting whoever think whatever.

82 shares on Telegram this month:

Self-discipline is tough because I’m the boss of me, and that guy runs a real loose ship.

65 shares on X this month:

I swear some songs have background noises of your mum shouting your name from downstairs.

12 shares on Twitch this month:

A colon can completely change the meaning of a sentence. For example: Jill ate her friend’s sandwich VS Jill ate her friend’s colon.

64 shares on WhatsApp this month:

AI is that friend who is always there for you but gives terrible advice.

48 shares on Snapchat this month:

My favorite part of football is when they feed the players water like they’re hamsters.

21 shares on Pinterest this month:

So apparently it’s still a DUI even if you’re the birthday boy.

21 shares on Threads this month:

Sure, I could keep my thoughts to myself but I can’t see “Likes” in my journal.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

If Wonka had a spaghetti factory, I’d get sucked into a marinara river tube so fast.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

“Apple Music has better sound quality!” Okay, but my entire life is on Spotify, my playlists are my children.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I have noticed something quite worrying: after I buy more things I have less money.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Yeah, sex is cool, but have you ever taken an afternoon nap on the couch?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

The incontinent optimist sees the bladder as half empty.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s a beautiful day to ignore your existing problems and create new ones.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Got fired on my first day working at the drugstore for calling my new coworkers ‘my pharmily’.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Airbnb should have an option if you just want to use someone’s bathroom for a few minutes.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

There is too much money in the world for me to be broke.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Oh, so ChatGPT is gonna tell me about me? Seems gossipy.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

358 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,627

Funny Quotes Topics

17,675

Funny Quotes Images

15,627

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,642

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

Babe, would it kill you to meow back?

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

Welcome to your 40s: your chin looks lonely, here’s another one.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Why do they make the wine glass so large if you’re not supposed to fill it to the top?

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

Remember it’s Christmas. You need to check your elf before you wreck your shelf.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

I get it, laundry, no one is doing me either.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

Once again, I was not nominated for an Oscar this morning for acting my way through life.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

The rule should be: if you can smell the cookout, you’re invited to the cookout.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

At the grocery store, but forgot my wife’s list so I guess I’ll just follow this other guy around and get what he gets.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

It’s jarring for me when there are British people in the Midwest. How did you get this far inland?

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

I don’t think humans were put on this earth to know what Salesforce is. It’s unnatural.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Messenger:

Thaw me like one of your french fries!

Going viral on Reddit:

I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life, or they are living it to the fullest.

Just shared via Slack:

The female ability to be able to guess exactly which girl it is out of his 740 following.

Just shared via Facebook:

My wife is napping quietly and the villain of this story is about to be this sneeze.

Going viral on Threads:

America was more fun when organized crime was done by Italians in Chicago.

Shared recently on Threads:

If I was the inventor of healing, I would have made it linear, I can tell you that much.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Can you imagine being a 7th grade girl and being able to see your crush’s bedroom during Zoom math class.

Freshly posted on Discord:

The internet is making people stupid. Not me, though.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

My friends wife threatened to leave him over his Star Wars collectibles and I was like “divorce is strong in this one”.

Just shared via Telegram:

If I buy the circus, the monkey will be the manager.

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