Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

Christmas can be really hard for single people. Everyone else is having a brilliant time and we have to hide the fact that every day is like that for us.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Speed dating, but it’s just me changing tables at a restaurant every few minutes trying a bite of everyone’s food.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

Pouring rain, football on TV, empty house; the stuff dreams are made of.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

Pretty sure the best place to hide a dead body is in a new tab you opened to read later.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

I always say “morning” instead of “good morning”, because if it was a good morning, I’d still be asleep.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

Bag of flesh that acts weird when another bag of flesh doesn’t send symbols on glowing screen.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

Just say ‘lol’ and move on.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

At this point of my celibacy, I can see the same colors as mantis shrimp. What do you know about blorange and gurple?

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

If you want your kid to play with their toy just give it to your other kid. Follow me for more parenting hacks.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

The local casino is hosting a speed dating event. Just what every woman needs, a new boyfriend with a gambling problem.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,888

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Instagram:

The one thing I think most parents need to realize is, there’s absolutely no secrets that your child doesn’t share about you in the classroom.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

“You smell so good!” Okay, so kiss me.

Spotted on Pinterest:

If you only watched reality TV dating shows, you would probably estimate the number of people who work in medical device sales in the United States to be approximately 80,000,000.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I am not someone you have to entertain if you invite me, because I will have canceled.

Spotted on Threads:

The reason I stay up late is because I don’t want my free time to end, and tomorrow to start.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Extrovert self made too many plans and now introvert self is pissed.

Seen just now on Messenger:

My stomach just made the exact sound of the “your” in “your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice messaging system.”

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Please don’t use fear to manipulate me. Much more effective to use cake.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I talk to myself in the same condescending tone, so you’re not special.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Crazy that caffeine has no short or long-term negative side effects. Just a super drug from God.

Police cars should play ice cream truck music when they’re pulling you over for something minor.

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Police cars should play ice cream truck music when they’re pulling you over for something minor.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
How amusing would it be to have a light-hearted twist during a potentially tense situation? 🚓🍦 Imagine the sound of the ice cream truck jingle luring you in, only to be greeted by the flashing lights of a police car.🎵😅 It might just turn a stressful moment into a quirky memory!

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

43 shares on Slack this month:

Being friends with introverts is hard sometimes. Did they die? Are they just recharging? Are they Batman now? The suspense is killing me.

60 shares on Reddit this month:

Why do coffee beans smell so good, and coffee breath is like bleh?

79 shares on Threads this month:

I feel like a credit card, cause I’m constantly being used irresponsibly.

88 shares on Reddit this month:

Gonna mess with my husband by texting “send nudes” when he’s in a work meeting.

77 shares on Discord this month:

To the knife wielding psycho who walked in on me in the shower; I’m sorry you had to see that.

73 shares on Twitch this month:

I learned that when dogs lean against you it’s their version of hugging and now every time my dog leans against me my eyes start leaking.

41 shares on YouTube this month:

I have officially reached the age where I am bothered by lights being on, doors left open, loud noises, and people.

30 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If Wonka had a spaghetti factory, I’d get sucked into a marinara river tube so fast.

11 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m giving up eating chocolate for a month. Sorry, bad punctuation. I’m giving up. Eating chocolate for a month.

50 shares on Facebook this month:

That one person who has zero concept of what an indoor voice is.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to your 40s. Your ability to be sneaky will now be hindered by your bones cracking when you walk.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s truly insane when bosses assume their employees are working for any reason other than a paycheck.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

No, I mean, it’s great toast. I just didn’t expect it to be French.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m the kind of crazy you weren’t warned about because no one knew this level existed.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

3 friends is enough. 1 for the movie theater, 1 for drinks and apps, 1 for texting concerning mental health information.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Baby for sale. Refuses to wear shoes.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I generally don’t know what the hell I’m doing, but I’m really good at it.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

So why is it that when Star Trek ‘boldly go where no one has gone before’ they always find someone there?

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Life hack: If you never leave the house you don’t have to worry about running into someone you don’t want to talk to.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Retiring my wallet condom after two years of active duty. 87 tours with 0 combat deployments.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,901

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

Dear LOL, thanks for being there when I have nothing else to say.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

Every time I wanna quit, I remember horses don’t stop.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

Hi there, I very much look forward to letting you down.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

Gordon Ramsay is only funny because he’s not talking to me like that.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

Humanity doesn’t deserve a new year, look at the mess they made of the last one.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Please no requests for a threesome. If I want to disappoint two people at the same time, I’ll visit my parents.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

Me summer vacation planning: I’m going to Europe. Bank account: You’re going camping.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

Having to confirm your past purchases over the phone with your bank’s fraud department is a truly harrowing moment of self-examination for chronic little treat buyers.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

I’m sorry I roasted you, I was trying to flirt.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

I miss the days when our biggest argument was whether West Coast or East Coast rap was better.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Love is not pushing them down the stairs when you have the opportunity.

Making waves on YouTube:

Please pray for my husband, he’s struggling to find me.

Spotted on Slack:

What do you mean a baguette isn’t a female bag?

Making waves on Discord:

I could win awards for having a bad memory. In fact, I probably did. How would I know.

Breaking via Facebook:

I deserve a treat when I have a bad week, but I also deserve a treat when I have a good week. I simply always deserve treats.

Going viral on TikTok:

I’m now at the age where sitting cross-legged on the floor is punishable by about three days of full-body paralysis.

Trending via Instagram:

Part of fatherhood is becoming an expert in some obscure topic and teaching it to your children who stopped listening 30 minutes ago.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I feel like you’re allowed to start your day at 4 p.m. if you are pure of heart.

Spreading quickly via X:

Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

Trending via Facebook:

The main function of the little toe on your foot is to make sure that all the objects and furniture in the house are in the correct place.

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