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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

I deserve a treat when I have a bad week, but I also deserve a treat when I have a good week. I simply always deserve treats.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

Prime Video will find the movie you were looking for and then say, “Oops, you gotta pay for it.”

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

Facebook should just go back to being Hot or Not dot com.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

Trust my gut? The thing that can’t even handle milk.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

I was dismayed to hear the story of Rumpelstiltskin. I had no idea he was like that outside of work.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

They say “When you snooze, you lose”… I say “When you take a nappy, you are happy.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

494 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,087

Funny Quotes Topics

17,241

Funny Quotes Images

15,087

Updated

Dec 19, 2025

Users Online

3,720

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Pinterest:

A fun thing to do at work is call in sick and stay home.

Just landed via WeChat:

A fabric tomato filled with needles. Don’t see that much anymore.

Seen just now on Threads:

I made a smoothie that needs a spoon.

Shared recently on TikTok:

My morning routine includes 20 minutes of staring at the ceiling thinking about how tired I am and debating if I really need to live today.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Love is like a bird. Sometimes flying around me but then moving on.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

I’m the kind of introvert who dodges phone calls but sends paragraphs in texts.

Spotted on Twitch:

Tonight, my poor liver has to pay again for what went wrong during the week.

Putting a hot frying pan into a sink running with cold water makes me feel like a blacksmith.

5 months ago

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Commentary:
Swinging that spatula like it's a legendary hammer in a kitchen forge! 🔨🔥😂

blacksmith, cold, cold water, cooking, feel, frying, frying pan, hot, hot pan, humor, kitchen, me, metaphor, pan, putting, running, sink, water

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Women call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor.

2 months ago

call, dating, humor, i, me, money, much, poor, self-esteem, ugly, wealth, women
Where do you see yourself five beers from now? What’s your five-beer plan?

1 month ago

activity, alcohol, beer, beers, casual, drinking, five, fun, fun activity, humor, joke, plan, social, where, yourself
Saving up ketchup packets in the fridge so I can one day open my own restaurant.

2 months ago

creativity, day, dream, food, fridge, funny idea, humor, i, idea, ketchup, open, own, packets, restaurant, saving
An Amish party in the desert called churning man.

1 month ago

Amish, churning, culture, desert, festival, fun, humor, irony, man, party
Salt and pepper shakers add an air of mystique to any bathroom.

1 month ago

air, bathroom, decor, humor, kitchen, mystique, pepper, quirky, salt, shakers
This is about the time of year where my enthusiasm about shoveling snow turns into “it will probably melt on it’s own”.

1 month ago

enthusiasm, humor, melt, own, procrastination, seasonal, shoveling, snow, time, weather, where, winter, year

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

My favorite game is guessing if my headache is due to dehydration, migraine, malnutrition, stress, lack of sleep, poor posture, or a brain tumor.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Just saw the fattest bird. This guy must get up early as hell.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

Someone tongue kissed me recently in a way I can only describe as 5th base.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

Nephew showed me his toys on FaceTime, and I had no toys to show him back. Humiliating.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

Life is just resetting your password until you die.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

If my memory gets any worse, I’ll be able to plan my own surprise party.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

Reading is a gateway drug to being less stupid.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

“You smell so good!” Okay, so kiss me.

Making waves on TikTok:

When you’re using Grok, the A in Al just stands for Adolf.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Chores give kids a sense of responsibility while teaching relevant life skills such as procrastination.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Any jar is a swear jar when the lid won’t open.

Spotted on Instagram:

Due to unforeskin circumcistances …

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Is there really anything worse than being forced to watch a video on someone else’s phone and having to pretend to laugh for 2 minutes?

Going viral on LinkedIn:

If idiots could fly, TikTok would be an airport.

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Activity Log ✨

Putting a hot frying pan into a sink running with cold water makes me feel like a blacksmith.

Women call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor.

Saving up ketchup packets in the fridge so I can one day open my own restaurant.

An Amish party in the desert called churning man.

Salt and pepper shakers add an air of mystique to any bathroom.

This is about the time of year where my enthusiasm about shoveling snow turns into “it will probably melt on it’s own”.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Unfortunately, I am literally obsessed with the woman I am when I get stuff done, so I’m just going to keep doing that.

Do crabs underwater think that fishes fly?

Wrapping gifts on the floor after 50: 1% holiday spirit, 99% figuring out how to stand up without calling for help.

I hope you catch the bouquet at my funeral.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I just bought a universal remote. This changes everything.

Me and my best friend saying, “Hey, who are we to judge,” after spending 6 hours gossiping.

The minute I start feeling like a mother to a man, the relationship is over.

Men will ask you zero questions about yourself, and then say they never met anybody like you.

Cookbook, but each recipe includes a photo of all the dishes that need to be cleaned after making it.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

When someone says “I expected more of you”, I’m always like “well who’s fault is that?”

Keeping my mouth shut is usually not enough to avoid an argument with my husband. I also have to deactivate the subtitle function on my face.

The fact that I procrastinate and still get the job done is the reason I still procrastinate.

You cannot hurt me. You are not a hip-height table corner.

To me, essential oils are what drips out of tacos.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Just because you are unique, doesn’t mean you are useful.

Showering at night is so sexy and clean and self-care vibes. Showering in the morning is so productivity core, cog in the machine core.

Googled my symptoms and it turns out it’s just the politics.

Not just anyone can be cremated. You have to urn it.

My favorite part of football is when they feed the players water like they’re hamsters.

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Putting a hot frying pan into a sink running with cold water makes me feel like a blacksmith.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Women call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor.

Where do you see yourself five beers from now? What’s your five-beer plan?

Saving up ketchup packets in the fridge so I can one day open my own restaurant.

An Amish party in the desert called churning man.

Salt and pepper shakers add an air of mystique to any bathroom.

This is about the time of year where my enthusiasm about shoveling snow turns into “it will probably melt on it’s own”.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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