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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Thanks to rice cakes, I still can’t imagine nothingness, but now I know what it tastes like.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

Hello, I’m looking for the people who said “I’ll always be there for you”. Has anyone seen them?

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

I’m not athletic, but I’m good at jumping to conclusions.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

I’m not here to offend anyone; I’m here to offend everyone.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

My favorite things about Twitter are that everything you read is true, everyone is nice, and all intentions are pure of heart.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

Born to be quiet and mysterious, forced to yap whenever I get the chance.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

Buying a new phone isn’t even satisfying anymore. It’s literally just your old phone with a haircut.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 40’s. You now have to second guess your age as you can’t believe you’re that old.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

Play the Grindr notification noise at Christmas dinner to see which conservative relatives panickedly check their phone ringer.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

“Clean” my shower? Then what? Give my car a ride into town?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,519

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via TikTok:

My IQ used to be higher than my weight, but now I’m fat and dumb.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

When I get bored on a Zoom meeting, I put a cursor under the speaker’s nose to make it look like they have a booger.

Making waves on WeChat:

Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain, and most do.

Just shared via Telegram:

You’re the human embodiment of an “ugh.”

Breaking via Snapchat:

Some people feel like unpaid actors in my sitcom called “What Fresh Chaos Is This?”

Just landed via Telegram:

Lie about the gap in your resume. Tell them you had to help some Hobbits take a ring to Mordor or something.

Going bananas on Reddit:

I get all the cardio I need by running out of patience.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Every night, millions of teeth go unbrushed.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Life is too short. Tell his mom what he did to you.

Rare earth, this rare earth, that. There’s nothing more rare on this earth than affordable housing in a walkable neighborhood.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Affordable housing in a walkable neighborhood is like finding a unicorn in a coffee shop—rare but magical! 🦄🏡☕

affordability, affordable, affordable housing, Earth, estate, housing, housing affordability, housing market, living, market, neighborhood, nothing, rare, rare earth, real, real estate, urban, urban living, walkable, walkable neighborhood

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Come on, karma, do your job.

0

2 months ago

come on, expectation, humor, irony, job, karma
It’s not a competition, but if it was I would win.

0

2 months ago

competition, confidence, humor, i, playful, sarcasm, win
Dear God, thank you for the job I have. But if you have a lottery win planned for me, I’m ready! Thank you.

0

2 months ago

God, gratitude, humor, i, job, lottery, me, money, planned, prayer, ready, thank, thank you, win
A good hack to make my house look clean and tidy in the evening is to turn all the lights off.

0

2 months ago

clean, evening, good, hack, house, lights, tidy, turn
Engagement photo shoots are so funny as a concept. Like girl, we believed you.

0

2 months ago

belief, concept, couple, engagement, girl, humor, photo, photo shoot, shoot
The only downside to dating hot men is that when it ends, he’s still hot.

0

2 months ago

attractiveness, breakup, dating, downside, fun, hot, hot men, humor, joke, men, only, relationship, still

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

77 shares on Facebook this month:

Tonight I will make history, by turning off incognito mode.

13 shares on TikTok this month:

My bathroom mirror after a long party weekend: “Girl, those vitamins can’t help you now.”

82 shares on X this month:

I don’t assume anything except the fetal position.

93 shares on Slack this month:

Can’t believe penguins have to publish all those books with their tiny hands.

18 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You can’t spell fries without friends. I guess what I’m saying is that fries are friends. Delicious friends.

46 shares on YouTube this month:

Lord, they down here giving us bills every month after you already paid the price.

29 shares on Instagram this month:

I totally get why Leonardo DiCaprio is trying to save the environment for future generations. They could be his girlfriend.

17 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m growing a mullet so no one will want to hangout with me.

95 shares on YouTube this month:

I have this epiphany every night that I need to turn it up a notch.

56 shares on Pinterest this month:

When phones were tied with wires, people were free. Now that phones are wireless, people are tied.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

This meeting could have been a cave painting.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

We live in a time where intelligent people are being silenced, so that stupid people won’t be offended.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

The art of today’s art is to persuade people that it’s art.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

Imagine how scary sharks would be if they wore necklaces made out of our teeth.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

Viewing someone’s LinkedIn after they’ve viewed yours to assert dominance.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

David Attenborough narrating my life: “He’s still sleeping.”

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

I’m getting to the age where it’s rude to pull out a bottle of ibuprofen if I don’t have enough for everyone.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

Your odds are greater of being killed by a coconut rather than a shark and this is exactly why I don’t swim in coconut-infested waters.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

If only guys would moan in bed like they do in the gym…

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

If social media has taught me anything, it’s that we are all crazy in a different way.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Discord:

I’m so toxic, I can fight for a relationship I don’t even want.

Trending via Instagram:

“You’re so chill.” Thanks, I gave up.

Going viral on Discord:

I refuse to listen to anyone give commentary on the state of society unless it’s in a TikTok video filmed inside their car.

Going bananas on Reddit:

The husband, child, and dog are all snoring. WTF is this?

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Men are very good at being women lately.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I’m now at the age where happy hour is a nap.

Going viral on Reddit:

If anyone is still on Facebook, please check on my parents.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Do you ever restart the dryer because you don’t feel like folding the clothes yet?

Live now on Instagram:

This family has a lot of nerve wearing all these clothes after I just did laundry.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Forgetting how to clean the dishes and shooting them with a gun.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Rare earth, this rare earth, that. There’s nothing more rare on this earth than affordable housing in a walkable neighborhood.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Come on, karma, do your job.

It’s not a competition, but if it was I would win.

Dear God, thank you for the job I have. But if you have a lottery win planned for me, I’m ready! Thank you.

A good hack to make my house look clean and tidy in the evening is to turn all the lights off.

Engagement photo shoots are so funny as a concept. Like girl, we believed you.

The only downside to dating hot men is that when it ends, he’s still hot.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨