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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Does my special place in hell have wi-fi?

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

I’ve been called a lot of things in my life, but nothing worse than being called on the phone.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

Since there are no other Vulcans on the enterprise and the crew has no comparison, Spock could be and probably is bullshitting them most of the time.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

I only obey the traffic rules to get on other peoples’ nerves.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

Who is this Rorschach guy and where did he get all the pictures of my parents fighting?

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

You will see blonder children than you would ever think possible at expensive ice cream parlours.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

When women get to a certain weight, you’ll notice they change their social media profile pictures to flowers, cats, or dogs.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

Lately I have the attention span of wait what?

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

I’m sick of living through history!

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

Once again I feel like I slept in a washing machine.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,637

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

Eating dark chocolate is practically eating vegetables.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

My greatest aspiration is to one day solve a murder on a train.

Going viral on Threads:

It’s almost bed time, so I’ll just check my e-mail, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and watch a season of my favorite show on Netflix real quick.

Going viral on Slack:

Being a consultant would be fun. Like “hmmm… maybe! Here’s your invoice.”

Just shared via TikTok:

The male urge to tell you what business used to be located there back in his day.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I’m upset that my parents never got rich enough for me to become a socialist.

Just landed via WeChat:

In the 90s, you’d always find your way to some stranger’s house.

Live now on Reddit:

I don’t always push on pull doors but when I do, I do it two or three times to confirm how dumb I really am.

Just shared via Slack:

Ever since I was a little kid, I knew that I wanted to be late for work.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

That boring, introverted life you’re living has probably protected you from a lot of harm and bad experiences.

Real introverts are too introverted to tell people they’re introverts.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Being an introvert is like being a secret agent—nobody knows, and we're too shy to tell them! 🤫🕵️‍♂️ #IntrovertLife"

anxiety, humor, introvert, people, personality, real, self-awareness, social, social anxiety, tell, too

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

They should remove the sex scenes from movies and then put them all into one big super sex scene movie they can show in theaters at the end of the year.

0

2 months ago

big, comedy, end, entertainment, film, humor, movie, put, scene, sex, sex scene, show, suggestion, super, supercut, theater, year, year-end
According to a study, people believe anything that starts with ‘according to a study’.

0

2 months ago

anything, believe, humor, irony, people, perception, research, skepticism, study
I’m not starting a presentation with “ladies and gentlemen”, I’m using the gender neutral “to those who heed my warnings”.

0

2 months ago

audience, communication, gender, gender-neutral, humor, neutral, presentation, speech, warning
Watching Unsolved Mysteries and getting mad when they don’t solve the mystery at the end.

0

2 months ago

end, entertainment, expectation, frustration, getting, humor, mad, mystery, show, solve, suspense, TV, TV Show, unsolved, Unsolved Mystery, watching
You don’t really see women throwing their boyfriend’s stuff out the window anymore.

1

2 months ago

boyfriend, breakup, humor, relationship, stuff, throw, throwing, window, woman, women
Ironically, the Internet was invented to save time.

0

2 months ago

humor, internet, invention, irony, save, technology, time

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

54 shares on Twitch this month:

Staying in bed all day is my way of saving money.

19 shares on YouTube this month:

This wouldn’t happen to me if I were a huge dragon.

12 shares on Reddit this month:

I’ve finally found out what chronology is. And it’s about time.

72 shares on Pinterest this month:

The unemployed urge to say I love you during a job interview.

53 shares on WeChat this month:

You ever met someone so dumb you gotta take a deep breath before responding to them?

25 shares on Messenger this month:

It’s never too early to start making bad decisions.

87 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You think you’re cool and then you see a video of yourself running.

26 shares on YouTube this month:

I always thought that aunts had a lot of money. Until I became one myself.

57 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m never wrong. Just different levels of right.

77 shares on Twitch this month:

Windmill? Big fan.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

“In a galaxy far, far away” is starting to sound quite enticing.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

“I’m like Sisyphus but with dishes. Dishyphus.”

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

“It’s bikini season,” I whisper, eating another bikini.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

Eating spaghetti to forgetti my regretti.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

I’m actually really good looking if you don’t look at me.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

Women are obsessed with Love Island, but when me and my boys do it in real life, we’re disgusting cheating dogs?

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

When you report something to IT and then hear: “Oh! Interesting. We’ve never seen that before.” Is that good or bad?

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Seeing a grown man stumble when the train moves is disgusting. How will you provide for anyone?

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

Another day of waking up cute instead of wealthy, so I guess I have to go to work.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

I’ve got 50 minutes to make it look like I’ve been flossing for the last 6 months.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Instagram:

My brain has too many tabs open.

Breaking via Telegram:

Things I hate about group work: The group.

Just shared via Messenger:

Someone asked me what my hobby was and I realized that my favorite hobby is doing absolutely nothing.

Seen just now on Slack:

Why’d they call it a fly swatter and not a splatula?

Just shared via WeChat:

Eating Halloween candy and putting up my Christmas tree because nothing matters anymore.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

How to have flat stomach: remove all of your organs.

Spotted on Facebook:

Italians, look away now. I break my spaghetti in half before I cook it.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Babe, is everything OK? You’ve barely accomplished anything at all in your entire life.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Promising I won’t tell anyone your secret doesn’t include my husband. He’s basically my diary.

Spotted on Twitch:

My wife just admitted a mistake. What do I have to do now? What does this mean for my future? Help me!

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Real introverts are too introverted to tell people they’re introverts.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

They should remove the sex scenes from movies and then put them all into one big super sex scene movie they can show in theaters at the end of the year.

According to a study, people believe anything that starts with ‘according to a study’.

I’m not starting a presentation with “ladies and gentlemen”, I’m using the gender neutral “to those who heed my warnings”.

Watching Unsolved Mysteries and getting mad when they don’t solve the mystery at the end.

You don’t really see women throwing their boyfriend’s stuff out the window anymore.

Ironically, the Internet was invented to save time.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨