Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side. My legs for always supporting me. And my fingers because I can always count on them.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

My last straw is way longer than I thought.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

When I’m done eating… I have to show my hands to my cat, like I’m a blackjack dealer.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

This meeting could have been a cave painting.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

One time I refused to buy a watch because it was only waterproof to 100 meters. Not sure what sort of future I was imagining for myself there.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

I’ve reached the conclusion that all men love thigh high stockings.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

A middle finger hits different when your nails are done.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

Not now, kitten. Mommy’s destroying and betraying herself for nothing.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

Only in America can a kid wear $150 shoes, sip a $8 coffee, and post from a $1,200 phone about being oppressed and claiming capitalism has failed them.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

Dark mode changed me. White screens now feel like staring into the sun.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

214 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,483

Funny Quotes Topics

17,554

Funny Quotes Images

15,483

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,359

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Reddit:

Today, I’m wearing pink to raise awareness for people like me who forget to separate their red laundry from their whites.

Trending via Slack:

Pumpkin spice season comes earlier every year and yet some still deny climate change.

Just shared via Slack:

Call me a glitch, cause I’m definitely messing with your system.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Don’t put words in my mouth—that’s where the hot dogs go.

Freshly posted on Slack:

It’s important to fuel your body with essential nutrients, which can be found in cookies, chips, and candy.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Phones are wild… we really just sit around tapping glass all day.

Trending via Threads:

Ladies, if you receive flowers with no card on them today, they’re from me.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Experience is what you get when you don’t get what you wanted.

Trending via Reddit:

They should make the last foot of dental floss red so you know when you’re about to run out.

Real lovers are currently single, by the way.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
True love is just on a really long coffee break ☕️😄💘

dating, humor, love, lover, lovers, real, relationship, single

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Most of my job is making things idiot proof, but they keep making better idiots.

0

2 months ago

better, frustration, humor, idiot, idiots, irony, job, keep, making, proof, things, workplace
Is everyone enjoying their entire month of August off work with full pay? Oh yeah, I forgot, only Congress gets to do that.

0

4 months ago

August, Congress, enjoying, everyone, forgot, full, humor, i, month, oh, only, pay, politics, sarcasm, vacation, work
I would only enjoy the Met Gala if at the end of that runway they all walked into a volcano.

0

2 months ago

celebrity, drama, end, enjoy, event, exaggeration, fashion, gala, humor, i, luxury, met, only, runway, satire, volcano
My stress stresses me out to the point where I’m too stressed to deal with my stress.

0

2 months ago

anxiety, coping, health, humor, me, mental, mental health, overwhelmed, point, self-care, stress
How come it’s called “thrift store shopping” instead of Goodwill hunting?

0

2 months ago

bargain, Goodwill, humor, hunting, retail, shopping, shopping trip, store, thrift, thrift store, trip, wordplay
Nobody bools anymore. In high school, everyone was booling.

0

2 months ago

activity, booling, everyone, high, high school, nobody, nostalgia, school, slang, social, social activity

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

88 shares on Snapchat this month:

Hey girl, are you a burger? Because I love you.

52 shares on YouTube this month:

Your honor, I was in my villain era at the time of those incidents.

72 shares on YouTube this month:

“You look tired.” Yes, bro, I stayed up all night obsessing over things I have no control over.

44 shares on Threads this month:

Everyone’s all up in arms about how undemocratic the electoral college is and yet we let our weather be decided by a single unelected groundhog.

63 shares on Instagram this month:

As a kid, I didn’t understand the subtext of ‘I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus’ at all. I thought Mommy was cheating.

76 shares on LinkedIn this month:

In an effort to keep our house clean before Thanksgiving, I’ve asked my family to go live somewhere else.

33 shares on Telegram this month:

My wife trusts me with a joint bank account but when I’m loading the dishwasher she always walks in the kitchen “to get something.”

24 shares on Instagram this month:

Adults should get spring break from their jobs.

89 shares on Instagram this month:

I would cry but my makeup is too expensive.

24 shares on Twitch this month:

Sorry, boss, I can’t come in to work today, I’m gonna be playing outside.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

Ever since I was little, I knew I wanted people to watch how they speak to me.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

A house doesn’t have to be haunted to scare me, I’ve seen the listing prices.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

It’s freezing cold outside and my polar bear won’t start.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

Bad news. Right now is as young as you’re going to be.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Saturday Night Fever, but it’s just me yelling, “Five, six, seven, eight!” while my cat lies down and refuses to participate.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

Since there are no other Vulcans on the enterprise and the crew has no comparison, Spock could be and probably is bullshitting them most of the time.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

Crazy part about being an overthinker is most times you right.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

I was told to be more optimistic so I’ve decided french fries aren’t bad for me.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

You know where I’d like to go? Missing.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Have come to the devastating realization that I am an over-nodder on video calls.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

I’ll never tell anyone your secret because that would mean talking to people.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Being quiet in a room full of loud people is my favorite sport.

Shared recently on Threads:

It’s time for basic human empathy to make a comeback.

Freshly posted on Slack:

There hasn’t been a single person in human history that was remembered for spending their life working a 9-5 job.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Hardest part of beekeeping is thinking of all the names.

Seen just now on Slack:

Sorry, my face wasn’t created to hide that much distain for what you’re saying.

Breaking via YouTube:

Santa: “Don’t leave me milk. Leave me whiskey.”

Just landed via WhatsApp:

All I want for Christmas this year is the housing market to crash, so I could buy a 5-bedroom, 4-bathroom house for $3.

Just landed via WeChat:

Channeling my inner pretzel to achieve expert-level bad posture.

Just landed via Facebook:

IKEA products should be cheaper, I’m doing all the work here. It’s like ordering takeout food and still having to cook it when it arrives.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Real lovers are currently single, by the way.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Most of my job is making things idiot proof, but they keep making better idiots.

Is everyone enjoying their entire month of August off work with full pay? Oh yeah, I forgot, only Congress gets to do that.

I would only enjoy the Met Gala if at the end of that runway they all walked into a volcano.

My stress stresses me out to the point where I’m too stressed to deal with my stress.

How come it’s called “thrift store shopping” instead of Goodwill hunting?

Nobody bools anymore. In high school, everyone was booling.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨