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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

The real flex is how many wounds you can turn into wisdom.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

Who called it an undertaker and not a host mortem?

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

The first time I saw a kiwi I thought it’s a potato with fur.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Some say the world will end in fire. Others say in ice. Coming up next, our expert panel breaks down the arguments for each side…

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

Sorry, can’t. Calling NASA and making alien noises.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

The highlight of my weekends is slipping into something more comfortable and putting my feet up.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

I wish I was a kid again so everyone would be proud of me for taking a long nap.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

Roses are red. Daisies are white. I’m in a grumpy mood. My underwear is too tight.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

Heard a recording of my own voice, and now I can never speak again.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

784 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,946

Funny Quotes Topics

13,917

Funny Quotes Images

10,946

Updated

53 minutes ago

Users Online

3,424

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Discord:

Even on the coldest of days, there’s such peace found in the warm embrace of a hot pizza.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Social media needs to crash for like a year so everybody can snap back into reality.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

If you wish me a happy Thanksgiving, don’t be surprised if I whip out a ziplock bag and ask you to bring me home some leftovers.

Trending via YouTube:

My acting reel includes clips of me “listening” during Zoom meetings.

Trending via Telegram:

Actually, men should take the pill. It makes more sense to unload the gun than to shoot at a bulletproof vest.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Your annoying online persona has captured my heart.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I’m actually really peace-loving, but then there are other people.

Trending via Facebook:

I need new friends. The old ones know too much.

Shared recently on Threads:

Can’t wait for the day off from work so I can sit on the couch at home and stare at the TV screen while thinking about work.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Asked my therapist who their therapist was and went to see them. Asked them the same thing until I got to the final boss therapist and defeated them with my trainwreck of a life.

Refusing to attend my brother’s gambling intervention until they agree to call it a slot shaming.

Refusing to attend my brother’s gambling intervention until they agree to call it a slot shaming.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like this pun-loving rebel is playing hardball at the family table! ♠️🎰♣️ Who knew a simple name change could make all the difference in attending a family affair? 😄 #SlotShamingForTheWin"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

784 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,946

Funny Quotes Topics

13,917

Funny Quotes Images

10,946

Updated

53 minutes ago

Users Online

3,435

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

It’s like ten thousand tweets when all you need is a life.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

Me: I’ve always wanted to stare at someone from across the street then disappear when a bus passes. Interviewer: I meant more like “professional goals”.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

Toothache and heartache comes from the same thing, which is something sweet.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

My idea of fun is watching something on the TV while I look at relevant Wikipedia articles on my phone.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

I like my men like I like my coffee. Not that hot but still making me anxious.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

If you show her you care, she will keep you as a spare.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

Yeah, I’ll get up soon, I just need to look at the internet first. Yes, the whole thing.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

Even worse than a spider is a spider that just disappeared.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Eating cookies left for Santa because the cowboy was a no show.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

Sorry I didn’t text you back, I was pretending I didn’t see it and ended up actually forgetting.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Twitch:

I’ve learned my lesson so many times that I could be a teacher.

Trending via WeChat:

I am on a diet where you just speak Italian: “Pasta,” “Pizza,” and “I’m leaving Rooma for dessert.”

Broadcasted on Reddit:

I hate people that talk to their Apple watch. Fake Power Rangers.

Breaking via X:

If sex was strictly meant for procreation, why did God make it feel so good?

Seen just now on Telegram:

That awkward moment when someone is doing the dishes, and you slowly put your dish in the sink.

Making waves on Twitch:

Sometimes the voices in my head get bullied by the voices in my stomach.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Keep scrolling, I’ve got nothing.

Reported on Instagram:

Our pronunciation of the word “colonel” does feel like group psychosis.

Seen just now on Twitch:

The pigeons are plotting to overthrow the government. It will start with a coo.

Just shared via Twitch:

My doctor told me to eat more Taco Bell. Well, he actually said “less McDonald’s”, but I’m pretty sure I know what he meant.

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