Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

I love to sleep, I wish I could get paid to sleep.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

I hate it when I’m gossiping at work and a customer wants to be served. How rude is that?

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

They charge you for the groceries and then they charge you for the toilet paper when you turn the groceries into poop. Open your eyes!

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

Plot twist: a Mission Impossible movie where the mission is in fact impossible.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

As I get older, I’m understanding why everything needs to be done before 12 p.m.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

When I was a kid, there were two ways to die, natural causes and talking back to your parents.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

Am I just getting old or are people getting more annoying?

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

Baby for sale. Refuses to wear shoes.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Thanks to social media, you can now meet weirdos from the comfort of your own home.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

Parent hack: Shut your child’s bedroom door to make your house cleaner.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,711

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

My friend’s kid asked me if I had any games on phone so I let her text my ex.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

When I was a little girl, I always dreamed of growing up to satisfy user needs in a way that meets business goals for transformative outcomes.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

This bouncer’s lucky I’m with my lady and physically frightened of him or he’d be in a world of pain.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Sorry I can’t have a pleasant, safe and affordable life, my government said no.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I hate it when I go to the kitchen for food and only find ingredients.

Trending via Facebook:

Which is it, brain? Does nothing matter or do I need to be anxious about everything?

Going viral on YouTube:

I’m really good at compromising as long as I get my way.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Liberté. Egalité. Second Coffeé.

Just shared via Discord:

I don’t really do one-night stands, but I will do, like, 3-8 months of a semi-toxic, undefined relationship that wastes my time and ruins my life.

Just shared via Threads:

Adulthood will turn Gmail into part of your social media routine.

Remember: when a band skips your city on tour, it is always personal and they always hate you specifically.

3 weeks ago

Playful quote about feeling personally targeted when a band skips your city on tour.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, absolutely! 🎸🎤🚌 Missing out on your city during a tour must mean they heard about that embarrassing dance move you did at their last concert! 💃🕺 So next time, maybe keep those jazz hands in check, or they might "accidentally" skip your town again! 😉🎵

always, band, city, disappointment, feelings, hate, humor, music, personal, remember, tour

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

43 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“Why don’t you tell us anything anymore?” I’ve updated my privacy policy.

11 shares on Messenger this month:

Therapy is basically me saying, “I did a thing,” and my therapist saying, “Yay, good job!”

59 shares on Facebook this month:

As a retiree, I have two pairs of pajamas. Bedtime and daytime. Sometimes I get them confused.

15 shares on Messenger this month:

Sex is fine, but have you ever completed every single thing on your to-do list?

64 shares on Reddit this month:

TikTok? I still call it a watch.

47 shares on Threads this month:

I think God was high when he made me.

75 shares on WeChat this month:

I love how unforgiving soy sauce is. Cause you know immediately when you did too much with her.

24 shares on Threads this month:

(To my coworker that’s a year younger than me) You’re like a son to me.

30 shares on Telegram this month:

If history repeats itself, I’m getting a pet dinosaur.

12 shares on Reddit this month:

They expect me to work at work.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m sorry for inventing the universe.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Reading a book is nice, but reading a book in the middle of the night when everyone is asleep is even better, it’s therapeutic.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m confused how a cemetery can raise its funeral prices and blame it on the cost of living.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Yes, officer I saw the speed limit, I just didn’t see your car.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Think like a crazy person, and then you’ll understand.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

A girl was coming over till she wasn’t—that’s what happened.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

The only person I ever call is my wife, and that’s just when we’re trying to find her phone.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Depression is embarrassing because sometimes it makes you miss appointments and not return phone calls, and when the fog starts to lift, you gotta do a whole bloody apology tour.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I still make time for all my favorite hobbies, like drinking, swearing, and making people feel uncomfortable.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

When my friends are religious, I pretend not to notice.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,311

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

I replaced my old flat pillow that hurt my neck with a new fat fluffy pillow that hurts my neck.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

Explain it to me like I’m five then do it for me like I’m one hundred.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

Podcasts are like babies, they’re too easy to create and not everyone should have one.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

It’s so hot the chipmunks are using my bird bath as a hot tub and requesting mimosas and the brunch menu.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can’t even get into my own pants.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

Dropped my skinny boyfriend between the bed and the wall like a vape or a TV remote.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

Waving at the end of every Zoom call like it’s the 1800s and a big steamship is leaving the harbor.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

My most boomer complaint is that nobody knows how to bring an item out of courtesy to parties anymore.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

Should I be worried that buzzards circle me when I go for a run?

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Just saw the fattest bird. This guy must get up early as hell.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I try not to laugh at my own jokes, but we all know I’m hilarious.

Spotted on Twitch:

Absolutely love wanting to do a lot of things and ending up not doing even one! Yay.

Going viral on Twitch:

Santa doesn’t check the naughty list anymore, he just checks social media.

Just shared via TikTok:

Opening a Star Wars pub called Bar Bar Binks.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Millennials aren’t having kids because no one’s made lo-fi hip-hop beats to yell at your kids to.

Making waves on Reddit:

If you get cremated after you die, you can be put into an hourglass and still participate in family game nights.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Becoming a dad turned me into an environmentalist. All I do now is turn off lights and yell at people who waste energy.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

You know it’s bad when people start telling you, you are the strongest person they’ve ever met.

Spotted on TikTok:

My boss told me to show initiative, so I decided to finish work early.

Broadcasted on Discord:

I finally figured out my lifelong dream of becoming a human blanket, but my friends still call it napping on their couch.

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