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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

These days, you gotta have a job for the bills and another job for yourself.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

The best plans on a Friday night are no plans.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Imagine going to see a situationship in 1868, and you go outside, and your horse is dead as hell.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

Getting left on read really gives me perspective on what Nigerian princes go through.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Everyone is getting pregnant or married, and I’m back to “What’s your favorite color?“

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

Stop eating around the bush or whatever the saying is.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

My fairytale would be called the princess and the pea sized bladder.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

Men be like, “But I’m different.” Yeah, a different type of disappointment.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

I think I may need professional help. A chef, a butler and a maid should do it!

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

I just want someone who can read a book with me in silence, and then do ungodly things sometimes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,708

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

I followed my heart, and it led me to the fridge.

Breaking via Snapchat:

I lost my job at NASA Mission Control today. I misheard when they said, “It’s lunch time.”

Making waves on Reddit:

Starting all my work emails today with, “to whom it’s about to concern”.

Making waves on Messenger:

I am not living la vida loca. I am loca because of la vida.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Everybody hates me for being a beautiful angel with a perfect soul.

Making waves on TikTok:

The one thing I think most parents need to realize is, there’s absolutely no secrets that your child doesn’t share about you in the classroom.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I think carefully about what I’m going to say and I still manage to say the wrong thing. It’s truly a gift I have.

Spotted on Telegram:

Pets don’t talk because the moment they do, the government will tax them.

Breaking via Twitch:

Shoutout to everyone who can’t keep up with the laundry or the dishes but decided it was a great idea to start gardening.

Just shared via Messenger:

What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger, but also a little grumpy.

Robots eating a bowl of cereal that’s actually a bunch of nuts and bolts, you don’t see that as much anymore.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like these robots decided to upgrade their breakfast menu—no more boring cereal, just a crunchy combo of nuts and bolts! 🥣🤖🔩 Who knew breakfast could be so *metal*-icious? Guess even robots want their mechanical munchies! 😂⚙️

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Keep the laugh going 😂

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Social Media Stars ⭐

58 shares on Pinterest this month:

I need a button in Zoom meetings where it just freezes my screen and makes it look like I’m having network issues.

91 shares on Pinterest this month:

Pretty sure the guy in front of me at McDonald’s ordered the rest of the food.

91 shares on Instagram this month:

Elevator rides in real life: 30 seconds long. Elevator rides in movies: Two minutes long.

69 shares on Instagram this month:

It’s curious how kids are always really hungry right before dinner and right after dinner, but never during actual dinner.

58 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“It could be drugs,” I tell myself as I buy more books.

44 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Not to brag, but I can trip over things that aren’t even there!

95 shares on Pinterest this month:

It’s actually quite simple: I don’t want to eat less, I just want to weigh less.

49 shares on WeChat this month:

Relationships are actually easy when you’re not dating a retard.

60 shares on Pinterest this month:

Theo Von’s entire life is like a raccoon that visits New York City.

15 shares on Reddit this month:

Probably always gonna be the weirdo that believes in magic.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Apparently, telling your friends not to stress about their wedding because “it’s your first marriage” is not the right thing to say.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I won $6 on a scratch-off last night. Out of my way, peasants!

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Body by sandwich.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not crazy, I’m just mentally spicy.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

If I’ve offended you with my posts, I humbly apologize, I honestly did not think you could read.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

People should be able to call in healthy: “Look, I’m not coming into the office today. I feel really good and I don’t want to waste it on being at work.“

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I keep pressing the space bar, but I’m still on Earth.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

But what if I don’t want someone that’s good for me?

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Oh great, you brought your ancient ancestors with you.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I feel bad for Slash. He bought a goofy hat in like 1986 and now he has to wear it until the day he dies.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,415

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

My husband said I use a lot of makeup, so I showed him some makeup tutorials on TikTok and I don’t think he’ll be making that mistake again.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

I’m 45% coffee, 40% wine and 6% cheese.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

You unfollow me because you are afraid of falling in love with me. I know!

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Save money by accidentally forgetting your wallet at home. Follow me for more financial tips and tricks.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

I miss my bed. Why does it have to be so far from where I work?

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

Everyone is celebrating my vegan Bolognese sauce. The secret ingredient is minced meat.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

Hangman is so great. No better way for a child to learn how to spell than by having to save a man from hanging to death.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Before I start seeing a psychiatrist, does anyone like me crazy?

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

You will watch an old classic movie that kind of sucks. Then, on the IMDb trivia, it says, this was the first time a film director ever pointed the camera at the sun.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

I don’t always say something stupid. But when I do, I keep talking and make it worse.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Messenger:

My ducks may not be in a row, but at least they’re having fun. Your ducks probably hate you for making them line up like that.

Trending via X:

Some people are wise, some folks are otherwise.

Trending via Facebook:

I don’t even believe myself when I say I’ll be ready in 5 minutes.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

I don’t normally like to brag about expensive trips but I just got back from the grocery store.

Going viral on Threads:

Being an iPad baby must be so exciting. Imagine going from nine dull months in the womb to playing Candy Crush.

Just landed via YouTube:

What we need is an evil Santa who steals our children’s most annoying toys.

Spotted on Discord:

I don’t like to call it a xenomorph — I prefer the term “the alien from Alien.”

Breaking via Snapchat:

It’s funny how cats have ears on top of their head, but don’t use them.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I’m like if a birthday card with no money inside was a person.

Going viral on Discord:

Time to get off the internet, I’ve already had enough stupid for the week.

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