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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

“Comparison is the thief of joy!” Well, not if you’re better than everyone else.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

I want time to watch more films, but I also want time to read more books, but I also want time to look at more nothing.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

Hear me out: a streaming service that doesn’t keep increasing their prices and actually has movies you want to watch.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

The only ‘survival horror’ game I play is called ‘getting up every day and leaving the house.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

Frankly, I have too many situations and not enough monitors.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

I hate when recipes tell you to take something out of the pan and add it back in later. No way bro. It’s staying in there.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

Another fine day ruined by waking up.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

People drive you insane and then say “see, I told you that you’re insane.”

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

Aging gracefully is like getting steamrolled gracefully, you should really be screaming.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

The idea that the zombies in the 28 Days series exist entirely in Britain is genuinely hilarious. The rest of the world saw that and was like, “Yeah, they can handle it on their own.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,608

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

Touched a tree and accidentally absorbed 400 years of wisdom and 2 squirrel secrets.

Spreading quickly via X:

Not to brag but I always pick the slowest moving checkout line at the grocery store.

Going viral on Twitch:

Which one of you shrunk all of my jeans?

Live now on Reddit:

You get to a certain age and realize stretching is non-negotiable.

Seen just now on Instagram:

All these laws are really getting in the way of my driving.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

The voodoo magic of a tranquil night’s sleep

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

The only problem I have with chocolate is that one minute it’s there and the next it’s not.

Live now on Snapchat:

Tariff this, tariff that. When is somebody gonna tariff my clothes and kiss me?

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Stop using ChatGPT. You got a question, you come to me first.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Sorry for widening my eyes and whispering “The prophecy” when we first met.

Robots eating a bowl of cereal that’s actually a bunch of nuts and bolts, you don’t see that as much anymore.

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Robots eating a bowl of cereal that’s actually a bunch of nuts and bolts, you don’t see that as much anymore.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like these robots decided to upgrade their breakfast menu—no more boring cereal, just a crunchy combo of nuts and bolts! 🥣🤖🔩 Who knew breakfast could be so *metal*-icious? Guess even robots want their mechanical munchies! 😂⚙️

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

77 shares on Telegram this month:

The haters said I couldn’t do it. And the haters? They were right. They were correct. They even nailed the small details, frankly it’s amazing.

17 shares on YouTube this month:

Everyone thinks they won’t be that couple that goes from ‘everything you do is a turn-on’ to ‘you’re breathing too loud,’ but they will be, oh, they will be.

21 shares on Snapchat this month:

I usually decompose after work rather than decompress.

36 shares on Messenger this month:

One day you said w00t for the last time, and didn’t even realize.

54 shares on Snapchat this month:

People used to fly kites. Glad that’s over with.

31 shares on X this month:

After my funeral, I want one of my friends to take my phone and text everyone, “Thanks for coming.”

72 shares on Twitch this month:

Shazam, but for the name of the person who literally just introduced themself to me.

19 shares on Threads this month:

Good news: I only ate one slice of pizza. Bad news: I did that four times in a row.

36 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Not to brag or anything, but I can forget what I’m doing while I’m doing it.

34 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m tired of being an adult. Therefore, I will be stepping down. Thank you!

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I thought Game of Thrones was a pooping contest for men.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the best thirst trap poster of them all?

21 folks are currently checking 👀

No crypto for me, thanks, at least not until I figure out how dollars work.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

The toughest part of a diet isn’t watching what you eat. It’s watching what other people eat.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

You can be anything. Be the person who ends meetings early.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

You either get a kid who eats like a bottomless pit, or you get one that when asked what they want for lunch answers “No thanks, I had lunch yesterday.”

15 folks are currently checking 👀

“Overdressed” is a social construct created by hating girls.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

“Are you free tomorrow?” No, tomorrow I’m still expensive.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m an optimist and i understand how annoying that is.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

For someone who is afraid of failure, I’m very unmotivated.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

4,017

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

The days will soon be shorter again. Then it won’t rain for so long.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

Somethіng wrong іn your lіfe? There’s a nap for that.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

My bathroom mirror after a long party weekend: “Girl, those vitamins can’t help you now.”

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

Nothing angers me more than tall ghosts in horror movies. No one born in 1782 was that tall. Do your research, screenwriters.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

It’s Friday. I ran out of small talk on Tuesday. Please leave me alone.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

When does hibernation actually begin? I wanna take part this year.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

Don’t donate your plasma. It’s a big scam, and they’re just using it to make TVs.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

They say 30 is the new 20, and 40 the new 30. All I know is 9 p.m. is the new midnight.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

I’m sorry, being on social media gave you the impression I’m a social person.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

That awkward moment when you try something on in a shop but you don’t know if you can get it off again.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

Guys only want one thing and it’s my grandmother’s meatball recipe.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Facebook is like a never-ending high school reunion.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

The gothic urge to live in a sleepy seaside town with a terrifying backstory.

Breaking via Slack:

I know breakfastless behavior when I see it.

Shared recently on YouTube:

My summer body is just my winter body with better lighting.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Brother: What are you bringing to Thanksgiving dinner? Me: Wine and unresolved issues. They pair nicely.

Just shared via Instagram:

Mercury retrograde: because adulting is hard, and sometimes you just need a celestial excuse.

Trending via Pinterest:

You sound smart. You some kinda ‘ologist?

Shared recently on Reddit:

Why is it called Christian community and not Holyfans?

Making waves on Threads:

Cataclysmic events, such as your fingers on my skin.

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