Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” is my favorite story about how everyone treats you like shit until they need something from you.

3 days ago

Commentary:
The real lesson here is always carry a red nose in case you want to be suddenly popular during fog season 😂🦌🎅

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Candy cigarettes really used to be a thing and we really bought them and walked around like we were smokers at the tender age of 6.

2 months ago

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I made soup while whispering “He was never mine,” like it’s 1893, and I just lost my beloved to a duel.

5 months ago

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I love dogs with human names because you get to say things like Bob pooped on the rug again.

1 month ago

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Stop making eye contact with me, I can’t afford a wedding right now.

1 month ago

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No more bare minimum, I want the moon and the stars. Maybe even a planet at this point.

2 months ago

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My problem is I always think I can get ready in 15 minutes when I have repeatedly proven that I can’t.

1 month ago

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