Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

If they cancel the Simpsons, we will no longer be able to see into the future.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

If you meet me and I’m talking to myself, just keep walking. I’m self-employed and I’m in a meeting with senior management.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Instead of saying “Good morning,” my wife and I go straight into explanations of how badly we each slept.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

Failed relationships can be described as so much wasted make-up.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

If you have an opinion about my life, please raise your hand. Now put it over your mouth.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

I love the idea of a fruitarian, just morally affronted that anyone could eat a baby spinach.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

Just bought 4 pounds of cherries like I’m in some math problem.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

I’m not lazy, I’m on power saving mode.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

It’s that time of year where every jacket you choose is wrong.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

Not being filthy rich is continuing to be a huge inconvenience for me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,614

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

Apparently, “I just don’t want to” is not a valid reason when your boss asks you why you’re not coming in today.

Going bananas on Discord:

The best part of having a failing memory is that you can wrap up presents for yourself, and when it comes time to open them, you are honestly surprised.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying seems to be working.

Shared recently on Slack:

I’ve cut my fingernails too short and now I can’t open my shower gel. What’s the point of being well-groomed if I can’t smell like mangos?

Freshly posted on Discord:

I get it cicadas, I’m ready to scream for six weeks too.

Making waves on Reddit:

‘You’re going to die alone!’ Okay, when did dying become a group project?

Spotted on Twitch:

I can’t believe I’m supposed to obey ALL the traffic laws ALL the time.

Seen just now on X:

You’ve never burned music to a CD, and it shows.

Just shared via Twitch:

I need carpenters to remember that beds are also for sex. The aesthetics are great and all, but what is with all the squeaking?

Making waves on Snapchat:

I lied, I’m jealous. I hope every girl who looks at you gets clipped by a meteor.

Single bells, single bells, single all the way. Oh, what fun it is to watch those couples fight all day, yay!

4 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like a sleigh ride through drama town! 🚨💏🔔#SingleAndReadyToMingle

bell, couple, couples, day, fight, fun, holiday, humor, oh, relationship, single, watch, yay

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Yeah, Instagram is bad for our mental health, but what about Outlook?

0

2 months ago

bad, health, humor, Instagram, media, mental, mental health, outlook, social, social media, stress, technology, work, work stress
My company promotes diversity. We’d never hire twins.

0

2 months ago

company, diversity, hire, humor, never, twins, workplace
I don’t get involved in anyone’s business, let alone their drama. You should try it.

0

2 months ago

advice, alone, business, drama, humor, i, involvement, let, should, try
Autocorrect has become our worst enema.

0

2 months ago

autocorrect, digital, digital joke, humor, joke, mistake, technology, texting, worst
I wish it were social acceptable to say “I don’t care” and walk away mid conversation when you’re bored.

0

2 months ago

acceptable, away, awkwardness, bored, boredom, care, conversation, honesty, humor, i, norms, say, self-expression, social, social norms, walk, walking, walking away, wish
Babe, is everything OK? You’ve barely accomplished anything at all in your entire life.

0

5 months ago

accomplishment, anything, babe, communication, conversation, everything, humor, life, motivation, ok, partner, relationship, sarcasm

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

26 shares on TikTok this month:

Life hack: Confuse your doctor by putting on gloves at the same time he does.

58 shares on Facebook this month:

Turtles made out of plastic, problem solved.

27 shares on X this month:

You should never forget where you came from. That’s probably where your keys are.

29 shares on Slack this month:

Elect a clown, expect a circus.

93 shares on Threads this month:

This is no glow. This is the rage that boils inside me.

47 shares on Pinterest this month:

Grammar is important. It’s the difference between feeling your nuts and feeling you’re nuts.

90 shares on Twitch this month:

I have a great poker face because I have no idea what’s going on.

89 shares on Slack this month:

The world would be a much nicer place if we just turn off the news.

78 shares on Discord this month:

Never underestimate my ability to stare out a window and not speak for hours on a car ride.

91 shares on TikTok this month:

Training a cat is very easy. After a few days, you do what she wants.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

I never get as envious of parents as I do when their baby starts crying and they get to leave the event.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

It was the worst of times, it was the worst of times.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

She was rare. Like a meth head with good teeth.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

There is literally no rule that says you have to get married and start a family. Normalize splitting a mansion with your five best friends and ten dogs.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here plucking chin hairs.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

My superpower is to make anyone I wanna make comfortable feel uncomfortable.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

Stop making eye contact with me, I can’t afford a wedding right now.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

I would love to have children one day. Two days maximum.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Do you think birds, once they get older, start people-watching?

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

Having a horse run off on you in medieval times must have been crazy. Imagine if your car got scared and ran away, and you found it a day later by itself at a gas station.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via YouTube:

Every time you break spaghetti noodles in half, an Italian has a stroke.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Attention to detail is so sexy, study me, baby.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Sorry, can’t. Calling NASA and making alien noises.

Just landed via Threads:

I need a job where I don’t actually have to work.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Apartments show you 44 pics of the lobby. Man, I ain’t living in there.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Can I come over and look at your Hot Wheels collection?

Trending via WhatsApp:

My burning question is who thought a two day weekend would suffice the human body.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Unlike men, women would immediately admit their mistakes if they had any.

Seen just now on Discord:

We are gathered here today because our ancestors didn’t have condoms.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Never wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Single bells, single bells, single all the way. Oh, what fun it is to watch those couples fight all day, yay!

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Yeah, Instagram is bad for our mental health, but what about Outlook?

My company promotes diversity. We’d never hire twins.

I don’t get involved in anyone’s business, let alone their drama. You should try it.

Autocorrect has become our worst enema.

I wish it were social acceptable to say “I don’t care” and walk away mid conversation when you’re bored.

Babe, is everything OK? You’ve barely accomplished anything at all in your entire life.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨