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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

Watching a movie on the plane? No thanks. Watching my seatmate’s movie with no audio and not understanding what’s going on for over an hour? Yassss.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

I just wish I had the confidence of my husband who thinks everything only takes 5 minutes.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

A funny thing about the Heimlich Maneuver is that it’s impossible to pronounce if you’re choking.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

If you ask him what he admires most about a woman and he says brains, you’ve got yourself a zombie.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

Probably the worst thing you can do when your wife gives you a disapproving look from across the room for being on your phone is finish typing this.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

Getting paid to sleep would be such a dream job.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,852

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on WeChat:

I used to judge cat owners for giving in to their pets’ whims too easily, but holy shit, these animals are relentless and would starve themselves to organ failure just because one time, weeks ago, they had a taste of some ‘better’ food.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Good morning to everyone except myself cause I wish I was still asleep.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I feel like everyone who has ever had a hamster has some kind of traumatic experience with it.

Breaking via Messenger:

My dog understands several human words. I don’t understand any dog barks. He may be smarter than me.

Making waves on Threads:

“You replied so quickly.” God forbid I wait like a dog to hear from you again.

Going bananas on Discord:

Something very chic about crying while driving… have to keep it a little classy so you don’t crash… other drivers unaware a diva is down in the next lane over…

Spotted on X:

I told the trees what you did. Be wary when you enter the forest next.

Single bells, single bells, single all the way. Oh, what fun it is to watch those couples fight all day, yay!

1 week ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like a sleigh ride through drama town! 🚨💏🔔#SingleAndReadyToMingle

bell, couple, couples, day, fight, fun, holiday, humor, oh, relationship, single, watch, yay

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You ever look at yourself on the self-checkout camera and think, “wow, I better write my will.”

1 month ago
awareness, better, camera, ever, funny moment, humor, i, moment, reflection, self-checkout, shopping, think, yourself
If I were lost and all I had was a compass, I would still be lost.

1 month ago
compass, confusion, direction, humor, i, irony, lost, still
I love when my grandma texts me — because I know it took her an hour.

1 month ago
family, gap, generational, generational gap, grandma, hour, humor, i, know, love, me, patience, technology, texting, texts
If you’re looking for another bad decision, I’m here.

1 month ago
another, bad, bad decision, decision, decision making, friendship, here, humor, invitation, joke, looking, self-deprecation
I’m at a point in life where I’m just at a point.

1 month ago
existential, humor, humor quote, just, life, point, self-deprecation, where
Catching me in person is rare. I move like a ghost.

2 months ago
catching, elusive, ghost, humor, i, me, move, movement, person, personality, rare

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

Sorry I’m late. It’s just because of who I am as a person.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

Sometimes I’ll pause a YouTube video to scroll on reels. I’m not sure if I’ll ever be able to be loved genuinely.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

BREAKING: OpenAI to partner with OpenAI to help fund OpenAI. OpenAI up 90%.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not hungover, it’s just Tuesday.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

I still can’t believe Aldi sells shopping carts for 25 cents. I’ve got 8 of them now and don’t really even have a use for them, it was just too good of a deal to pass up.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

“How would you describe yourself.” Me: I absolutely would not.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

The smaller the woman, the bigger the attitude. It’s science.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

There is a giant spider on my dash so I’m going to have to buy a new car now.

Just shared via Pinterest:

While you were rotting and wasting your life away, I was doing the exact same thing.

Trending via Snapchat:

Everyone’s a gangster until the grocery store switches their aisles around.

Shared recently on Threads:

Thinking of starting a religion around cheese.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I identify as a weather forecast: Anything’s possible.

Breaking via Slack:

We always asked “where is Waldo” but never “who is Waldo hiding from”.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I wish I could have a kid just to see what it looks like… and then put it back.

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Activity Log ✨

Single bells, single bells, single all the way. Oh, what fun it is to watch those couples fight all day, yay!

You ever look at yourself on the self-checkout camera and think, “wow, I better write my will.”

If I were lost and all I had was a compass, I would still be lost.

I love when my grandma texts me — because I know it took her an hour.

If you’re looking for another bad decision, I’m here.

I’m at a point in life where I’m just at a point.

Catching me in person is rare. I move like a ghost.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I wanna be crazy rich. I’m already crazy, so I’m half way there.

Screen time so high, I should send another risky message and then ignore my cell phone for three days.

I don’t think the makers of protein powder have ever had chocolate.

I just lost all my tabs. Only now do I understand the tragedy that was the burning of the Library of Alexandria.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Super excited about a brand new week of self-sabotage.

Some people buy shoes to feel alive. I buy boarding passes.

Nothing can break the bond between me and peanut butter.

I’ve been saying for years that cigs are better for you than vapes, and the vindication I feel now is just orgasmic.

I have a brain that wants to be alone, and a heart that wants to be loved.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

At therapy, saying “Don’t worry about it” to every question.

I miss being the age where the most devastating thing in the world was when my sandwiches got cut into squares instead of triangles.

I went downstairs to get my charger. I came back up with a bowl of ice cream and no charger.

My husband sure has a lot of opinions on which movie he’s gonna sleep through.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Tested positive for needing a kiss.

Bugs Bunny taught me that my choices aren’t limited to fight or flight, I can also pretend I’m a pretty lady.

Without the words ‘literally’ and ‘like,’ I am nothing.

I’ve literally never copied and pasted text and thought, “I’m so glad it kept the formatting and font from the other document.”

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Single bells, single bells, single all the way. Oh, what fun it is to watch those couples fight all day, yay!

Related Funny Posts 🤝

You ever look at yourself on the self-checkout camera and think, “wow, I better write my will.”

If I were lost and all I had was a compass, I would still be lost.

I love when my grandma texts me — because I know it took her an hour.

If you’re looking for another bad decision, I’m here.

I’m at a point in life where I’m just at a point.

Catching me in person is rare. I move like a ghost.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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