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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Get in loser, we’re going overthinking.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

I will marry a man who treats me delicately as if I’m a gift straight from heaven.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

You don’t need a therapist, you need an exorcist.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

Every person you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Make it worse by asking if they’re drinking enough water.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Those who still fit in their wedding dresses years later haven’t been making enough effort eating.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI get absolutely no work done and then throw their coworker under the bus as soon as their boss asks about it.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

How am I supposed to make life choices when I still use my fingers to count and sing the whole alphabet to see what letter comes next.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

I lied, there’s no sex. Can you tell me a bedtime story?

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

And what do we do when we are sad? “Add to cart”

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

You know it’s a fancy restaurant when you have to point at what you want on the menu because you can’t pronounce the name.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Jan 7, 2026

3,333

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I relate to a rooster because I also want start off my day by screaming.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Stop worrying about being weird and start being weirder.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Guys with grey in their beards will do that thing you like.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Never in my life have I heard my dad sneeze at an acceptable volume.

Just landed via Reddit:

It’s lowkey nothing else to do except become a better version of yourself, lol.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Being loved right feels like telepathy and a little bit of witchcraft.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Kitchen sex, because it might be your only chance of getting laid on an island this summer.

Spotted on X:

God: “You’re all really bad at this.”

Shared recently on WeChat:

I’m afraid that AI will quickly realize that the biggest problem on Earth is humans – and then solve the problem.

Breaking via WeChat:

In my 20’s: might hit the club tonight. In my 40’s: might go to the grocery store to listen to some bangers.

So a baby crawls across the floor to it’s bottle and it’s cute but when I do it Im in need of an intervention?

2 months ago

0

So a baby crawls across the floor to it’s bottle and it’s cute but when I do it Im in need of an intervention?

Download image ↓

Commentary:
👶🏻🍼 Ahh, the double standards of life! When a baby crawls cutely towards its bottle, it's adorable. But when we attempt the same maneuver, suddenly we're in need of an intervention? Where's the fairness in that, huh? Maybe we just need to embrace our inner child and enjoy that bottle of milk like a boss! 😉

across, adult, adult behavior, baby, behavior, bottle, crawling, cute, floor, funny observation, humor, i, intervention, need, observation

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My greatest flaw is that I will try any specialty lemonade. 90% of them are nearly undrinkable, but I persevere.

0

3 days ago

90, beverage, drink, flaw, humor, i, lemonade, perseverance, specialty, specialty drink, taste, taste test, test, try
I wouldn’t walk 500 miles, and then walk 500 more.

0

2 months ago

commitment, distance, endurance, humor, humor quote, i, miles, song, walk, walking
Absent father sucks, but have you met the final boss, the father who is actually in your life every day but emotionally unavailable, lol.

0

2 months ago

absent, absent father, actually, boss, daily, daily presence, day, distance, dynamics, emotional, emotional distance, emotional unavailability, emotionally, every, family, family dynamics, father, father figure, figure, final, humor, life, lol, met, parent-child, parent-child relationship, presence, relationship, sucks, unavailability, unavailable
I might not be able to speak another language but I can speak English slower!

0

2 months ago

communication, English, humor, i, language, slow, speak
Please don’t celebrate April Fool’s day if you’re not a fool. My culture is not your costume.

0

2 months ago

April, April Fool’s, celebrate, celebration, costume, culture, day, fool, fool’s, humor, identity, sensitivity
I like people who make eye contact like they know something I don’t.

0

2 months ago

confidence, contact, curiosity, eye, eye contact, humor, i, interaction, know, mystery, people, social, social interaction, something

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

91 shares on Slack this month:

“I’m still young”, I tell myself, as my knees make popping noises while standing up.

28 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m an adult, but not the ‘makes positive life choices’ kind.

55 shares on Telegram this month:

The year number is getting too big, let’s do another Jesus soon.

87 shares on TikTok this month:

Imagine hating me and im just at my desk spinning reeaaally fast in my office chair.

96 shares on Slack this month:

Okay, seen enough, someone put a blanket over my cage.

19 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Imagine working at Pornhub. At like the corporate office as a developer or whatever. White collar. That’s gotta be a weird job. Working there has gotta be bloody weird.

10 shares on WeChat this month:

If you’re late for work, don’t forget to look mad when you walk in.

94 shares on YouTube this month:

What did people do before eyeglasses, like half the world just walked around not being able to see?

63 shares on Messenger this month:

Getting a boner because the Lego instructions are telling me what to do.

99 shares on Reddit this month:

No need for a Halloween costume this year because there’s nothing scarier than being in your mid-20s and not knowing who you are or what you want to do anymore.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Signatures are so unserious, just “pinky promise” for adults. Write your name in a silly little way on this very important piece of paper so we that we can send you to jail if you do anything wrong.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

People who have apartment windows that face the street and put their Christmas trees in them, thank you for your service.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Get off the apps. Sleep with someone in your friend group. Add an awkward tension every time you hang out with them.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

TikTok? I still call it a watch.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t worry. Artificial intelligence will never replace actual ignorance.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Oops, I accidentally healed too much. I am now uninterested in anyone but mẹ.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

What must a pancake think when it’s being flipped? Doubtless something jolly.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I saw an ad for the ultimate dog bed, but my dogs already have the ultimate dog bed. It’s called my bed.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry, I didn’t text back. I don’t like talking to people anymore.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry I was late, I was waiting for my CVS receipt to finish printing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,552

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

That’s not my girl bestie, that’s my platonic wife.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

I will sit in the rain about this.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Type of hangover that makes you understand why normies spend $25 for a poor soul to bike a bagel to them.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

The night before a day off is more satisfying than the actual day off.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

The trick is to be born in the right place and at the right time. If you mess that up, it gets tedious.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

I just need a day between everyday… to recover from the day before… just so I can prepare for the day coming.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

Don’t think of it as losing followers, think of it as frustrating bots to the point they go away.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

Suffering from a forehead kisses deficiency (self-diagnosed).

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

Some people aren’t just missing a screw, the whole toolbox is gone.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

Trust my gut? The thing that can’t even handle milk.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Get in loser. We’re going on a guilt trip.

Making waves on TikTok:

Are you bad wifi, cause im feeling no connection here.

Going bananas on Instagram:

I get shy when my man stares at me for too long because what if he’s realizing I’m actually a lil ugly.

Just landed via Snapchat:

“Bye, have a great day, I’ll see you after school”, I tell the orange in my kid’s lunch.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Kids these days don’t know the shame of having to explain yo-yo injuries.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I remember when asking someone if they were on X meant something completely different.

Just shared via WeChat:

The man who invented autocorrect has died. Restaurant in peace.

Trending via WhatsApp:

You ask a girl if she ate, and she gon say, “Yeah, I had my coffee.”

Spotted on Facebook:

At my age, I’m more frightened of a hip break than a heartbreak.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Super quick question: does anyone know what the point is?

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