Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

I’m on a spinning rock in outer space, and I have to answer work emails.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

The inventor of autocorrect walked into a bar and ordered a bear.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

My toxic trait is thinking every inconvenience is the universe personally attacking me.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

I hate it when I gain 20 pounds for a role and then realize I’m not an actor.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

The 5 seconds in the morning, when I don’t yet know who I am, is the best time of the day.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

I like my mornings to be slow and quiet. I want the day to romance me a bit before it tries to mess me up.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

Gnocchi: The small, chubby children of spaghetti and potatoes.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

If you ever feel like something’s missing in your life, it’s probably me.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

“There are lots of benefits to working here. We have fun social events and activities after work!” And what are the benefits?

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

Special Offer: Save 100% when you don’t buy anything.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

234 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,503

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,503

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,257

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

I regret to inform you all that I just plan on getting hotter and weirder.

Trending via Discord:

The word abbreviation sure is long for what it means.

Live now on Facebook:

Adulting looked way more affordable in the 90’s. I feel scammed.

Shared recently on Threads:

I’ve got 50 minutes to make it look like I’ve been flossing for the last 6 months.

Going bananas on Reddit:

At this point, I’m rooting for the aliens.

Making waves on TikTok:

Just had a salad but it didn’t make me laugh like women in stock photos.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

My advice to kids in kindergarten is to start saving all the money.

Just shared via Instagram:

May the Force be with you… especially in Monday meetings.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Having a girlfriend who doesn’t post herself on social media is an underrated blessing.

Breaking via X:

Every time the universe sends me a sign, I’m like, okay, but I think I’ll wait for a signier sign.

So apparently it’s still a DUI even if you’re the birthday boy.

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So apparently it’s still a DUI even if you’re the birthday boy.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like even birthday wishes can't get you out of a DUI! 🎉🚗 Remember, even birthday boys need to party responsibly! 🎂🎈"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

85 shares on Messenger this month:

Statistically speaking, on average, a person has two arms, two legs, one testicle, and one ovary.

40 shares on LinkedIn this month:

What no one ever considers is that the kids are pretending to believe in Santa for the sake of the parents.

83 shares on Reddit this month:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the same bill I couldn’t afford to pay in a different color.

94 shares on Threads this month:

If I say “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared research, data, charts and I will totally prove you wrong.

41 shares on Discord this month:

Oh, you’re extending your sale? Your Black Friday sale that ended on Tuesday? You’re extending it?

79 shares on Messenger this month:

Alcohol is actually a performance-enhancing drug. But you’re not gonna like the performance.

83 shares on Instagram this month:

Relationship Status: just tried to pet my dog and he turned his head so I pretended I was reaching for a leaf that was next to him.

48 shares on Reddit this month:

I was at a funeral yesterday and spiced things up by walking over to complete strangers and saying “Ignore what everyone else thinks. I, personally, have no issue with you being here”.

63 shares on WeChat this month:

The older I get, the more I understand why deer run in front of cars.

15 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Dying and being reincarnated as a beetle, and crawling to my old body’s grave, and digging down and living in my old ribcage.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Main difference between me and my jokes is that folks don’t laugh at my jokes.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t even believe myself when I say I’ll be ready in 5 minutes.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m sorry to break it to you, but you need a soul to have a soulmate.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Asking “how’s the job hunt going?” is a lot like asking “did you come?” I promise you, you’d hear if there was any success.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I like my men like I like my coffee. Not that hot but still making me anxious.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I miss when there were so many episodes of every show that they all eventually did one where it was hot, and the air conditioning went out.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

If I say “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared research, data, charts and I will totally prove you wrong.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not always annoying, sometimes I sleep too.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Duolingo does everything except actually teach you the language.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate it when I’m gossiping at work and a customer wants to be served. How rude is that?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

234 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,503

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,503

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,340

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

Any jar is a swear jar when the lid won’t open.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Just thinking how many animals we had to ride on before we realized horses were ok with it.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

The worst part about being in your 40s is the 10 years of listening to people say, “Wait till you’re 50.”

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

I never get as envious of parents as I do when their baby starts crying and they get to leave the event.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

Imagine falling in love and then finding out that they put antlers on their car for the holidays.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Whoever is dating my ex, all I can say is: cheat first!

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

Welcome to Twitter, where people never let their lack of knowledge get in the way of expressing a strong opinion.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not. It will never bring you true happiness or fulfillment. Also, it’s a felony.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

When I die and y’all go through my search history, you’ll be disappointed to find mostly just definitions for very common words that I wasn’t sure I was using correctly.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

Please don’t take illegal substances. Or at least, don’t take MY illegal substances.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

Stay up till 4 a.m. one night, and your sleep schedule is ruined for the next 4 years.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

All my life lessons were learned by watching people who took my advice.

Just landed via Telegram:

I no longer need an alarm clock because I’m over 40 and have a bladder.

Freshly posted on Threads:

There’s nothing more satisfying than the little nap you have after hitting snooze on your alarm.

Spotted on Pinterest:

In your 20s, there will be an evil narcissist demon disguised as the man of your dreams. It’s important that you run from that loser before he steals your light.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I ordered a new umbrella on Amazon and had it delivered straight to the lost and found office to maximize efficiency.

Breaking via Threads:

Our parents just don’t know how far we rode the bikes when we were young.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

IP address? You mean the bathroom?

Just shared via TikTok:

If your coffee shop has a passive-aggressive ‘no Wi-Fi, pretend it’s the old days’ sign, I’m gonna smoke in there and pay 50 cents for coffee.

Trending via Snapchat:

I believe in Bigfoot because Bigfoot believes in me.

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