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Commentary:
"Looks like you've got a serious case of love fever, and there's no cure! 😂❤️ Time to enjoy the addictive side effects of romance! 💕 #GoogleDiagnosis"

addicted, Google, googled, humor, i, joke, just, love, relationship, symptoms

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73 shares on Pinterest this month:

It’s unfortunate that scrubbing the floors on your hands and knees is so much more effective than mopping.

87 shares on TikTok this month:

Honestly, will never top the year I told everyone I was going to be Amelia Earhart for Halloween, and then didn’t show up to the party.

83 shares on Pinterest this month:

Skinning your knee as an adult is so humiliating. That’s the toddler injury.

88 shares on X this month:

I find it hard to believe I used to just answer my phone when it rang. No caller ID. No idea who was calling. Just picked it up and said “hello” like a goddam daredevil.

71 shares on X this month:

My teen is asking for noise-cancelling headphones like I’m going to give him the gift of ignoring me better.

14 shares on TikTok this month:

If you’re alone on Thanksgiving, venmo me $25 and I’ll call and ask you when are you gonna get a “real” job and give me grandchildren.

96 shares on WeChat this month:

Sorry that I cannot come out drinking with you tonight, as I will be drinking at home. Alone. By myself.

30 shares on Twitch this month:

I always set two alarms, one for “Good Intentions Me” and one for “The Real Me”

41 shares on YouTube this month:

As you get older, nothing loses its sting more than an authority figure saying they are disappointed in you. Like, I don’t know what to tell you, dude, we can’t both live in the prison of your expectations.

41 shares on Threads this month:

Think about how many more lovers you’d have if a cross country high-speed rail existed. That’s what they are taking away from you.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

My doctor told me “good luck” and gave me finger guns, so obviously I’m dying.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

Remember you are dust and, after you send this email, to dust you shall return.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Sharpening pencils at the bin was the biggest link-up.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

Before they perfected the Q-tip, you have to wonder what kinds of horrific things went wrong with tips A-P.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

Hosting Thanksgiving? Bring up politics so everyone will leave early.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

Jackie Chan used to say “I don’t want trouble“ and then break everybody’s legs.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

Back to the Future and chill?

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

With great power comes a huge electric bill.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Apparently I lack empathy, according to some stupid cow in HR.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

First date idea: we walk around a graveyard and guess how people died.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Slack:

Genuinely, why does the logo of every AI chatbot look like a butthole?

Trending via Snapchat:

They should invent a person for me and me only.

Shared recently on Discord:

French fries are like the lifeboats on the Titanic. They never give you enough.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

High school crushes were crazy because, why the hell was I running all over school just to catch a glimpse of him.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Some parents are blessed with amazing kids and others have kids that decide to learn the trumpet.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Whoever invented the gender reveal party needs to be launched into the sun.

Shared recently on Reddit:

When a man is a good cook, that cancels out like three red flags.

Making waves on Slack:

“Ooh, you’ve caught the sun.” Translation: You look like you’ve been swimming in a volcano.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I’ll never understand people who go through self-checkout line and slowly and carefully scan their items. This line is for stealing.

Just landed via Instagram:

Pretty cool that we all come together on Christmas and celebrate the birth of Santa.

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Activity Log ✨

So I just googled my symptoms, turns out I’m addicted to you.

David Attenborough narrating my life: “He’s still sleeping.”

No, they’re not “symptoms of depressions.” They’re Blue’s Clues.

If this meeting were any slower, it’d be a landscape painting.

Donuts have holes in them, just like acoustic guitars, but that’s pretty much where the similarities end.

The “-ification” essay pandemic.

Fun fact: a person’s music taste can actually tell their intelligence level.

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Trending Topics 📁

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

So I just googled my symptoms, turns out I’m addicted to you.

Keep the laugh going 😂

David Attenborough narrating my life: “He’s still sleeping.”

No, they’re not “symptoms of depressions.” They’re Blue’s Clues.

If this meeting were any slower, it’d be a landscape painting.

Donuts have holes in them, just like acoustic guitars, but that’s pretty much where the similarities end.

The “-ification” essay pandemic.

Fun fact: a person’s music taste can actually tell their intelligence level.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨