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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

My toxic trait is that I give my friends mental health advice when I belong in an asylum.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

The greatest trick ever was making people feel more connected, when they are actually more alone than ever.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

I’m super lazy today. It’s like normal lazy but I’m wearing a cape.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

You think you’ve seen gold diggers, until you see a male friend group where only one of them made it.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

Jesus invited prostitutes to dinner and was praised for compassion. I do it, and suddenly I ‘made Christmas awkward.’

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

I’m the friend who shows up with a shovel and an alibi.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

People are too casual about the fact that parrots can talk.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

If I was pregnant and people asked when I was due, I would say “What do you mean?”

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

I am at my Thanksgiving table observing personality disorders that have not been identified yet.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

Took a personality test and the results just said “uh-oh”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,694

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

I will marry a man who treats me delicately as if I’m a gift straight from heaven.

Seen just now on Slack:

Having a bathroom switch outside a bathroom and a sibling is a bad combination.

Seen just now on Instagram:

First caveman to see fire: Well, this is a buncha bullshit that no one needs (stomps it out) and I predict that’s the last I’ll ever see of that.

Shared recently on TikTok:

(lost in the labyrinth and I’m wearing a Fitbit) Nice, got my 10,000 steps.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

We can do things one of two ways. My way or my other way.

Just landed via Reddit:

You guys can continue with the week, I’ve stopped here.

Going bananas on Slack:

I’ve added lunges to my workout routine. It’s a big step forward.

Just shared via Instagram:

I don’t flirt, I just say weird things and hope something sticks.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I used to schedule naps, but now they’re little surprise parties my body throws at all hours of the day.

Spotted on Telegram:

If I turned into a “teen wolf”, my first order of business would definitely be helping my basketball team get to the local championships.

So stupid how New York is actually as cool as everyone says.

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Commentary:
Trying to find NYC's flaws is like searching for a Wi-Fi signal in a basement—good luck with that! 🗽😂📶

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

99 shares on Slack this month:

If you smoke pot in Saudi Arabia, you risk getting stoned.

42 shares on Facebook this month:

After much deliberation, I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m an overthinker.

88 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m not even doomscrolling anymore; I’m just regular scrolling, and everything’s doomed.

60 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Stretching isn’t enough. I need to be able to disassemble my body like Legos.

49 shares on Slack this month:

I hope this email blows your head smoove off.

97 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You don’t know about stupidity until your female friends open up about their love life.

32 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Dear algorithm, only show this post to the most attractive and successful people.

26 shares on Messenger this month:

I hate to slut-shame, but a lot of you are not slutty enough.

94 shares on Twitch this month:

Why can’t they use deep fake technology for good instead of evil? Like taking Zoom meetings for you, stuff like that.

82 shares on Pinterest this month:

You gotta be careful: don’t say a word to nobody about nothing anytime ever.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I knew the date was going well when we shared a glass of gravy with two straws.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m eating for two; me and the person I strive to be.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Establish dominance at work by telling your coworkers they look tired before they get a chance to say it to you.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

If Twitter has taught me anything, a lot of us aren’t ready for a spelling bee.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

That stupid look on my face is my face.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Never forget that your fave celebs were trying to sell you cartoon monkey pictures during a pandemic.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

“Those tattoos will make it harder to get a job!” Okay, well so will my personality.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t believe there was a time in my life when someone had to make me take a nap.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Not photogenic, but I probably look soooo good as a distant memory.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Life is so exciting. I was in my bedroom and now I’m in the living room. Who knows where I’ll go next.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,523

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

Maybe the reason Miss Piggy is still single is she has a fear of kermitment.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

I was going to buy my wife a car for Christmas but then I remembered I don’t live in a commercial.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

What’s wrong with the people who come to visit on Sundays? Don’t they have a couch?

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

The only exercise I done last month was running out of money.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

I think I may need professional help. A chef, a butler and a maid should do it!

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Welcome to your 40s. Your ability to be sneaky will now be hindered by your bones cracking when you walk.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

The older I get, the more I love my morning coffee and no one speaking to me.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

When I said there’s no such thing as a dumb question, I didn’t expect them to take it as a personal challenge.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

Who decided that “microwaves that beep forever” was a feature we needed.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Welcome to your 40s: that “teenager”over there is actually 27.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Reddit:

Eight times a day, I ask myself which object in the office will hurt me enough so that I can go home, but at the same time won’t hurt too much.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Since emojis have been around, I finally have a rough idea of how women feel when they don’t know what to wear.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Rental car companies seem so insanely helpless at their one job. You show up at the airport, reservation in hand, and they’re like, ‘Wait, really? You wanted a car? Sorry, you totally caught me off guard.’

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Commenting “what about us?” on all Valentine pics this year.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Oh, him? He’s my insignificant other.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Calling the police when someone unfollows.

Seen just now on Telegram:

If you live in the same hemisphere as me, you’ve probably already heard me sneeze.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Fun fact: Malcolm X was not his birth name. He was originally Malcolm Twitter.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Many men also have a walk-in closet. For them, it’s just called a floor.

Just shared via Discord:

Not commenting on your girl’s stuff is weird. I want my man barking in my comments.

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