Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Welcome to Twitter: yeah, none of us can sleep either.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

Cops wake up Christmas morning excited as hell to ignore their family and go sit on the highway with a radar gun for 10 hours.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

The people who upload old movies to the internet are holding society together.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

Childbirth seems like an awful lot of work for an already saturated market.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

Adult friendships are like, “hey girl, let’s keep rescheduling to hangout until one of us dies.”

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

Some people are like wallpaper… same pattern repeating every time.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

Every time I blink, it’s Monday again. I can’t live like this.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

Hey, wanna intertwine delusions and make them a reality or nah?

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

I have consumed so much potato salad the last couple of days, I’m sweating mayo.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Why do men have birthdays? It’s not like they’re growing up.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,960

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

Aliens are coming to Earth, people are going to the Moon, and I am still pushing on a door that says pull.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

My toxic trait is consistently cutting off the resealable part of the bag of frozen vegetables.

Just landed via Threads:

Imagine thinking you have all the answers.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Why does tiredness on the couch not follow me to the bed?

Seen just now on Messenger:

I miss the old days back in the 70s, when I didn’t exist.

Making waves on Reddit:

Pretty cool that we all come together on Christmas and celebrate the birth of Santa.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

You should be able to donate somebody else’s body to science.

Spotted on Twitch:

People always ask me why there’s a chair in my shower. Who the hell eats breakfast standing up?

Going bananas on TikTok:

Sorry, I can’t come over tonight. I’ve become too invested in these fictional characters and whether or not they will kiss.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Telling your parents about your problems is like adding another problem to your life.

So stupid how New York is actually as cool as everyone says.

4 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Trying to find NYC's flaws is like searching for a Wi-Fi signal in a basement—good luck with that! 🗽😂📶

actually, city, cool, everyone, humor, new, New York, opinion, sarcasm, stupid, york

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Writing ‘thanks.’ instead of ‘thanks!’ so you know I’m mad.

0

2 months ago

communication, humor, know, mad, sarcasm, thanks, tone, writing
8 planets, 204 countries, thousands of islands, 7 seas, 8 billion people, and I’m single.

0

2 months ago

country, dating, humor, island, loneliness, people, person, planet, relationship, sea, single
Now that Christmas and New Year are out of the way, we can focus on the things that really matter: My posts.

0

2 months ago

celebration, Christmas, focus, humor, matter, new, new year, posts, priorities, self-promotion, things, year
I am dressing for the job I want. I want to be a sweatpants model.

0

2 months ago

am, aspiration, dressing, fashion, humor, i, job, model, sweatpants, want
Men become instantly more attractive when they wear aviators; it’s science.

0

2 months ago

attractive, attractiveness, aviator, confidence, fashion, humor, men, science, wear
Hiccups became less popular. I never hear people hiccuping anymore. What’s going on there?

0

2 months ago

change, curiosity, everyday, everyday life, going, health, hear, hiccup, humor, i, less, life, modern, modern life, never, observation, people, popular

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

30 shares on Reddit this month:

Normalize asking if this is an intervention whenever someone invites you over.

73 shares on Snapchat this month:

Nobody ever talks about how Sodom and Gomorrah were walkable cities.

76 shares on Instagram this month:

A thousand curses upon anyone who has ever gone, “Why are you sitting in the dark?” and then flipped the light on without asking.

39 shares on Slack this month:

It’s funny how you can annoy unhappy people by remaining calm.

41 shares on TikTok this month:

Why is experimental noise music always scary metallic noises and never fun sounds like people clapping and laughing and like bubbles and stuff?

88 shares on Twitch this month:

People complain about jury duty as if listening to true crime all day and being sequestered at night isn’t secretly every mother’s fantasy.

10 shares on Slack this month:

My favorite pastime is staying up way later than I should and complaining the next day about how tired I am.

33 shares on YouTube this month:

Next time you think I am flirting with you, ask yourself if kindness is so rare in your life that you mistake it for desire.

30 shares on Discord this month:

I found a box of VHS tapes. I’m a bit nervous about the one that has the label torn off.

25 shares on TikTok this month:

I called the cops on my own party once because I was ready to go to bed.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

People who remember to drink water, what’s that like?

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

I like to listen to the national anthems during the award ceremonies. I’m into country music.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

I love ordering things online because when they arrive it’s like a present from me to me.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

Billion dollar technology idea: A printer that works.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Honestly, shopping beats therapy, anytime. It costs the same and you get a dress out of it.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

Giving out false information so I know who the leak is.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

So tonight me and my phone are playing hide and seek. So far my phone is winning.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

If you take a social media sabbatical, don’t announce it. Just make your last post something fun like “I wonder if there’s a bear in this cave?”

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

Posing for photos has to be the most basic thing I’m actually terrible at.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

You had me at “We’ll make it look like an accident.”

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

My dream is being pitted against the world’s greatest AI in a writing contest and crafting a story that’s so beautiful that I make the computer cry.

Shared recently on Discord:

Who needs a weighted blanket when you’ve got the weight of the world?

Making waves on Snapchat:

The only thing that has grown faster than rents in recent years is the overtime we have to work to pay them.

Just landed via Facebook:

Just did a seductive hair flip and an onion ring flew out.

Going viral on WeChat:

Does everyone have that one colleague at work who puts you in a bad mood just by looking at them?

Just shared via Messenger:

I’m not saying I’m old, but when I was in school, we made our parents ashtrays for Christmas.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Everyone’s a gangster until they have to say sorry.

Spotted on TikTok:

It’s all fun and games until your jeans don’t fit any more.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Walking on egg shells? In this economy?

Making waves on Reddit:

No, I’m not stressed. I just constantly grind my teeth and clench my jaw for fun.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

So stupid how New York is actually as cool as everyone says.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Writing ‘thanks.’ instead of ‘thanks!’ so you know I’m mad.

8 planets, 204 countries, thousands of islands, 7 seas, 8 billion people, and I’m single.

Now that Christmas and New Year are out of the way, we can focus on the things that really matter: My posts.

I am dressing for the job I want. I want to be a sweatpants model.

Men become instantly more attractive when they wear aviators; it’s science.

Hiccups became less popular. I never hear people hiccuping anymore. What’s going on there?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨