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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

My thighs are bigger than my chances in life.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

I changed my alarm clock sound to an applause, it’s the least I deserve for waking up at 7am.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

My boyfriend moved in with me straight from Hotel Mama. In a way, I’m now a single parent.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

My sex life is so dead, it has its own tombstone.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

Getting stoned when you have a cat is awesome because it will just walk in and I’m immediately cracking up. Like, look at this dude, I bloody love this guy.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

I just heard someone refer to Texas as “Howdy Arabia” and I still haven’t stopped laughing.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

Telling your parents about your problems is like adding another problem to your life.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

What are some beginner bad habits for someone just getting into ruining their life?

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Of course, a wife can complain to her mother-in-law. She has every right to complain to the manufacturer.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

The single star on Texas’ flag is actually a review.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

21 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,290

Funny Quotes Topics

17,410

Funny Quotes Images

15,290

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,716

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

For someone who loves to sleep so much, you’d think I’d go to bed earlier.

Going viral on TikTok:

Accept who you are. Unless you’re a serial killer.

Seen just now on WeChat:

That awkward moment when you’ve said “What?” three times, so you just say “Oh, yeah..” even though you have no idea what they said.

Spotted on Reddit:

Just worked out for 2 hours straight and 1 hour gay.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Everytime I spend $20 I think this is fine because I won’t do it again. And then would you believe.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

We work all week to work some more around the house all weekend long. Isn’t life grand?

Just shared via Snapchat:

Okay, this integrity isn’t going to compromise itself.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

“Grey” is a better spelling than “gray” because “e” is a greyer letter than “a.” I will not elaborate.

Live now on Telegram:

I hate when people say “It could be worse” because it could be better, too.

Some days you feel like you’re surrounded by idiots, other days you realize it’s not just some days.

2 months ago

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Commentary:
"Who needs a clown car when you've got the office? 🤡🚗😂"

daily, daily life, days, feel, frustration, humor, idiots, just, life, perspective, realize, relatability, sarcasm, self-awareness, surrounded

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

She said she liked animals but apparently all the fruit flies around my apartment was a “turn off”

0

2 months ago

animals, apartment, date, fly, fruit, fruit fly, humor, pest, relationship, turn, turn off
Bartender asked me to give his place a one-star Google review to keep the vibe lowkey. Insane method.

0

3 weeks ago

asked, bar, bartender, give, Google, google review, humor, insane, keep, lowkey, me, method, one-star, place, prank, review, vibe
Parallel parking: where true relationships are tested!

0

3 months ago

challenge, couple, driving, humor, parallel, parallel parking, parking, relationship, relationships, stress, test, tested, true, where
Just once, I want a username and password prompt to say: “Close Enough.”

0

2 months ago

close, computer, computer joke, enough, humor, i, interface, joke, just, login, once, password, relatable, say, tech, tech humor, user, user interface, want
You don’t even have to date, by the way. You can just take a break from love and then randomly meet the actual love of your life somewhere you weren’t even supposed to be.

0

3 weeks ago

actual, break, date, even, humor, just, life, love, meet, meeting, relationship, somewhere, take, unexpected, unexpected meeting
At what point is a salad no longer a salad based on how much bacon I add?

0

2 months ago

bacon, cooking, diet, food, humor, i, point, question, salad

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

10 shares on X this month:

Never understood why people train their dogs to sit pretty or roll over when there are useful tricks like empty the dishwasher or fold the laundry.

80 shares on Pinterest this month:

I never get as envious of parents as I do when their baby starts crying and they get to leave the event.

28 shares on Telegram this month:

When is this robot army coming to take my job?

74 shares on TikTok this month:

Old age is like a glorious, extended long weekend, but you always know Monday’s coming.

24 shares on Reddit this month:

You can tell it’s desperate times the way spam messages have gone from fantasies like ‘I am a prince and I want to give you money’ to ‘I am an HR manager and I have a real job for you!’

59 shares on Discord this month:

Okay, fall, I see you showing a lil’ leg.

72 shares on YouTube this month:

Just a friendly reminder folks. Don’t forget to set back your rooster this weekend.

46 shares on Slack this month:

My morning coffee makes me feel like I’ve got my shit together. I don’t, but it makes me feel like I do.

71 shares on TikTok this month:

“What’s your blood type?” I don’t know, boiling!

66 shares on Telegram this month:

I’ve touched enough cacti to know they are sharp, but also not enough to stop touching cacti.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

Guess I’ll be getting the same thing for Christmas, again. Fat!

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

Ugh, those red and blue flashing lights are interfering with my driving and scrolling.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

I will not stop replying with gifs. I am a Millennial, it’s my birthright.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

Apologies for the late response, instead of spending three minutes answering your email, I ignored it and felt anxious for two weeks.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

A good audiobook will have you inventing chores to do.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

“Never let someone else destroy your stuff when you can destroy it yourself”, every kid I ever.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

I want to have a penguin that just waddles up to me whenever I’m sad.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

Ghost stories sound way scarier with an English accent.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

You’re so productive for your wage.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

I did 30 minutes of chores, time for a 7-hour break.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

Car rides by yourself with loud music… they’re good for the soul.

Just shared via Messenger:

Zoom is really only for one thing: realizing our dream of staring at ourselves while talking to other people.

Just landed via Instagram:

I don’t think you all understand. If Taylor Swift didn’t have a private jet, she’d be Taylor Slow.

Freshly posted on Slack:

If I’m wrongly accused of a crime, I’m going to prison. I’m way too introverted to have an alibi.

Just landed via WeChat:

Having a daughter is like having a little broke best friend who thinks you’re rich.

Seen just now on X:

Can’t. Calling out some bullshitters on some bullshit.

Live now on YouTube:

If she has Bukowski on her nightstand, she will devour you.

Seen just now on Slack:

I want whatever the people who run at 6 a.m. have.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

I support Bluesky in theory, but in practice, it’s like a JRPG with no bad guys.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Some days you feel like you’re surrounded by idiots, other days you realize it’s not just some days.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

She said she liked animals but apparently all the fruit flies around my apartment was a “turn off”

Bartender asked me to give his place a one-star Google review to keep the vibe lowkey. Insane method.

Parallel parking: where true relationships are tested!

Just once, I want a username and password prompt to say: “Close Enough.”

You don’t even have to date, by the way. You can just take a break from love and then randomly meet the actual love of your life somewhere you weren’t even supposed to be.

At what point is a salad no longer a salad based on how much bacon I add?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨