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Commentary:
"Feeling like a hotel microwave: all that potential, but in reality, just a warm and forgettable presence 🍿💥 Just waiting for someone to hit the 'start' button on life! 🔌 #MicrowaveMood"

days, do nothing, energy, feel, feeling, here, hotel, humor, just, lazy, microwave, nothing, power, relatable

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m at the age where I’m more likely to fall asleep at the movie theater than get frisky in one.

0

4 weeks ago

age, asleep, fall, fall asleep, frisky, humor, movie, movie theater, relationship, theater, where
I don’t understand why my cooking was garbage. I did everything right. I drank wine while I cooked. I had a hand towel over my shoulder. Literally everything right.

0

4 months ago

cooking, cooking fail, drank, everything, fail, garbage, hand, hand towel, humor, i, kitchen, literally, over, right, shoulder, towel, understand, while, why, wine
Everyone says “Do what makes you happy”, until you push them down the stairs.

0

2 months ago

consequences, dark, dark humor, everyone, expectation, happiness, happy, humor, irony, push, stairs
Vacations are expensive, but how else could you put a price tag on your kids being ungrateful in a different city.

0

6 months ago

being, city, different, else, expense, expensive, family, humor, kid, kids, parenting, price, price tag, put, tag, travel, ungrateful, vacation
Wearing shorts and my pale legs screamed at the sensation of sunlight like vampires.

0

2 months ago

clothing, humor, leg, legs, pale, pale leg, sensation, shorts, summer, sunlight, vampire, vampires
Good morning to everyone except my baby, who already said good morning to me at 1 a.m., 3 a.m., and 5:46 a.m.

0

2 months ago

3, am, awake, baby, early, early hours, everyone, except, exhaustion, good, hours, humor, me, morning, parenthood, sleep

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

25 shares on WeChat this month:

Juggling screen time is the ultimate multitasking Olympics.

15 shares on Reddit this month:

Welcome to your 40s, you now respond to every younger person telling you their age with “Jesus Christ”.

20 shares on Pinterest this month:

My therapist said this to me, and it hit me like a brick: “They’re not your friends if they disagree with you or try to challenge you.”

79 shares on WeChat this month:

You may think no one is there for you, but there’s laundry. Laundry is always there for you.

12 shares on Slack this month:

I asked Tom Hanks for his autograph, but all he wrote was thanks.

100 shares on Messenger this month:

I can relate to America, because I too am about to enter a depression.

42 shares on Twitch this month:

I lost my appetite for doing work. If you find it, you can keep it.

55 shares on TikTok this month:

Forgetting how to clean the dishes and shooting them with a gun.

53 shares on Facebook this month:

Anyone who thinks being a pessimist isn’t any fun fails to appreciate the joy of saying, ‘I told you so.’

91 shares on Messenger this month:

Pro tip: Avoid the news for a couple of days and have some fun.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Sex before marriage is a sin unless you do it doggy style, because all dogs go to heaven. Follow me for more biblical loopholes.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

When the blood pressure machine comes out for one person, the whole family has to get involved.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

A haunted house, but it’s just a room full of people asking you to tell them a fun fact about yourself.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

Whoever named them fitting rooms has a lot of nerve.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

No we can’t hangout, you’ll end up falling in love with me and I don’t have time for that.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

My dream is being pitted against the world’s greatest AI in a writing contest and crafting a story that’s so beautiful that I make the computer cry.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

Life is full of questions. Idiots are full of answers.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

Inventor of pink lemonade: yes, exactly the same, but cute and for the girls.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

Fruit and vegetables expire faster when you’re the one paying for them.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

Scrolling… good take… bad take… nothing take… cyberbullying… beautiful woman.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

“You’re like cherry lip gloss. I just can’t get enough.”

Spotted on TikTok:

Why call it a “step dad” when you could have called it a faux pas?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Some days you just feel like a hotel microwave. You’re here, but you don’t have enough power to actually do anything.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I’m at the age where I’m more likely to fall asleep at the movie theater than get frisky in one.

I don’t understand why my cooking was garbage. I did everything right. I drank wine while I cooked. I had a hand towel over my shoulder. Literally everything right.

Everyone says “Do what makes you happy”, until you push them down the stairs.

Vacations are expensive, but how else could you put a price tag on your kids being ungrateful in a different city.

Wearing shorts and my pale legs screamed at the sensation of sunlight like vampires.

Good morning to everyone except my baby, who already said good morning to me at 1 a.m., 3 a.m., and 5:46 a.m.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨