Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

I changed my password to ‘incorrect’ so whenever I forget it, the computer tells me it’s incorrect, and I’m like, ‘Wow, you didn’t have to be so rude about it.’

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

Ignored the small door that appeared in my apartment three days ago, and now it’s gone. That’s how it’s done.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

Someone should bite my inner thighs just to see what type of noises I make. For science.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

Have a good weekend, unless you have other plans.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

How great is it to do absolutely nothing and follow it up by taking a rest.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

Hell hath no fury like a sports bra being applied to a just showered but not 100% dry body.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

They say money can’t buy happiness, but could someone just give me a lot of it and let me see for myself?

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Spotify has got it all wrong, the hottest single of the year is me.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

When I was a little kid, I used to think, “This little pig went to market,” meant it was going shopping!

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

Have nothing to say, I just wanted to appear in your newsfeed.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

296 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,565

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,565

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,347

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Twitch:

I miss having that butterfly feeling. People give me roach vibes at this point.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

It sucks when you realize it’s only Thursday, until you realize it’s only Wednesday.

Trending via Pinterest:

My husband and I are doing a workshop. He works and I’ll shop.

Going viral on Telegram:

I’m already far too stressed as it is. And then you also have to have time to just sit there and do nothing.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I want to be like a caterpillar. Eat a lot, sleep for a while, and then wake up beautiful.

Trending via Slack:

I like when I walk with people and they note that I’m a fast walker. We’re in a race. We’re in a race and you’re losing actually.

Spotted on Discord:

The more I parent the more convinced I am that the ears on toddlers are purely for decoration.

Just landed via Instagram:

My doctor just diagnosed me with anxiety and constipation. Now I’m worried shitless.

Live now on Facebook:

Senility is the pits. Spent an hour driving around the mall parking lot looking for my car.

Just shared via X:

I like to listen to the national anthems during the award ceremonies. I’m into country music.

Some people are like wallpaper… same pattern repeating every time.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Like a human screensaver on repeat! 😂🖼️🔁

comparison, every, humor, pattern, people, personality, repetition, same, time, wallpaper

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I asked my doctor if I’m healthy enough for sex and he told me I’m not even sexy enough for health.

2 months ago

asked, doctor, even, health, healthy, humor, i, joke, me, sex, sexy, told
If men didn’t exist, I would simply go for a 2 a.m. walk every night and listen to music in my AirPods.

4 months ago

2, AirPods, am, every, exist, humor, i, late, late night, listen, men, music, night, relaxation, simply, solitude, walk
Not the sharpest cheddar on the charcuterie board.

2 months ago

board, charcuterie, cheddar, cleverness, food, humor, intelligence, joke, wit
You don’t need to be a good listener as long as you’re a good nodder.

2 months ago

communication, good, humor, irony, listener, listening, need, nodding, sarcasm, skills, social, social skills
Living with a dog is 90% following each other around, watching each other go potty, and wondering what the other has in their mouth.

2 months ago

90, animal, animal behavior, around, behavior, companionship, daily, daily life, dog, following, humor, life, living, living with pet, mouth, owner, pet, pet owner, watching, wondering
Ripped a tag off my leggings and did not realize it was load-bearing.

2 months ago

fashion, humor, leggings, load-bearing, mishap, mistake, realize, tag

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

13 shares on Threads this month:

Parenthood is so crazy. We’re really out here getting bullied by the people we made.

37 shares on Slack this month:

The delivery guy absolutely hates it when I call him my pizza mule.

63 shares on YouTube this month:

Hey girl, do you like my signals? I mixed them myself.

66 shares on X this month:

Don’t let the fact that I’m deeply unserious distract you from the fact that you’re in the presence of a genius.

85 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Everyone has their talents. Mine is picking the checkout line filled with people who apparently have never gone through a checkout line before in their life.

100 shares on Reddit this month:

Ummmm, no, I don’t watch ‘Instagram Reels.’ I have TikTok. I like to get my brain damage directly from the original source.

38 shares on Discord this month:

Kid, I have jeans older than you.

75 shares on Facebook this month:

You’re telling me this moron’s on oxy.

43 shares on TikTok this month:

One thing about me is I don’t even need to get drunk to act a fool.

51 shares on Snapchat this month:

“Got milk?” Buddy, I don’t even have self-esteem.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

Funny thing about zombie movies – they never seem to go after the cameraman.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

“Never let someone else destroy your stuff when you can destroy it yourself”, every kid I ever.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

Can’t, I’m raging against the machine.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Welcome, new followers! It’s all downhill from here.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

My parents didn’t raise me to order something expensive when someone else is paying.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

Please be delicate with me, I’m built like a Nature Valley bar.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

Never go to bed angry. Stay up and finish the argument like an adult.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

Donnie Darko was also ahead of its time because the guy’s haunted by a giant Labubu.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

I haven’t cleaned my shower in so long, it’s becoming a terrarium. Absolutely gorgeous.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Don’t tell me that everything was better in the past. I was there.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Discord:

I’m clumsy but there are upsides. For example, if I finish my chips and I’m sad there’s no more chips, I look in my lap and I always find chips.

Seen just now on Reddit:

The longest drum solo was 10 hours and 26 minutes and was performed by the child sitting behind me on a flight from LA to Tokyo.

Spotted on Threads:

Gonorrhea would’ve been a great name for diarrhea medicine.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Keep posting, I’m diagnosing you.

Trending via WeChat:

On the internet it’s super easy to take credit for stuff you had nothing to do with. That’s why I invented it.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Bro, you will never rewatch that 7-minute video you took of fireworks. Just live in the moment.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Sometimes you show up to work, and they just torture you for hours.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

After smartphones, we never got pictures of Bigfoot anymore. You know why? That’s right: 5G killed all the Bigfoots.

Seen just now on Threads:

I don’t understand the phrase “You can’t have your cake and eat it” because if I have cake, what the hell else am I supposed to do with it.

Going viral on Messenger:

Honk shuah. Sleep on that thang!

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Some people are like wallpaper… same pattern repeating every time.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I asked my doctor if I’m healthy enough for sex and he told me I’m not even sexy enough for health.

If men didn’t exist, I would simply go for a 2 a.m. walk every night and listen to music in my AirPods.

Not the sharpest cheddar on the charcuterie board.

You don’t need to be a good listener as long as you’re a good nodder.

Living with a dog is 90% following each other around, watching each other go potty, and wondering what the other has in their mouth.

Ripped a tag off my leggings and did not realize it was load-bearing.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨