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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

Genuinely nothing worse than going bowling with people who are actually good. Like, why are you doing all that?

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

Worst thing about cutting off all your hair is you go to work and everyone treats you like Today’s Special Boy.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

If the universe is continuing to expand then why does my rent keep going up?

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

So I just keep making dinner? Every night of my life? For forever?

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

Boys are disgusting. Can’t believe I like these things.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

The problem with hiding snacks from my kid is that when I forget, they end up being hidden from me too.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

I used to think I was indecisive, but I’m not so sure anymore.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

494 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,087

Funny Quotes Topics

17,241

Funny Quotes Images

15,087

Updated

Dec 19, 2025

Users Online

3,875

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Messenger:

I love putting on warm underwear fresh out of the dryer. Plus, it’s fun to look around the laundromat and guess who they belong to.

Live now on Snapchat:

The cost of living has gotten so high, I’m thinking about having a nap for dinner.

Spotted on Threads:

Normalise following up to an ignored email with “helllooooooo?”

Spotted on Threads:

Not much is worse than that feeling of going back to work after a lunch, or a vacation, or just going to work in general.

Trending via Reddit:

She doesn’t want flowers, she wants to invoke an ancient curse.

Just shared via Reddit:

80 percent of my life now is just “hmmmm… should I bring my jacket or not?”

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Naming my first daughter Piggleigh Wiggleigh.

Some people’s high horses are actually donkeys.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Riding high on a donkey, but still trying to look majestic! 🐴✨😂"

actually, arrogance, donkey, high, high horse, horse, horses, humility, humor, humor quote, sarcasm, satire

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My last husband’s name is Don. I just added an E to it and walked away.

1 month ago

Don, humor, husband, i, joke, just, last, name, relationship, walk, wordplay
You know it’s been a successful Thanksgiving when your clothes no longer fit.

1 month ago

celebration, clothes, family, fit, food, humor, know, longer, overeating, success, successful, Thanksgiving
I’ve started dating myself exclusively but it’s not working out.

2 months ago

date, dating, exclusivity, humor, joke, myself, relationship, self, self-love, working
I wonder how many calories I can burn petting my cat.

1 month ago

burn, calorie, cat, exercise, fitness, humor, i, pet, petting, relaxation, wonder
Why is no one talking about the sheer pleasure of coming home from vacation and using your own bathroom.

1 month ago

bathroom, comfort, coming, home, own, pleasure, sheer, talking, using, vacation, why
Love when people summon Grok and there’s no reply. He just doesn’t care sometimes.

4 days ago

care, grok, humor, indifference, just, love, people, personification, reply, sometimes, summon

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

Welcome to your senior years, where you get mad when they rearrange the grocery store.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

That awkward moment when someone keeps watching you while you are eating.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

Sometimes our greatest achievement in life is being able to survive our own thoughts.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

It’s been a pleasure miscommunicating with you.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

Forget mini pizzas. I want one so big it needs a forklift to rotate it.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

Every Jurassic Park movie should end with an insurance adjuster getting a phone call and immediately throwing up.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

It’s never too early to start making bad decisions.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on YouTube:

Worst part of a corporate job is no tips. Someone should slip you a $20 if you write a killer email.

Just shared via Instagram:

I never though I’d be the kind of person who wakes up early to exercise. I was right.

Going viral on Threads:

When the past calls, don’t answer it. It has nothing new to tell you.

Seen just now on Threads:

Dogs are man’s best friend because a dog would never blindside you with a group chat.

Shared recently on Slack:

If I ever went to jail for murder, it would be for murdering my printer.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Grateful to be living in the “Tetris when it’s going too fast and blocks are helplessly piling up” era of human history.

Trending via Facebook:

Just blocked someone for correcting my spelling and it feelded great.

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Activity Log ✨

Some people’s high horses are actually donkeys.

My last husband’s name is Don. I just added an E to it and walked away.

You know it’s been a successful Thanksgiving when your clothes no longer fit.

I’ve started dating myself exclusively but it’s not working out.

I wonder how many calories I can burn petting my cat.

Why is no one talking about the sheer pleasure of coming home from vacation and using your own bathroom.

Love when people summon Grok and there’s no reply. He just doesn’t care sometimes.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I don’t abuse substances. I cherish and nurture them.

“I have a favourite hole”, me, at the pool table.

“Tom Cruise does his own stunts!” Okay cool, but so do I.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I’m at the age when riding around town, I say, “When did they build that?”

Don’t donate your plasma. It’s a big scam, and they’re just using it to make TVs.

I think my phone is broken. I pressed the home button, but I’m still at work.

Liking a song isn’t enough, I need to be able to call the artist and tell them they did a great job.

I feel bad for those that don’t enjoy their own company. I be having a ball by myself.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I was googling about the best time to visit the Maldives. It’s when you have money.

I like you because we hate the same people.

A fun thing to do at work is call in sick and stay home.

You told your cat how much you love him, but now it’s morning, the sun is out, you’re sober, and it’s just weird for both of you.

That moment you turn down the music while driving around looking for a street address, so you can see better.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Trust my gut? The thing that makes weird gurgling noises immediately when a work meeting goes quiet.

I would rather walk barefoot across a carpet made out of Legos than go to my high school reunion.

Even in my early 20’s, I was diagnosed with late stage 40’s.

I am at my Thanksgiving table observing personality disorders that have not been identified yet.

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Some people’s high horses are actually donkeys.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

My last husband’s name is Don. I just added an E to it and walked away.

You know it’s been a successful Thanksgiving when your clothes no longer fit.

I’ve started dating myself exclusively but it’s not working out.

I wonder how many calories I can burn petting my cat.

Why is no one talking about the sheer pleasure of coming home from vacation and using your own bathroom.

Love when people summon Grok and there’s no reply. He just doesn’t care sometimes.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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