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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

About four minutes into my run, I’ve decided I want to work on my personality instead.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Sorry I’m late — I was standing in the shower, thinking about stuff.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Someday I will make a sandwich that will change my life forever.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

My wife is pretty excited about going away this weekend so I’m not sure she knows I’m coming with her.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

The problem with leading by example is that no one pays attention.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

If my son ever came out as gay, I’d be so furious. Furious that he never gave me fashion advice.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

We should bring gargoyles back, more buildings need freaky little guys on them.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

I’m going to write a book about all the things I should have done with my life. l’ll call it my oughtabiography.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

I love being home and doing absolutely nothing and never contributing to society.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

Prime numbers are so cunty. Like okay, diva — only divisible by yourself?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

300 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,569

Funny Quotes Topics

17,627

Funny Quotes Images

15,569

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,286

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on YouTube:

Netflix subtitles be like “speaking foreign language”. Bro, translate it!

Making waves on TikTok:

I appreciate the interest, but I’m officially removing myself from the running to be the next James Bond. Thank you for your understanding.

Shared recently on Discord:

Funny that the Three Wise Men brought probably the three worst presents for a newborn baby.

Just landed via YouTube:

Cleaning your kid’s room will piss you off, cause why is my Airfryer in here?

Going viral on Instagram:

People always ask me “Do you believe in God?” and I say of course it’s important to have self-belief.

Just landed via Threads:

It’s like no one in my family appreciates that I stayed up all night overthinking for them.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

And where did Mr. Pepper receive his degree from exactly?

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I like running because it’s cheaper than paying for a gym membership. If the gym wants the money I owe them, they’ll have to catch me.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I’m only an introvert until I meet people worth extroverting with.

Live now on YouTube:

I’d rather throw everything I own in the trash than try to deal with people on Facebook Marketplace.

Some people’s high horses are actually donkeys.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Riding high on a donkey, but still trying to look majestic! 🐴✨😂"

actually, arrogance, donkey, high, high horse, horse, horses, humility, humor, humor quote, sarcasm, satire

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Spilling hot coffee on your lap wakes you up faster than drinking it.

3 months ago

caffeine, coffee, drinking, faster, hot, humor, irony, lap, morning, spill, wake
The art of letting whoever think whatever.

1 month ago

art, humor, letting, letting go, mindset, opinion, think, whatever
They should invent a day where it all works out.

3 months ago

day, humor, invent, invention, life, luck, optimism, should, where, wish, works
I don’t need to touch grass, I need to touch one million dollars cash.

2 months ago

aspiration, cash, desire, dollars, grass, humor, i, million, money, need, touch, wealth
Someday I’ll learn how to emotion like a proper human.

2 months ago

emotion, human, learn, learning, proper, someday
Some things are better left unsaid, which I usually realize after I say them.

2 months ago

after, better, communication, humor, i, irony, left, mistake, realize, regret, say, saying, silence, things, thoughts, unsaid

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

84 shares on YouTube this month:

I have information that will lead to where your hug is at.

61 shares on Reddit this month:

Cafeteria is a beautiful name for a baby girl.

78 shares on Discord this month:

But he was so nice on the prison phone calls.

72 shares on Slack this month:

The sexual tension between my tendency to do something stupid and my resolve not to.

13 shares on Instagram this month:

My doctor no longer prescribes me Viagra. He just left me hanging.

85 shares on Discord this month:

When exactly does wisdom kick in? I feel like I’m just getting older.

77 shares on X this month:

Superwoman: Single. Batman: Single. Wonder Woman: Single. I get it now, I’m single because I’m a superhero.

46 shares on Facebook this month:

Feeling like Floyd in this May weather (illiterate and violent).

88 shares on Facebook this month:

Tai Chi is so crazy because it’s like throwing a slow motion tantrum.

95 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Please don’t delete your post. Yes, it was pretty stupid, but my reply to it was a masterpiece.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

Tinder, but for nearby people that have a printer you can use.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

First date idea: unlock and switch phones with the other person for exactly two minutes and if no one is horrified then the date continues.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

The rain is pouring. So naturally it’s a good day to eat 6 donuts.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

Oh, him? He’s my insignificant other.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

I suffer from awesomnia.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

Nike: Just Do It! Me: I don’t want to.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

Twitter is the most fun you can have on the toilet.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

If you say “awesome sauce” on a first date, you’ll still have that lucky condom in your wallet tomorrow.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

It’s not a competition, but if it was I would win.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Probably always gonna be the weirdo that believes in magic.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Threads:

I miss my kids the most when they go to bed and the mosquitoes go after me because they have no other options.

Spotted on WeChat:

At the beginning of a relationship, people call their partner’s odd behavior “cute little quirks”. Some years later, the police call it “motive”.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Daylight savings is just a made up holiday to sell more daylight.

Breaking via YouTube:

If David Bowie taught us anything, it’s that being a little weird is better than being forgettable.

Going viral on Telegram:

My grandad fought Germans on the beaches of Normandy. This was last summer and it was very embarrassing.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I typed my name into Google’s search bar and it immediately auto-filled to “Doesn’t even listen to instructions” before crashing under the weight of disappointed search results.

Making waves on Twitch:

This post is invisible, and only those going to Hell can see it.

Going viral on WeChat:

You’ll be having a good day and then someone your age says they’re buying a house.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Sex is cool but have you ever had your bed all to yourself.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Some people’s high horses are actually donkeys.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Spilling hot coffee on your lap wakes you up faster than drinking it.

The art of letting whoever think whatever.

They should invent a day where it all works out.

I don’t need to touch grass, I need to touch one million dollars cash.

Someday I’ll learn how to emotion like a proper human.

Some things are better left unsaid, which I usually realize after I say them.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨