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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Shoutout to the friends that still like me. All two of you.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

My dream is to buy a horse and race it. The horse will probably beat me but it’ll still be fun.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

I don’t run from my problems. I sit on my couch, play on my phone, and ignore them like all other adults.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

Just blocked all the normal people, so if you see this… sup, weirdo.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

Shaved my bush and went down a pants size.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

If you don’t have a favorite spatula yet, you still have some growing up to do.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

Making things weird is probably the only thing I’m good at.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

I’m sick of blessings in disguise. I am ready for a blessing with absolutely no disguise whatsoever.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

Probably the most depressed I’ve ever been in my life, except for a bunch of other times.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

I know that we aren’t supposed to self diagnose but I’ve googled all of my symptoms and I’m fairly sure I’m a raccoon.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,492

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

Why would anyone ever jump OUT of a cake?

Seen just now on Slack:

At this point, if a clown invited me into the woods, I would just go.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Watching Jaws with my kid because I’m sick of going to the beach.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

If they can make a nuclear reactor small enough to power a submarine, why can’t they make one for my house?

Breaking via LinkedIn:

People that ask Grok “Is this true” are the reason our society is getting dumber by the minute.

Just landed via Reddit:

People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.

Just landed via Snapchat:

If we breakup because you “wanna focus on school,” I better see you in Harvard.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

If you’re having trouble finding the match to one of your socks, throw it away and the missing one will immediately show up. Follow me for more life hacks.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

It’s only 9am and I’ve already ruined my son’s entire life by giving him the banana with the brown spot on it.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

The government even made aliens boring.

Sometimes happiness is just having a good night’s sleep.

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Sometimes happiness is just having a good night’s sleep.
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Commentary:
Ah, the magical land of sleep, where problems get bored and leave! 😴✨😂

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

23 shares on Twitch this month:

Always be kind. You never know who has subscriptions to your favorite streaming apps.

98 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The toughest part of a diet isn’t watching what you eat. It’s watching what other people eat.

38 shares on Twitch this month:

It’s so hot out here, I saw a bird blowing on a worm before he ate it.

80 shares on Snapchat this month:

“Your sock has a hole in it!” Yeah, no shit, that’s how I get my foot in there.

75 shares on Facebook this month:

“Excuse me, are you gonna finish those fries?” Me, interrupting a couple fighting.

14 shares on Facebook this month:

I shall have another coffee, for I am sleeping standing.

31 shares on Pinterest this month:

Don’t give up, keep going. There are still so many disappointments waiting for you.

83 shares on X this month:

Eating dark chocolate is practically eating vegetables.

57 shares on TikTok this month:

Can’t believe my neighbor rang my doorbell at 3 a.m. last night… Luckily, I was still up playing the drums.

25 shares on WeChat this month:

Another Netflix price increase? Guess we’re only chilling now.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

The first thing you need to know about social media is that everyone’s on vacation, except for you.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

My back and I are definitely not the same age.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Does anyone else stare at the dead body in movies to see if you can catch them breathing?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Honey, get in the car. We have to go to the store because we’re retarded, and it’s Christmas Eve.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

The only thing that drains faster than my phone battery is my bank account.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to Twitter, someone from an unhappy home will attend to you shortly.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Gatekeeping how insanely handsome I am by looking like total shit all the time.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

The gap in my resume? Yeah, it’s called playing outside.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

So we have actual fact checkers who know all the facts? Why not create a TV channel where they just give us the facts? We could call it the News.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m sorry your man wears his sunglasses on the back of his head.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,288

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Another day without sex, but a mosquito just sucked on my neck and I moaned a little bit.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

The worst thing about having children is the parents of the other children.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

I’m only here to test your patience, but like, in a sexy way.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

The best way to contact me is to meet me in my dreams at 3 a.m.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

Santa has the right idea: only visit people once a year, eat a snack, leave early.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

Dogs can’t talk and everyone loves them. Coincidence? I think not.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

Not to brag, but my date returned after using the restroom.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

Nobody stresses a woman out more than a man who isn’t her man yet.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

I remember when my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? And I told him everyone knows he doesn’t hire stupid people.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

People out there having five-year plans, and here I am waking up just hoping I remember what day it is.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Telegram:

The day they handed out patience, I left because it was taking too long.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I googled my symptoms and it turns out I just need this election to be over.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Just caught a moth and sent it back outside. Feeling like Mr. Miyagi.

Trending via X:

I have no beef with vegetarians.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Discovered a new coping mechanism called lashing out and making your loved ones resent you.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Sorry, I can’t hang out. I don’t know enough words.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Warning: This movie contains “Adult Themes” such as interest rates, bad knees, back pain, and excitement about going to bed early.

Spotted on X:

I brake for no one, except squirrels.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Today is a wonderful day to leave me alone.

Spotted on X:

I wait all week for the weekend just to aggressively do nothing in five different outfits.

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