Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

Christmas is a very special time when I give my brother a $100 gift card, and he gives me a $100 gift card.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

No matter how sad their story is, don’t let anybody move into your house.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

Let’s hope those bridges you burn keep you warm at night.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Nothing is riskier than closing your eyes again in the morning for that extra minute of sleep.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

I only sleep so my phone can get the night off.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

If overthinking burned calories, I’d never need to exercise again.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

Beer is like weed for people with jobs.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

Men be like, “But I’m different.” Yeah, a different type of disappointment.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

I see why history can repeat itself. People are really stupid.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Buying something nice for myself, cuz today would’ve been my birthday if I was born today.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,325

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

A person that weights 200 pounds on Earth weighs 76 pounds on Mars. So I’m not overweight, I’m on the wrong planet.

Spotted on TikTok:

We argue about where to go for dinner for so long, it eventually becomes an argument on where to go for breakfast.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

He just walked right into my heart and switched on the lights.

Live now on X:

I bought a watermelon and all I can think about is filling it with vodka.

Broadcasted on Slack:

The single star on Texas’ flag is actually a review.

Freshly posted on X:

When I take a shower I’m: 5% cleaning myself, 10% singing, 85% making life changing decisions.

Spotted on TikTok:

I am like a wildflower, a quiet rebellion blooming through ruins and dust.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

At no single point in the Bible does it tell you not to sell drugs.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Sorry, can’t. Waiting for my clothes to come back into style again.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Get off the internet and go sniff a flower.

Sometimes happiness is just having a good night’s sleep.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the magical land of sleep, where problems get bored and leave! 😴✨😂

, , , , , , , , , , ,

Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

62 shares on Facebook this month:

My kids acting shocked there’s ants in my car like they’re not Hansel and Gretel leaving bloody crumb trails.

41 shares on Discord this month:

Awake? You may be entitled to compensation.

94 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If you sweat while you eat, it should count as a workout.

36 shares on Discord this month:

I really understand why boomers text with ellipses between everything… it feels so good…

79 shares on Telegram this month:

Went to HR to complain about my coworkers but my mom said she can’t fire my kids.

75 shares on Discord this month:

I’m so thankful I live on the planet that has pizza.

83 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Whoever named rice cakes is probably also responsible for Paris, Texas.

40 shares on Pinterest this month:

Every time I use self-checkout, the person in front of me has never used self-checkout, touchscreens, or money before.

48 shares on WeChat this month:

If you have children, you can experience all human emotions before 9 a.m. on Sundays.

96 shares on TikTok this month:

I love how my brain is like, “We’re not going to think about that,” and then thinks about only that.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

A two-step guide to warning someone not to hit their head: 1. Wait until they’ve hit their head. 2. Say “Ooh, mind your head!”

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I am the opposite of artificial intelligence. I am authentic stupidity.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I think it is mandatory, especially in the morning, to be quiet.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is realizing that the other person is completely stupid.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

The best thing about living with my parents is being woken up four minutes before my alarm to be told my alarm is about to go off.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I can sing all the words to the intro song of DuckTales, what’s your flex?

23 folks are currently checking 👀

We should make a new internet that’s as hard to use as the old internet was, so anyone that’s too stupid to have used the internet 20 years ago can’t get on it.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

The children seemed disappointed when I told them the best part about being an adult is going to bed early.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Not trying to brag but this cop says my rear end is smoking.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Cheer up! Your biggest mistake is probably still ahead of you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,345

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

When they have a dream sequence in a movie, how do they film the person’s dream?

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

Why count sheep when I can count my troubles?

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Explaining myself is too much work, just judge me.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

It’s a myth that we only use 10% of our brain, but I definitely know people who use less than that.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

A dating app called Unhinged where you agree to meet up and fight each other.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

I mostly keep friendships going because they have my good Tupperware.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

150 years ago, you could just fake your death and go overseas and live a completely different life if you didn’t like the way the cards were originally dealt.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

I think the Discovery Channel should be on a different channel every day.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

Christmas bonus so small you have to call your bank and ask “is it in yet?”

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

Has anyone ever died from waiting for a group of people to decide what they want to eat.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

Twitter sucks so much, but randomly there are such funny tweets, so I wait, like a frog, for one delicious fly.

Live now on Messenger:

“I asked ChatGPT.” Okay, well, I asked Jesus Christ of Nazareth.

Freshly posted on Discord:

If a man says “I don’t deserve you,” believe him. Because he is about to show you why.

Going viral on Reddit:

Seeing an animal sigh is so funny to me. Like, what happened, buddy?

Just shared via Telegram:

My problem areas are my upper arms and earth.

Seen just now on Instagram:

If anything goes wrong today, just dramatically whisper, “The prophecy has been fulfilled,” and walk away.

Making waves on Slack:

Welcome to your 40s: your chin looks lonely, here’s another one.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Aren’t you a little old to be a bully?

Just landed via WeChat:

Haunted Houses this year are just gonna have the news on.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Sometimes a little rudeness to establish that you don’t fancy nonsense is really important.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴