Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

Revenge is a dish best served by cutting a sandwich horizontally instead of diagonally.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

At the gym and I forgot my headphones and now I have to listen to my own thoughts. Send help.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

Sorry I can’t have a pleasant, safe and affordable life, my government said no.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

When two people argue online I believe whoever spells correctly.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

That awkward moment when everything is going so perfectly… and then you wake up.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Referring to normal shoes as non-bowling shoes.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

Are there any medium rappers? They’re always Big or Lil.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just sitting on the couch googling if penguins have knees.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

Schedule your bikini wax for the first thing in the morning, and you won’t need that cup of coffee.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

If you add orange juice to Jason Momoa, you get a Jason Mimosa.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,459

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

If it turns cold one more time, I’m gonna put the Christmas tree back up.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

My grandad fought Germans on the beaches of Normandy. This was last summer and it was very embarrassing.

Just shared via Threads:

Lie during your job interview because they’re lying to you about their great work environment.

Spotted on Facebook:

If I ever get the death penalty, I hope “by chocolate” is an option.

Seen just now on Instagram:

A moment of silence for the paycheck that was in my account for five minutes.

Going viral on Messenger:

Parenting is yelling ‘you just had a snack!’ over and over until you give in and throw them another snack.

Broadcasted on Threads:

My body cracks like a glow stick every time I move, but refuses to light up.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

What a lot of people don’t understand about mountain climbing is: don’t do that!

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Welcome to your 50s. You used to be a lot taller.

Shared recently on X:

When Hulk wrecks shit he’s “incredible.” When I do it I’m “causing a scene” and “need to leave this place immediately.”

Sometimes I’ll drink a ginger ale and eat a Biscoff cookie and sit up in kind of an unnatural position and pretend I’m on a Delta flight.

0
Sometimes I’ll drink a ginger ale and eat a Biscoff cookie and sit up in kind of an unnatural position and pretend I’m on a Delta flight.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Channeling my inner frequent flyer by sipping ginger ale, munching on a Biscoff, and contorting into creative yoga poses on the couch. Sky miles not included! ✈️😂🍪

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

41 shares on Facebook this month:

Pinterest is so therapeutic. There’s no drama, no one to argue with. Just pretty pictures.

100 shares on Discord this month:

Accepting you’re about to throw up, gotta be the worst feeling on God’s green earth.

30 shares on TikTok this month:

By the time I meet the right person, I’ll probably be the wrong person.

79 shares on Messenger this month:

If someone asks you why you’re single, just answer with: “Got lucky.”

81 shares on Instagram this month:

…and so ends another week of me not becoming unexpectedly rich.

86 shares on Messenger this month:

My ex thinks I’m with someone else, someone else thinks I’m with my ex, everyone wonders where I am. Here I am. Just enjoying my own life.

11 shares on WeChat this month:

If pigeons could talk, they would bum a cigarette.

26 shares on Twitch this month:

Mr. Beast is like if they made Dubai into a person.

79 shares on Twitch this month:

The secret to work life balance is generational wealth.

100 shares on Threads this month:

We could have high-speed rail that connects the entire country, but instead we get AI porn bots that steal all of our drinking water to entertain the dumbest people alive.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

The Slow and the Furious: me navigating a shopping cart through a grocery store filled with morons.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Got thrown out of the grocery store for holding a rotisserie chicken up like Simba again.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Maturity is when you realize money can actually buy happiness.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The Christmas tree I’ve had up all year makes a lot more sense now.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’ve been talking for 5 minutes straight, it might be someone else’s turn.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

The main function of the little toe on your foot is to make sure that all the objects and furniture in the house are in the correct place.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey! Sorry I missed your text, I am processing a non-stop 24/7 onslaught of information with a brain designed to eat berries in a cave.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s just one legitimate synonym for Friday: boom shakalaka.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Learning to be Alpha from YouTube.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I want a restraining order on everyone who doesn’t wear deodorant.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,527

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

I am a full grown adult. Now listen to me discuss the various plot holes in Paw Patrol.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

“Your boos mean nothing to me. I’ve seen what you cheer.” Is a goated doctrine. If Rick and Morty gave us anything, it gave us that.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

Please continue to leave me out of the loop.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

If I’m ever in a coma, please put chapstick on my lips.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

I’ll be like “it is what it is” and almost vomit from anxiety.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

Best friends: they know how crazy you are but still choose to be seen in public with you.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

Me: This is a hard escape room. Manager: You’re at work.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

Fitbits are just Tamagotchis, except the stupid animal you’re trying to keep alive is you.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

Funny that the Three Wise Men brought probably the three worst presents for a newborn baby.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

Not to brag but I always pick the slowest moving checkout line at the grocery store.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

My parents told me I could be anything I wanted so I became unacceptable.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

You can’t tell me there’s anything better than earplugs; I simply will not hear it.

Spotted on Facebook:

I love Fleetwood Mac, but “thunder only happens when it’s raining” is just not true.

Broadcasted on Slack:

People see me spending money and think I’m rich. No, bro, I’m just irresponsible.

Making waves on YouTube:

My goal was to look good in a bikini this summer, but the call of the barbecue is stronger.

Going bananas on Threads:

I want to clarify that what I publish on social media does not define me as a person; I am worse.

Spotted on X:

Maybe if we paid our streaming services even more, they could stop jacking up the volume on the commercials they make us watch, even though we are paying for the service.

Making waves on Discord:

Moms will vacuum the ceiling, alphabetize the spice rack, reorganize your socks, then say, “No one helps me around here!”

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Traded my Fitbit in for a Sitbit.

Shared recently on X:

My spirit animal is chasing his own tail.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴