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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

Rap fell off when literacy stopped being a requirement.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

Some people are wise, some folks are otherwise.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

Asking a film guy, “Who is that?” when Tom Cruise comes on screen just to feel something.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

Sharks are orcs, dolphins are elves.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

The romantic says that there is the right partner for everyone. The realist says: only one person has to choose the wrong one and then it won’t work out for everyone!

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

You’re so productive for your wage.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

I am not responsible for what my face does when you talk.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

You never hear anything about Mr. Rubik himself, only about his cube.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

Bands are always like “here’s another song”. Yeah, no shit, that’s pretty much all you do.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

Double chins are better than double faces.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,536

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but I think people who say ‘I don’t know who needs to hear this’ know exactly who needed to hear it.

Just landed via Discord:

What kind of psychopath wants to be the life of the party?

Just shared via TikTok:

AI is that friend who is always there for you but gives terrible advice.

Just landed via X:

My morning routine consists of talking myself out of quitting my job.

Trending via Slack:

Genuinely nothing worse than going bowling with people who are actually good. Like, why are you doing all that?

Spotted on Twitch:

You could waterboard pretty much any embarrassing information out of me. I’m very waterboardable.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Parenting is yelling ‘you just had a snack!’ over and over until you give in and throw them another snack.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

One day you’re 18 eating pizza for every lunch, then suddenly you’re 30 and eating salad with celery and kale juice.

Going viral on Discord:

If you ever feel like a failure, just remember, Domino’s tried to open pizza chains in Italy.

Going viral on Telegram:

God, is there anything worse than when someone wants to show you a video?

Sometimes when I get negative feedback I’m like “Hey, only I get to talk to myself that way”.

Sometimes when I get negative feedback I’m like “Hey, only I get to talk to myself that way”.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Negative feedback? Sorry, only the mirror gets to roast me like that! 🤷‍♂️🪞"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

55 shares on WhatsApp this month:

This year has been the perfect blend of me losing my mind and having the time of my life.

50 shares on Facebook this month:

A girl was coming over till she wasn’t—that’s what happened.

33 shares on WeChat this month:

Perhaps an evening in the meditation cage will soothe you.

68 shares on Facebook this month:

Boobs always win. That’s why we don’t play rock, paper, boobs.

37 shares on Telegram this month:

I’ve been reading the room for 20 minutes. It’s not looking so good.

93 shares on Twitch this month:

At my age, getting up early just means that I had to go pee, and I couldn’t hold it anymore.

76 shares on X this month:

I’ve got the longest to-do list for today, just need to figure out who is going to do it.

51 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Dear sleep, I’m sorry we broke up this morning. I want you back!

56 shares on Slack this month:

I’m so thankful I live on the planet that has pizza.

53 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m opening a secret ice cream club called The Inside Scoop.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

If you stand too close to me in the check out line, you may as well pay for my stuff while you’re breathing down my neck.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Unpopular opinion: a honeymoon is more needed 5 to 10 years down the road, versus right after getting married.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Better to be an overthinker than an overdrinker.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Being a dog must be wild, everyone you meet is your masseuse.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Whatever you ask the Universe for under this post, you will get next week.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

What a lot of people don’t understand about mountain climbing is that don’t do that.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I need a room full of mirrors, so I can be surrounded by losers.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I am stoned and laying in bed reading, and the idea of Santa going on Ozempic popped into my head, and I whispered, “No!”

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Hate all political parties and you’ll never be disappointed.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

With great power comes a huge electric bill.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,591

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

Stress in private, complain on Twitter, happy in public.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

Fun prank: make people study for many years, and then don’t give them jobs.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

Intro to salsa class was weird, I starved myself all day, there was no chips or dips and then these weirdos were all grabby and dancing around.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

Life is just a sequence of missed opportunities.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Yes, I was behind the DJ booth, but only as a cultural anthropologist.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

The lion can’t keep living like this.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

There should be an Olympics where athletes can take as many drugs as they want. Like, to hell with y’all, let’s see how high humans can really jump.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Girls be like, “I hate this man,” then have sex with him.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

I’m liking your IG photo from 8 days ago because IG just showed me today!

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

If it doesn’t get a like in the first two years, I delete it.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Threads:

They should invent a body that doesn’t keep the score.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

King-sized beds: Because you both want to sleep on the same mattress, but not in the same zip code.

Broadcasted on Discord:

I’m at the age where unnecessary noise be pissing me off.

Live now on Telegram:

Telling a child not to touch something only ensures that child is definitely now going to touch that something.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

At the end of my appointment, the doctor took her own blood pressure.

Just landed via Twitch:

Life is like a helicopter. I don’t know how to operate a helicopter.

Spotted on Threads:

Instead of writing letters, let’s wait a week before texting each other back so it still feels like it.

Shared recently on Discord:

I love traveling because I love to check if I have my passport every 3-4 minutes.

Seen just now on YouTube:

These days I just accept the website cookies without any protest. Website is like Grandma, I’m not gonna fight with her.

Live now on Snapchat:

Tupperware is a fun way to store your leftovers until you throw them away.

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