Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

Just got my test results back and my cholesterol level is a cheese bratwurst.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarfs aren’t happy.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

My favorite conspiracy theory is that things will get better.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

We are the last generation of programmers who know the deadly feeling of seeing the exact problem in our code, on Stack Overflow, with 0 answers.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

A girl hating you is a million times better than her calling you a ‘nice guy’.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

My ducks are not even remotely in a row. My ducks are in places no duck has ever gone before.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

They should list at least one alien “as himself” in the Star Wars credits.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

Rather than work on my issues, I’m counting on my personality getting changed by a falling coconut.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

I’m a work in progress that hasn’t made much progress.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

I’m not always annoying, sometimes I sleep too.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

334 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,603

Funny Quotes Topics

17,660

Funny Quotes Images

15,603

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,648

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Twitch:

I wish my Fitbit could track all the steps I’ve taken trying to find where I put it.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

It’s wild that “Jason” is a name from ancient Greece, because it sounds like it was invented in Florida in 1983.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I’m actually quite nice. If I had friends, they’d all confirm that.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Nothing hits harder than opening the fridge for the fifth time, hoping new food magically appeared.

Making waves on Twitch:

No, it’s totally fine, Grandma. Nobody else needs to use the stairs today.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.

Shared recently on Discord:

I’m so hungry, I could eat a full-time job with health insurance.

Trending via YouTube:

Celery is depressing green water wafers.

Spotted on WeChat:

I either text back right away or never, because I saw your text, replied in my head but forgot to actually type it.

Spotted on Reddit:

I do not have a “body count.” I have a curious spirit.

Sorry, I’m late. I got here when I wanted to.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When punctuality takes a backseat to personal flair 🚦😎—because who needs a schedule when you’ve got style? 😂⏰ #LateAndLovingIt

attitude, casual, confidence, here, humor, i, late, lateness, punctuality, sarcasm, sorry, wanted

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

It really cannot be overstated how many of your problems disappear once you have a beautiful woman who is in love with you.

1 week ago

beautiful, beauty, disappear, humor, love, once, problem, problems, relationship, woman
Cheers to all who skipped that one dish at Thanksgiving because you just didn’t trust the person who brought it.

2 months ago

cheers, dish, food, holiday, humor, just, person, Thanksgiving, trust
This can’t be the same brain I was using to read 750-page novels in 3 days during middle school.

3 months ago

3, brain, days, humor, i, memory, middle, middle school, nostalgia, novel, read, reading, same, school, using
My house was clean yesterday. Sorry, you missed it.

2 months ago

clean, domestic, house, humor, joke, missed, sarcasm, sorry, yesterday
Some nights I stay up hella late just farting.

6 months ago

bodily, bodily function, farting, function, habit, humor, i, just, late, late night habit, night, nights, stay, staying, staying up late
The whole “read before you go to bed to get sleepy” thing does not apply to me because I will be up till 5 a.m. if the book is worth it.

1 month ago

5, am, bed, bedtime, before, book, humor, i, insomnia, late, late night, me, night, night owl, owl, procrastination, read, reading, sleep, sleepy, thing, whole, worth

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

83 shares on TikTok this month:

If I block you and you email me, you’re getting another chance.

67 shares on WeChat this month:

At the art museum walking slower and observing more than anyone else.

34 shares on Messenger this month:

I learn from the mistakes of people who took my advice.

60 shares on Reddit this month:

It’s okay if you don’t like me, not everyone has good taste.

71 shares on Messenger this month:

The person who invented autocorrect should burn in hello.

24 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m either freezing, peeing, or starving.

80 shares on TikTok this month:

If you’re not getting spoiled, then spoil yourself.

30 shares on Twitch this month:

Sure, you can invite more people to the plans we made 2 months ago. The more, the merrier. Also, I’m not going now.

49 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m gonna be the first zoomer to start dropping the ‘two thousand’ when referring to the past. “Yeah, that was back in ‘17.”

14 shares on Pinterest this month:

8 year gap on resume that just says “karate”.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

This is actually worse than Biff Tennan’s future.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

My toxic trait is destroying my room every time I get dressed.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

If I were a mouse and I lived in Moscow, I would think, haha, I live in Mousecow!

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

Bison may look friend-shaped, but they already have all the friends they want. Keep your distance and don’t make it awkward.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

Being in college when The Chainsmokers dropped Closer was an experience to say the least.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Apparently, throwing the remote against the wall didn’t help recharging the batteries.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

I had a sex dream last night that felt so real, I’m just gonna go ahead and add it to my body count.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

If you love me, please don’t ask me to go camping with you.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

“You don’t look 40.” How am I supposed to look?

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Getting paid 26 times in 365 days is not my destiny.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on WeChat:

I hate when I forget to say something during an argument. Like, hey, let’s argue again, I got better material now.

Shared recently on Discord:

My life is ruined. I wish to live no more. Never mind, I found the remote.

Going bananas on Reddit:

My husband loves it when he orders fries, I say I don’t want any, and then I swoop in on his like a seagull at the beach.

Going viral on WeChat:

Fruit and vegetables expire faster when you’re the one paying for them.

Just landed via Instagram:

When my wife packs for a trip she basically moves out.

Freshly posted on X:

When you try to be humble and say it’s no big deal and they agree with you.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Once I get my UFO, don’t be asking me for rides.

Just shared via Facebook:

I can’t date until the curse is lifted.

Just shared via Telegram:

Congress taking an entire month off in a country where most people don’t get more than 2 weeks’ vacation is awesome.

Going viral on Discord:

When I was a kid, I thought cicadas were the sound sunshine makes when it’s real hot outside.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Sorry, I’m late. I got here when I wanted to.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

It really cannot be overstated how many of your problems disappear once you have a beautiful woman who is in love with you.

Cheers to all who skipped that one dish at Thanksgiving because you just didn’t trust the person who brought it.

This can’t be the same brain I was using to read 750-page novels in 3 days during middle school.

My house was clean yesterday. Sorry, you missed it.

Some nights I stay up hella late just farting.

The whole “read before you go to bed to get sleepy” thing does not apply to me because I will be up till 5 a.m. if the book is worth it.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨