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Commentary:
"Well, my facial expressions tend to spill the tea without even trying! 🤭☕️ Sorry not sorry for being a human lie detector! 😉 #RestingSavageFace"

communication, disdain, expression, face, hide, honesty, humor, much, reaction, sarcasm, saying, sorry

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

When you have the money, you can go a whole day without eating. But when you’re broke, the dizziness starts at 6 a.m.

0

2 months ago

6, am, broke, daily, daily life, day, dizziness, eating, finances, financial, financial struggle, humor, hunger, life, money, poverty, struggle, whole
Me passing someone: you slow mule! Me being passed: okay, speed racer!

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3 months ago

being, compliment, contradiction, humor, insult, irony, me, mule, okay, passing, racing, reaction, slow, someone, speed
I’m at an age now where I start sentences with “I’m at an age now.”

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3 months ago

age, humor, i, self-reference, sentence, start, where
If you ever wanted to know anything about me, just get me a bottle of wine, and you will, in fact, find out in about 10 minutes.

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4 days ago

anything, bottle, drinking, ever, fact, humor, just, know, me, minutes, personal, socializing, wanted, wine
My day starts backwards, I wake up tired and I go to bed wide awake.

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2 months ago

awake, backwards, bed, daily, daily routine, day, humor, i, morning, night, reverse, routine, sleep, tired, wake, wide
Perhaps the best thing about getting older is that I no longer want to know everything.

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2 months ago

aging, best, everything, getting, getting older, humor, i, know, knowledge, lessons, life, life lessons, longer, older, self-awareness, thing, want, wisdom

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

81 shares on WeChat this month:

Taylor Swift’s most unrealistic lyric is “he’d never tell you, but he can play guitar”, because I’ve never met a man who can play guitar that isn’t gonna tell you about it.

78 shares on Reddit this month:

Obsessed with how Siri just doesn’t work at all, ever.

33 shares on Telegram this month:

A little mischievousness is good for the soul.

65 shares on Facebook this month:

I ordered one of those Tempura mattresses. Way too crunchy.

61 shares on Discord this month:

American homes are so strange because, why is your front door in the living room?

13 shares on Threads this month:

My favorite conspiracy theory is that everything is going to be OK.

57 shares on Instagram this month:

You’ve never burned music to a CD, and it shows.

84 shares on Twitch this month:

You can tell a lot about someone based on which Spice Girl they were most attracted to.

56 shares on Facebook this month:

The older I get, the more I realize being in a hurry is a terrible way to live your life.

72 shares on X this month:

Men used to smoke Marlboros. Now they cry when they lose their strawberry cheesecake vape.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

I need to stop saying “Oppa Gagnam Style!” to fill in awkward pauses in conversation.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

I belong to the generation that repaired the TV with a single blow to the casing.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Potatoes make French fries, chips and vodka. It’s like the other vegetables aren’t even trying.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

If I don’t reply, assume I opened your message, nodded, and then got distracted.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

The secret to being able to buy whatever you want is not wanting much.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

People who live in glass houses shouldn’t change clothes.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

Ratatouille is hilarious because the villain wasn’t even evil; he just didn’t want food cooked by rats?!?

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

Only thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m stupid.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

Therapy isn’t gonna cut it, I need vengeance.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

I can’t sleep good when I know the food is feeling cold in the fridge.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

A baby cow is called a calf because it’s half a cow. Half cow. Calf. No further questions.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Just washed my windows and not a single bloke came out and said ‘You can do mine next!’ This used to be a real country.

Live now on Instagram:

Thinking about writing my own eulogy because I don’t want my loved ones to say I’m a control freak.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Feeling morally and spiritually adrift without a Sunday HBO show.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Halloween is a big day for dogs who love to absolutely lose their shit when the doorbell rings.

Just landed via Discord:

I’ve never seen anything sadder than me in a black cape under the salon lights with wet hair parted incorrectly by a solid inch.

Just shared via Slack:

I’m not accepting the bare minimum; I need you to shake it to the max.

Going bananas on Discord:

Born to be a frolicker of the forest, forced to be a cog in the machine.

Just shared via Twitch:

I don’t know why doctors only give stickers to kids? Like, hello, I was also brave today.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Some people are living proof that brain failure does not immediately lead to death.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Sorry, my face wasn’t created to hide that much distain for what you’re saying.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

When you have the money, you can go a whole day without eating. But when you’re broke, the dizziness starts at 6 a.m.

Me passing someone: you slow mule! Me being passed: okay, speed racer!

I’m at an age now where I start sentences with “I’m at an age now.”

If you ever wanted to know anything about me, just get me a bottle of wine, and you will, in fact, find out in about 10 minutes.

My day starts backwards, I wake up tired and I go to bed wide awake.

Perhaps the best thing about getting older is that I no longer want to know everything.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨