Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

The hottest I ever look is when I’m brushing my teeth in my underwear, but it’s very much a ‘tree falls in the woods’ situation.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

If you sweat while you eat, it should count as a workout.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

Accidentally said “normal” when they asked what milk I wanted at the leftist cafe.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Doctor said I am terminally chill.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

My love language is deader than Latin.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

Men have nice skin because they stress out everyone but themselves.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

Me summer vacation planning: I’m going to Europe. Bank account: You’re going camping.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

Why read the room when you can leave the room?

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

Sorry, I’m late. I took a walk around the world to ease my troubled mind.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

I’m not shaking hands anymore. You may bow or kneel down.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,587

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

Before the internet, going viral meant your drawing made it to the fridge, and your sibling was furious.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Getting a boner because the Lego instructions are telling me what to do.

Trending via TikTok:

Venmo is my favorite social media site. I love to see my boy John charge his wife for Martinis.

Spotted on Discord:

All these deadlines, but it’s you I want to meet.

Spotted on TikTok:

Imagine Pinocchio roasting you for 5 mins straight and his nose didn’t move an inch.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I don’t care about life on other planets. I don’t even have a life on this one.

Live now on Slack:

Due to inflation and tariffs, my love now costs a thing.

Just shared via Messenger:

Welcome to your 40s. A random back pain will be assigned to you shortly, and you’ll never know what flares it up every time.

Just shared via Facebook:

Never feel bad when people roll their eyes while you talk to them. They’re just looking for their brain.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Insulting me won’t work. I already said that to myself earlier.

Staring at your phone is a great way to miss a few years of your life.

7 days ago

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Commentary:
Time flies when you're having fun… or when you're deep into your 8th "dog riding skateboard" video 😂📱🐕‍🛹

distraction, great, humor, life, miss, phone, procrastination, staring, technology, time

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Social Media Stars ⭐

13 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The feminine urge to start a coven.

26 shares on Discord this month:

What’s a positive thought for beginners? I’ve been getting into optimism lately.

98 shares on Threads this month:

“Damn, you’re tight!” I whisper as I look at my monthly budget.

46 shares on Slack this month:

My dog understands several human words. I don’t understand any dog barks. He may be smarter than me.

37 shares on Snapchat this month:

Of course I look tired, it’s hard pretending to be awake.

91 shares on TikTok this month:

Sometimes there is no way to debug besides staring at the code until you become enlightened.

58 shares on Telegram this month:

I never get as envious of parents as I do when their baby starts crying and they get to leave the event.

94 shares on Messenger this month:

Relationship status: I love my bed.

26 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You’re old if you’re excited to learn how to play Mahjong.

78 shares on Telegram this month:

If you meet me and I’m talking to myself, just keep walking. I’m self-employed and I’m in a meeting with senior management.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

“Age is just a number!” Yeah, the older I get, the number I feel.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

If I like you I keep you close, if not I keep you at a distance so I can mime squishing your head between my thumb and forefinger.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

Don’t give up, keep going. There are still so many disappointments waiting for you.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

The older I get, the less surprised I’d be if a random body part just fell off one day.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

Better to be a wolf that everyone hates, than a donkey that everyone rides.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

Made a lot of mistakes in my life, but adding more cheese than a recipe calls for isn’t one of them.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

If you want your kid to play with their toy just give it to your other kid. Follow me for more parenting hacks.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

The Scream movies were believable in the ’90s, but no one with any common sense answers unknown numbers on their phones anymore.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

Watermelon. The fruit that comes with a workout.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

Sorry, can’t. I’m too busy growing new neural pathways to make space for a stranger’s opinion. Evolution takes bandwidth, man.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Threads:

I’m either freezing, peeing, or starving.

Live now on Telegram:

You should be able to google why a couple broke up.

Freshly posted on X:

I get most of my exercise these days from shaking my head in disbelief.

Shared recently on Threads:

Clueless but committed – that’s my vibe.

Trending via Reddit:

I can’t wait to retire so I can get up at 6 a.m. and go drive around really slow and make everybody late for work.

Going viral on Telegram:

Another fine day ruined by waking up.

Spotted on X:

It’s so unrealistic for me to delete WhatsApp, but man, I’d love to do it.

Just shared via Facebook:

Welcome to your 40s: here’s ten pounds.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Forget about “long story short”… I’m gonna start saying “short story long,” and take you on a journey you didn’t ask for.

Live now on Slack:

My so-called “friends” have asked that I stop referring to them that way.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Staring at your phone is a great way to miss a few years of your life.

Imagine giving someone your heart at Christmas, but the very next day they give it away. Haha, would feel so stupid.

All the leaves are brown. And this guy is Greg.

The best thing capitalism has done is put a little window on pasta boxes so the noodles can look out at the world.

I’m very loyal to whatever brand is on sale.

God: “You can’t just say ‘Goddammit!’ and expect Me to damn it. There’s a procedure. File the paperwork.”

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Staring at your phone is a great way to miss a few years of your life.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Imagine giving someone your heart at Christmas, but the very next day they give it away. Haha, would feel so stupid.

All the leaves are brown. And this guy is Greg.

The best thing capitalism has done is put a little window on pasta boxes so the noodles can look out at the world.

Sure, I could keep my thoughts to myself but I can’t see “Likes” in my journal.

I’m very loyal to whatever brand is on sale.

God: “You can’t just say ‘Goddammit!’ and expect Me to damn it. There’s a procedure. File the paperwork.”

Social Media Stars ⭐

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