Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Your banking app misses you more than your wallet 😂💸 Time to face the music and embrace the financial chaos you've created! #MoneyMoves"

app, avoiding, banking, done, finance, humor, money, procrastination, responsibility, self-reflection, stop

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I will marry a man who treats me delicately as if I’m a gift straight from heaven.

2 months ago

gift, heaven, i, ideal, ideal partner, kindness, love, man, marriage, marry, me, partner, relationship, romance, straight
Off to my crying appointment (therapy).

2 months ago

appointment, care, crying, health, humor, mental, mental health, self, self-care, therapy
“I’m not short. I’m just more down to earth than most people.”

3 months ago

confidence, down to earth, Earth, height, humor, just, most, people, personality, short
I’m not a perfectionist. I’m more of a good-enoughist.

2 months ago

attitude, good-enough, humor, mindset, perfectionist, self-deprecation
The Velvet Underground probably wouldn’t have been so influential if I was at their shows with a giant magnet and pulled their guitars out of their hands.

1 month ago

band, concert, giant, giant magnet, guitar, hands, humor, i, influence, magnet, music, shows, The Velvet Underground, underground, velvet
Isn’t it beautiful how ‘Bruh’ has stood the test of time all these years.

2 months ago

beautiful, bruh, humor, language, nostalgia, phrase, slang, test, time

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

11 shares on Twitch this month:

People always say, “There’s plenty of fish in the sea” … yeah, but I’ve got my eye fixed on that specific, emotionally distant salmon who has commitment issues.

27 shares on WeChat this month:

I can resist everything except temptation.

15 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Imagine you go bowling by yourself and you go sit down, but it’s your turn again.

93 shares on Messenger this month:

There’s a cougar warning in my neighborhood, but apparently it’s just a big cat. I bought a case of wine coolers for nothing.

80 shares on Telegram this month:

Sometimes I think I should talk to my colleagues more often. Until I talk to my colleagues.

54 shares on YouTube this month:

Wish my metabolism worked as fast as my anxiety.

15 shares on Twitch this month:

20’s: what even is a hangover? 40’s: puts on sunglasses to open fridge…

25 shares on Discord this month:

Anyone who thinks being a pessimist isn’t any fun fails to appreciate the joy of saying, ‘I told you so.’

65 shares on Snapchat this month:

I can’t do the splits. But so far there has never been a situation where I’ve thought, “I should do the splits now.”

35 shares on Reddit this month:

The difference between the Olympic village and a normal village is that not everyone in the Olympic village is related to each other.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

You ever see a woman so beautiful it makes you momentarily mentally ill?

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

Some people avoid bacon for the sake of religion. I avoid religion for the sake of bacon.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

When I tell my kids I’ll do something in a minute, what I’m really saying is “Please forget.”

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

Sometimes I want to go back in time and punch myself in the face.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

I’m just a girl looking for another snack.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Apparently, if you leave your Tupperware cupboard unorganized for too long, they procreate, and extra lids appear out of nowhere.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

Imagine if spiders giggled when they ran away from us.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

Everyone’s gangsta until grandma grabs that wooden spoon.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Whoever named the meatball absolutely nailed it.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

Netflix needs to stop asking if I’m still watching and start asking if I moved the laundry to the dryer yet.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

Some people are living bowel movement to bowel movement.

Making waves on Slack:

If I were lost and all I had was a compass, I would still be lost.

Seen just now on WeChat:

So glad that the dream I had of you isn’t affecting me at all, and I’m able to go on with my day without thinking of it.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Heard a recording of my own voice, and now I can never speak again.

Going bananas on Slack:

I see no action figures, puzzles, or board games. I thought you said you wanted to play with me.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I need an emergency cheeseburger.

Spotted on Instagram:

I’m going back to the 90s, if anyone wants to come.

Just landed via Discord:

People should be able to call in healthy: “Look, I’m not coming into the office today. I feel really good and I don’t want to waste it on being at work.“

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

My funeral better have a bloody merch table.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

No time like now to start “flossing regularly” before tomorrow’s dental appointment.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Stop avoiding your banking app. Go look at what you’ve done.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I will marry a man who treats me delicately as if I’m a gift straight from heaven.

Off to my crying appointment (therapy).

“I’m not short. I’m just more down to earth than most people.”

I’m not a perfectionist. I’m more of a good-enoughist.

The Velvet Underground probably wouldn’t have been so influential if I was at their shows with a giant magnet and pulled their guitars out of their hands.

Isn’t it beautiful how ‘Bruh’ has stood the test of time all these years.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨