Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

He who laughs last didn’t get it.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

How does world hunger exist when we can fry air?

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

When you’re two beers in, and you realize she looks like God.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

The only downside to dating hot men is that when it ends, he’s still hot.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

Explaining myself is too much work, just judge me.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

A babysitter is a teenager who acts like an adult while the adults go out to act like teenagers.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

Hate when I get halfway there and have to go back for my teeth.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

Maybe Baby wants to be put in the corner.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Twitter is a weapon of mass distraction.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

Unfollowing girls on Instagram as soon as they get a boyfriend is something I’ll never stop doing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,714

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on WeChat:

When waiting for a flight, there’s always one guy at the gate that makes you think, “As long as I’m not sitting next to him, I’ll be fine.”

Spotted on WeChat:

One of the most underrated benefits of having a cat is that you get another creature to look around in confusion with you when you hear a random loud-ass noise in the middle of the night.

Shared recently on Slack:

I bet being full feels so good for the moon.

Breaking via YouTube:

Memories are a bit fuzzy – but regrets? They’re in 8K and Dolby Vision.

Making waves on Threads:

The older I get, the more I understand why Grumpy Old Men exist.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

God: “I’m all-knowing but I’d rather be all-forgetting.”

Live now on Threads:

If you’re happy and you know it, you’re clearly not paying enough attention.

Trending via Instagram:

“Get a life!” Have you seen some of the lives out there?

Breaking via Instagram:

I love when women have one daughter as their only child. It’s so incredibly chic.

Just shared via TikTok:

I used to be a person who couldn’t easily fall asleep, then I got divorced and now I sleep like a baby. Probably unrelated.

Stop blaming everyone for your problems. Pick one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Finally, a productive use for my least favorite sibling! 😂🙈 #BlameGameChampion"

advice, blame, blaming, comedy, everyone, everything, frustration, hate, humor, irony, person, pick, problem, problems, relationships, sarcasm, stop

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I don’t want to brag but I walked into a room and remembered why I walked in.

0

2 months ago

brag, forgetfulness, humor, i, joke, memory, room, self-deprecation, walking, want
I’d stalk me too, I get it.

0

2 months ago

humor, i, ID, me, media, sarcasm, self-awareness, social, social media, stalk, stalking, too
My goal was to look good in a bikini this summer, but the call of the barbecue is stronger.

0

2 months ago

barbecue, bikini, call, fitness, food, fun, goal, good, humor, outdoor, summer, temptation
I’m not being smart, I’m just a skilled trained professional in pointing out the obvious.

0

2 months ago

humor, just, obvious, pointing, pointing out, professional, sarcasm, skilled, smart, wit
If only vehicles could be equipped with little blinky lights on the corners to alert other drivers the direction they wished to turn.

0

2 months ago

alert, blinky, blinky light, direction, drivers, humor, light, lights, little, traffic, turn, vehicle
The best part about filling out doctor appointment forms online is when you get there and they say “hello, please fill out these forms!”

0

2 months ago

appointment, best, doctor, fill, forms, frustration, healthcare, hello, humor, irony, online, say, waiting

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

74 shares on Instagram this month:

Don’t ask me for work advice, I’m just going to tell you to quit your job.

17 shares on TikTok this month:

I would like to have the peace of mind of a cow. I already have the body.

73 shares on YouTube this month:

Grant me the supernatural ability to change the things I cannot accept.

42 shares on Reddit this month:

Jehovah’s Witnesses tell the worst knock knock jokes.

64 shares on LinkedIn this month:

With age comes wisdom. And digestive trouble.

22 shares on Threads this month:

Adulting is difficult. One minute you’re proud of yourself, the next minute you feel like you’re not doing enough.

62 shares on YouTube this month:

Too shy for influencing. Too dumb for crypto. Too honest for a scam. Too lazy for 9-5. How can I make money?

36 shares on Reddit this month:

I finally got 8 hours of sleep. Took me four days, but whatever.

27 shares on Telegram this month:

For me, math class is like watching a foreign movie without subtitles.

88 shares on Reddit this month:

You ever just see a tree and be like, “Bob Ross would’ve liked this one”?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

Science can’t explain it, but some hairs can grow up to a quarter inch overnight. Never in a good spot though.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

If you are hotter than me, it means I’m cooler than you.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

Discovering the Spice Girls broke up not over money and fame but lesbianism.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

Bring me a higher love. You have 24 hours. No cops.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

Genuinely nothing worse than going bowling with people who are actually good. Like, why are you doing all that?

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

A really good magician could be living in your house and you would never know.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

If I was a mythical creature, I’d be a Sighclops.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

“I’m at a point in my life where I don’t go anywhere unless I absolutely have to.”

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

Welcome to Netflix. We have everything but what you want to watch.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

Sunday is my favorite day to invent new things to worry about.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

Water bottle leaking in your bag is a top 10 worst experience.

Just shared via WeChat:

Sex is cool but have you ever had your bed all to yourself.

Just shared via Facebook:

The night terrors don’t scare me half as much as the day terrors.

Going viral on Twitch:

So, Earth is basically auditions for heaven and hell.

Just shared via Messenger:

You sound unhinged. Let’s go get mugshots.

Just shared via TikTok:

Maybe the grass is greener over there because you’re not over there messing it up.

Making waves on Discord:

Dear food, either stop being so delicious or stop making me fat.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Self-esteem’s so bad my fantasies are hurting my feelings.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Took control of my life today and canceled my AOL subscription.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

There should be a Mad Max movie that reveals the world outside Australia has actually remained pretty normal.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Stop blaming everyone for your problems. Pick one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I don’t want to brag but I walked into a room and remembered why I walked in.

I’d stalk me too, I get it.

My goal was to look good in a bikini this summer, but the call of the barbecue is stronger.

I’m not being smart, I’m just a skilled trained professional in pointing out the obvious.

If only vehicles could be equipped with little blinky lights on the corners to alert other drivers the direction they wished to turn.

The best part about filling out doctor appointment forms online is when you get there and they say “hello, please fill out these forms!”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨