Stop expecting people to be as cool as you, it’s a recipe for disappointment.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

Never trust someone who can eat 24/7 but is still skinny.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

Do goalies ever get lonely during a game?

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

Last night my guardian angel came to me, covered me up, gave me a kiss on the forehead and whispered in my ear: “You’re a pain in the ass!”

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Canadian Thanksgiving isn’t the same day as Thanksgiving in the US because Canadians already put gravy on everything every day.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

I have heard that people without dogs have to pick up dropped food themselves.

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I’m the only person breathing through my nose at this Walmart.

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Starting all my work emails today with, “to whom it’s about to concern”.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

I hate it when someone gives me a valid solution to my problem and I have to find something new to complain about.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

You only live once and thank God for that.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

“You replied so quickly.” God forbid I wait like a dog to hear from you again.