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Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

After nearly 40 years, I finally came to understand why some men slip away into a quiet, private life, far from the masses.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

The best thing about work is the coffee machine and the drive home.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

You want me to go apple picking? The original sin?

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

Shoutout to everyone who can’t keep up with the laundry or the dishes but decided it was a great idea to start gardening.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

Did you ever buy a pack of underwear, take them out, and think, wow, these are huge… then try them on, and they fit perfectly?

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

I get sad whenever they’re mean to Zoidberg in Futurama.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

My girlfriend wants us to try couples counseling and I said we should use my therapist because he already knows what’s wrong with her.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

Seems like it would be really tough being a girl named Molly at a rave.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

The only way I’m gonna hit the gym is if I accidentally drive into it.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

At the end of the day, the day is going to end.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

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17,766

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15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

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Just shared via Instagram:

I’m so lazy that I’ll break my tooth trying to get this tag off before I get up and get a scissor.

Spotted on Discord:

If my memory gets any worse, I’ll be able to plan my own surprise party.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Anime characters are always like “But you didn’t know about my eye,” and then they activate their mode.

Seen just now on Facebook:

When people suck the life out of you, they should take some fat too.

Just shared via Messenger:

Smash Mouth was so right, the years really do start coming and they don’t stop coming.

Making waves on TikTok:

Special Offer: Save 100% when you don’t buy anything.

Going viral on Threads:

Can I be speaker? I’m pretty good at saying a lot without saying anything at all.

Seen just now on Slack:

The Bloodhound Gang were very special because its music for 12-year-old boys, but every reference requires you to be 40 years old.

Just landed via Telegram:

I avoid clarified butter because I prefer my dairy products to be troubled and confused.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Oligarchy sounds like something you dip your breadstick in at the olive garden.

Stop worrying about being weird and start being weirder.

1 week ago

Funny Quotes

Playful quote encouraging embracing quirks and being even weirder.

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Embrace your inner oddball and level up to Grandmaster of Quirkiness! 🦄🤪✨

being, confidence, encouragement, humor, individuality, self-acceptance, start, stop, uniqueness, weird, weirdness, worrying

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73 shares on Instagram this month:

People are too casual about the fact that parrots can talk.

28 shares on X this month:

Twitter will always be your best app if you’re single, funny, or just depressed.

37 shares on YouTube this month:

Anyone who doesn’t like me snoring, doesn’t deserve me moaning either.

95 shares on Threads this month:

Going to ask seven friends for advice and then execute my original plan.

61 shares on Messenger this month:

There’s endless songs out there about love and pain and life, but basically only one about the wheels on the bus. Just goes to show you they nailed it the first try.

28 shares on Telegram this month:

According to my calculations, we’re all screwed.

79 shares on Instagram this month:

Nothing makes me more stabby than when my husband ignores me and starts talking to the dog.

54 shares on WhatsApp this month:

This heat made me realize I won’t survive in hell, I gotta change.

29 shares on Facebook this month:

Anyone else who tells their pets every time they leave the house that they’ll be back soon?

93 shares on Threads this month:

I hate Valentine’s Day but I do enjoy infant archery.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

You can never lose a homing pigeon. If your homing pigeon doesn’t come back, what you lost was a normal pigeon.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

Remember before social media you would have to pick up the phone and call someone to tell them how much you love bacon?

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

My boyfriend moved in with me straight from Hotel Mama. In a way, I’m now a single parent.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

This gingerbread house isn’t even close to fire safety codes.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Abandoned amusement parks are so creepy. It’s no wonder they were abandoned.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

(Seeing the guy next to me reading a novel) You know, none of that happened, right?

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

I avoid clarified butter because I prefer my dairy products to be troubled and confused.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

Oh, that’s nothing a sudden burst of completely disproportionate rage won’t solve.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

If anyone wants to sponsor me, I’ll be running a 0.002K this weekend to raise awareness for laziness.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

It ain’t easy being America’s sweetheart during these dark times, but someone gotta do it!

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

My kids want to know what’s for dinner, like they’re going to be happy with the answer.

Spotted on Twitch:

Imagine Pinocchio roasting you for 5 mins straight and his nose didn’t move an inch.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

A dinosaur as a pet would solve so many problems. Mainly, people problems.

Live now on YouTube:

Going viral on X is like winning a lotto during the apocalypse.

Trending via WeChat:

Fruit and vegetables expire faster when you’re the one paying for them.

Shared recently on Facebook:

You should be allowed to miss work if you’re not feeling sexy.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Imagine being social on social media.

Going viral on X:

“Devil’s advocate” implies the existence of heaven’s prosecutor.

Spotted on YouTube:

If women came with instructions, men wouldn’t read them anyway.

Just shared via Reddit:

I would never put up a lost dog poster. I’m not letting the whole neighborhood know I fumbled.

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Activity Log ✨

Stop worrying about being weird and start being weirder.

I like to think of myself as an onion. Peel back the many layers and deep down inside you’ll find a smaller, more anxious onion.

“You look tired!” Bro, I want to stop existing.

I have determined there is no quiet way to get a pan out of a cabinet in the morning.

Peloton guy yelling “two more, one more” but it’s me eating Cheetos.

Lost my job to AI (my job was to be loudly and confidently incorrect).

My only plan for this weekend is to move just enough so the people don’t think I’m dead.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Stop worrying about being weird and start being weirder.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I like to think of myself as an onion. Peel back the many layers and deep down inside you’ll find a smaller, more anxious onion.

“You look tired!” Bro, I want to stop existing.

I have determined there is no quiet way to get a pan out of a cabinet in the morning.

Peloton guy yelling “two more, one more” but it’s me eating Cheetos.

Lost my job to AI (my job was to be loudly and confidently incorrect).

My only plan for this weekend is to move just enough so the people don’t think I’m dead.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨