Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

If I were lost and all I had was a compass, I would still be lost.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

Me passing someone: you slow mule! Me being passed: okay, speed racer!

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

Having divorced parents as an adult is funny because you and your siblings are like, “Damn, who has custody of Mom today?”

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

This year is starting to feel like it needs to be left outside until we see if it can act right.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

The best part about filling out doctor appointment forms online is when you get there and they say “hello, please fill out these forms!”

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

Having to choose between an old guy or a convicted felon is a perfect depiction of what dating apps are Iike.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Daylight savings is just a made up holiday to sell more daylight.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

Theo Von’s entire life is like a raccoon that visits New York City.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me using Microsoft Word, losing my revision.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

I should’ve existed as a tree.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,286

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

If you see me out in public but we haven’t talked since high school, let’s keep it that way.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Me: Please let me sleep! Brain: Nope, we have to stay up together and go over every bad life decision we have made so far.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Thinking about stepping down from being an adult, I’m just not in the right headspace for this position right now. I really appreciate the opportunity though.

Trending via Twitch:

Telling my boss I wasn’t drunk really backfired. I probably should have waited until he asked.

Spotted on Telegram:

Police cars should play ice cream truck music when they’re pulling you over for something minor.

Spotted on Slack:

In your 20s and 30s, you’ll start rediscovering the niche interests and hobbies you had as a kid. It’s very important you revisit them. Your younger self was actually on to something.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Don’t break someone’s heart, they have only one. Break their bones, they have 206 of them.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Death doesn’t scare me, but a group of dogs fighting while I’m walking alone on the street does.

Breaking via Telegram:

Remember it’s Christmas. You need to check your elf before you wreck your shelf.

Breaking via X:

Are you even a parent if you’ve never carried your child out of a store sideways like a surfboard?

That “meeting canceled” ping is a gift from the Gods.

3 weeks ago

Witty text about a canceled meeting ping, highlighting the humorous relief.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When Zeus feels my pain and nixes the PowerPoint! 😂⚡️🙏"

break, cancel, canceled, free, free time, gift, gods, humor, meeting, ping, relief, surprise, time, unexpected

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

What a time to be alive! (Derogatory)

3 weeks ago

alive, derogatory, exclamation, expression, humor, irony, life, modern, modern life, sarcasm, time
I don’t think I’ve ever made the right amount of pasta.

3 weeks ago

amount, cooking, ever, food, humor, i, kitchen, mistakes, pasta, right, think
Feeling morally and spiritually adrift without a Sunday HBO show.

3 weeks ago

addiction, adrift, entertainment, feeling, feeling adrift, HBO, HBO show, humor, morality, show, spirituality, Sunday, television
I only drink when I people.

3 weeks ago

activity, drink, fun, fun activity, humor, i, only, people, socializing
The term “domestic housewife” implies the existence of a feral housewife and that is what I aspire to be.

1 month ago

aspiration, domestic, domestic life, existence, feral, housewife, humor, i, life, term
There is a grave concern that this post will produce zero likes.

3 weeks ago

concern, engagement, grave, humor, irony, likes, media, post, produce, social, social media, zero

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

47 shares on Threads this month:

Of course, I also put my mobile down from time to time. For example, when someone tries to call me.

20 shares on YouTube this month:

I’ve been following this strict diet all week and so far all I’ve lost is my patience.

64 shares on Telegram this month:

Reading a book and coming across a character’s name that you don’t know how to pronounce, so for the rest of the book, every time you see it, your brain just goes ‘skdjfkskakfk.’

96 shares on Reddit this month:

The best thing about living with my parents is being woken up four minutes before my alarm to be told my alarm is about to go off.

58 shares on Facebook this month:

I like to describe the difference between theory and practice with shopping lists and receipts.

15 shares on Telegram this month:

I see why history can repeat itself. People are really stupid.

72 shares on TikTok this month:

The biggest first-world problem is having your favorite makeup product be discontinued.

67 shares on Messenger this month:

I thrive in a waiting room. You need me to sit in a chair and look at my phone? No worries, love, I do this at home.

81 shares on Messenger this month:

November is for turtlenecks and depression.

19 shares on Reddit this month:

From now on, I’m gonna tell guests that I made my house especially messy just for their visit. It was hard, but I got it done.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

I absolutely loooooove getting in the bed. The excitement of finally laying down? Unmatched.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

Mindfulness is out. We’re doing drugs again.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

When I was a little kid, I used to think, “This little pig went to market,” meant it was going shopping!

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

The thumbs up emoji is a nice way to tell someone not only did you receive their message, you’re also done with the conversation.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

Beavers are so funny. Why are you a little rat doing hydraulic engineering?

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

I keep my eyes in great shape by rolling them constantly.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

Americans be like, “MM:DD:YY” is how you say dates verbally, and then have a national holiday called “4th of July.”

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

I once made a joke to a coworker, and she said, “It was the funniest thing I ever said,” and suggested I post it. It got 10 likes.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

Don’t let me drive if you’re gonna scream every time we almost die.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

Remember when you could lay in one position for hours, now you have to rotate like a rotisserie chicken every 15 minutes or a hip hurts.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

Whoever said “team work makes the dream work” needs to explain that to my many personalities.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I love when my cat sighs at me, like what’s got you stressed out my little freeloading homicidal maniac!?

Freshly posted on X:

Once you realize I’m an idiot, my posts start to make a lot more sense.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I wish my life could have a stats screen but for things I care about. Like how many English Muffins with peanut butter I’ve eaten.

Just landed via TikTok:

“AI is coming for your job.” Yeah, I’d like to see AI drink 11 coffees, then have a panic attack.

Just landed via Instagram:

In all the movies, Santa never goes to the house directly next door. He always gets in his sleigh and flies off like 20 miles east.

Just landed via Instagram:

The Bachelor is like “Meet Savannah from Brooklyn, Madison from Savannah, Brooklyn from Madison”

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I’m not procrastinating. I’m protecting my peace through active avoidance.

Shared recently on Discord:

I’m glad the makers removed all the unnecessary sex scenes from my life, so I can focus on character development.

Breaking via Pinterest:

You can pronounce it “Nude Jersey” and no one will know.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

That “meeting canceled” ping is a gift from the Gods.

Keep the laugh going 😂

What a time to be alive! (Derogatory)

I don’t think I’ve ever made the right amount of pasta.

Feeling morally and spiritually adrift without a Sunday HBO show.

I only drink when I people.

The term “domestic housewife” implies the existence of a feral housewife and that is what I aspire to be.

There is a grave concern that this post will produce zero likes.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨