That “meeting canceled” ping is a gift from the Gods.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

Kinda lame that pretending everything is fine isn’t working.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

You want fast replies from a female? Argue with her!

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

“Hope this email finds you doing well!” The email found me, therefore I am unwell.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

You are not obligated to post a video of yourself dancing.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

Having a peanut allergy has to be so wild. Like, imagine you’re at a baseball game and there are people chucking bags of rattlesnakes past your head.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

The dude who invented the autocorrect has died. Restaurant in piece.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Be warned: I’m bored. This could get dangerous.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

Gonna tell my dentist that if I’m late, he should start without me.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

People who quit their jobs before having a backup job lined up ain’t scared of nothing.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

Ok, new plan, I’m gonna marry a Kardashian.