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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

I always say “it’s so expensive” and then buy it nonetheless.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

Am I the only person who would rather almost fall over carrying the shopping than walk a second time?

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

Traveling back in time to proudly inform Benjamin Franklin that my stove has wifi.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

I have my own hand stamper at home so my coworkers will think I went someplace fun the night before.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

I’m so single, I have no one to drunk text.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

Somethіng wrong іn your lіfe? There’s a nap for that.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Website: We use cookies to improve our performance. Me: Same!

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

All my favorite activities involve a mattress.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

I hate when you leave your phone on the side, and it brings up that red evil clock.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

I’ve been following this strict diet all week and so far all I’ve lost is my patience.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,623

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

Old enough to know better. Young enough to do it anyway.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

The ‘E’ in my name stands for ‘Everything you need.’

Seen just now on X:

My mom be cutting up fruit and bringing it to me in my room without saying nothing. That’s when it hits me, nobody ever gonna love me this much.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

If you see me sad, just hug me and put some money in my pocket.

Spotted on Facebook:

I feel sorry for non-glasses wearers. They’ll never know the joy of cleaning them and suddenly being upgraded to the UHD package.

Shared recently on Threads:

I’m multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

80 years from now, this comment section will be full of dead people. Write anything you want.

Just shared via Pinterest:

The one thing to know about me is I always get the last laugh. And oh yes, it’s maniacal.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

What doesn’t kill you will text you in 5 months to ask “What are you doing?”

Trending via Snapchat:

My hair would never allow me to commit a crime. I really do leave my DNA everywhere.

The bad news is I forgot to wear my spaghetti-eating shirt. The good news is I have a new spaghetti-eating shirt.

1 hour ago

Funny Quotes

Playful quote about forgetting and finding humor in spaghetti shirts.

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Commentary:
Who knew spaghetti was so fashion-forward? 🍝👕 #NewTrends

bad, bad news, eating, forgot, good, good news, humor, i, new, news, shirt, spaghetti, wear

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Social Media Stars ⭐

41 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI get absolutely no work done and then throw their coworker under the bus as soon as their boss asks about it.

55 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My most abusive relationship is with my own brain.

100 shares on Instagram this month:

Washing my hands in the sink and then wiping them on my cat, like a towel.

89 shares on Slack this month:

I don’t know who needs to hear this but you’re not dying, it’s just Monday.

45 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Anything is free if you can outrun security. The more you know.

24 shares on Pinterest this month:

How did the person who invented the spelling of “banana” decide when to stop?

88 shares on Facebook this month:

Grammar is the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you’re shit.

32 shares on Messenger this month:

What we need is an evil Santa who steals our children’s most annoying toys.

82 shares on TikTok this month:

People that I dislike shouldn’t be allowed to consume the media that I like.

12 shares on Discord this month:

Have y’all tried calories? They’re so good.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

Therapy? You mean birdwatching.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

Careful, “friend”. One more word about Shakira and you might find out just how fast I can draw this blade.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

Sometimes when I get negative feedback I’m like “Hey, only I get to talk to myself that way”.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

The best thing about living with my parents is being woken up four minutes before my alarm to be told my alarm is about to go off.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

What doesn’t kill you gives you a twisted, dark sense of humor.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

It’s messed up that there are a million songs about love, but zero about hopping on a quick call with key stakeholders.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

When you thought something would be easy peasy lemon squeezy, but it’s actually been stressy, depressy, lemon zesty.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

My body is a machine that turns pizza into diarrhea.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

French fries are like the lifeboats on the Titanic. They never give you enough.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

I usually decompose after work rather than decompress.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Instagram:

In your 20s, you’ll meet a short man. It’s very important you jump over him.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I think, therefore I am. I am, therefore I think. Therefore I am. I think.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I’m not really a “glass half full” kind of person. I’m more of a “Where’d I put my glass?” kind of person.

Going viral on WeChat:

I need a leaf blower, but for people.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Apple want $3,500 for their Vision Pro. No thanks. I can look like a dork for free.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Forrest Gump is a haunting film about how long you have to wait for a bus in America.

Trending via Slack:

It’s awkward touching hands with another man inside a popcorn bag, especially if you don’t know the man and he doesn’t know you’re eating his popcorn.

Just shared via Slack:

Every time your mom tells you that she wants the best for you, she is talking about me.

Broadcasted on Threads:

I’m sick of getting woken up at 6am by the bin men. I just want a nice sleep but they always insist that I get out of the bin before they collect it.

Making waves on Messenger:

Sorry, I can’t hang out. I don’t know enough words.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The bad news is I forgot to wear my spaghetti-eating shirt. The good news is I have a new spaghetti-eating shirt.

I have no use for mean people. I’ll walk right past you like you’re furniture.

We argue about where to go for dinner for so long, it eventually becomes an argument on where to go for breakfast.

Has anyone noticed what it’s beginning to look a lot like?

Oh, you’re in a situationship? Which one are you, the liar or the loser?

Having a toddler is wild. I’m getting breaking news about Peppa Pig.

Tom and Jerry fooled me into thinking dogs bullied cats when it’s the opposite in reality.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The bad news is I forgot to wear my spaghetti-eating shirt. The good news is I have a new spaghetti-eating shirt.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I have no use for mean people. I’ll walk right past you like you’re furniture.

We argue about where to go for dinner for so long, it eventually becomes an argument on where to go for breakfast.

Has anyone noticed what it’s beginning to look a lot like?

Oh, you’re in a situationship? Which one are you, the liar or the loser?

Having a toddler is wild. I’m getting breaking news about Peppa Pig.

Tom and Jerry fooled me into thinking dogs bullied cats when it’s the opposite in reality.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨