Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

Ever been in the car with someone who drives so fast that you press your imaginary brakes on the passenger side?

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

The porn bots liking my posts from years ago is just reminding me that I’ve always been hilarious.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

If sex was strictly meant for procreation, why did God make it feel so good?

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

If boring was a brand, you’d be the ambassador.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

Before you have kids, ask yourself: how patient am I with really stupid people?

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

The best thing about work is the coffee machine and the drive home.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

My exorcist thinks we should see other demons.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

Kids these days don’t know the shame of having to explain yo-yo injuries.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Why make new mistakes when you can keep repeating the same old familiar ones.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

The guy who drills the holes so you can assemble IKEA furniture is clearly having problems at home.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,608

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

The idea that wisdom teeth are just some random glitch that God forgot to patch, so now we have to pull them out with modern technology, is retarded.

Trending via Instagram:

Cashews are my favorite because they’re salty and hunched over just like me.

Shared recently on YouTube:

It takes only one person in this world to make you smile. It’s called a plastic surgeon.

Just landed via Threads:

If I were Juliet, I would NOT be pleased to find a man standing under my balcony at midnight. Sir, I am in my jim-jams.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Toasters aren’t governed by that little dial. They have free will.

Just landed via WeChat:

How does spaghetti know that I’m wearing light-colored clothes?

Just landed via Twitch:

Don’t let the fact that I’m deeply unserious distract you from the fact that you’re in the presence of a genius.

Going viral on Instagram:

I’m doing a challenge called ‘November’ — it’s where I just try to get through every day in the month of November.

Going viral on Telegram:

My life changed when I learned some house spiders can’t survive outside, so now I just catch them and release them in a friend’s home.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I’ve been thinking. Is ‘fat’ short for anything? Like an old word or something?

The bad news is I forgot to wear my spaghetti-eating shirt. The good news is I have a new spaghetti-eating shirt.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Who knew spaghetti was so fashion-forward? 🍝👕 #NewTrends

bad, bad news, eating, forgot, good, good news, humor, i, new, news, shirt, spaghetti, wear

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Twitter is just a virtual mental hospital.

0

2 months ago

health, hospital, humor, just, media, mental, mental health, mental hospital, online, online platform, platform, satire, social, social media, Twitter, virtual
Big decision to make? Sleep on it. Have a nightmare. Then you’ll be operating on pure adrenaline and will choose more quickly.

0

2 months ago

adrenaline, big, choice, choose, decision, decision making, humor, nightmare, procrastination, quick, quick choice, sleep, stress
“You look tired!” Bro, I want to stop existing.

0

2 months ago

bro, dark, dark humor, exhaustion, existing, humor, i, relatable, stop, tired, want
You got beef with me, but none in your fridge. That’s why you’re mad. You’re hungry.

0

2 months ago

anger, beef, food, fridge, got, humor, hunger, hungry, joke, mad, me, none, why
Prior to the arrival of Paper and Scissors, Rock faced no competition.

0

4 months ago

arrival, competition, game, humor, paper, rock, scissors
Not gonna lie, to this day, I don’t know the difference between gray and grey, I just wing it.

0

5 months ago

casual, casual language, color, confusion, day, difference, gray, grey, honesty, humor, i, just, know, language, lie, spelling, wing

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

61 shares on YouTube this month:

If I had a boyfriend, I’d put him in a snow globe and shake it really hard.

39 shares on Messenger this month:

I have one of those metal briefcases handcuffed to my wrist, and inside… my grandmother’s meatloaf recipe.

89 shares on Discord this month:

I don’t know what’s more fun—grocery shopping or making the old men blush by asking if these melons look ripe.

61 shares on Facebook this month:

I hate it when you ask what you thought was a simple question in a meeting at work, and it turns into another meeting.

15 shares on Snapchat this month:

Your Starbucks order leads me to believe that you’re very difficult to deal with.

14 shares on Facebook this month:

Jesus turned water into wine. I turn food into fertilizer. We are not the same.

50 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I wonder how many different vegetables they exploded before they discovered popcorn.

90 shares on Telegram this month:

Preparing for my beach vacation by watching Jaws.

76 shares on X this month:

I always knew I’d get old. How fast it happened was a bit of a surprise though.

66 shares on Slack this month:

I’ve just turned off the news and put on a serial killer documentary to relax.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

I don’t wanna meet your family, bring my plate to the car.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

I’m at an age where, when I’m tying my shoes, I think about what else I can do while I’m down here.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

Best friends should be able to apply to jobs together and get hired as a set.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

What’s a beginner question to ask for someone just getting into being nosy?

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

As I get older, I’m understanding why everything needs to be done before 12 p.m.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

I like my job, but if I had the opportunity to become a rich housewife, I would take it.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

Nothing tops a plain pizza.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

When you try to be humble and say it’s no big deal and they agree with you.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

When I was young, I was afraid of the dark. Now, these bills got me afraid of the light.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

Delete a letter of his name from your contacts every time he makes you upset. When his name’s gone, he’s gone. Hangman that boy.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

I remember owning a mobile device as a kid, it was called my bike.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

“PTO” stands for “prepare the others” because you’re not gonna be there.

Live now on Reddit:

I’m bringing back “hold your horses” and nobody can stop me.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I hope whoever came up with the spelling for Wednesday was punished for their actions.

Making waves on WeChat:

Me: I’ve always wanted to stare at someone from across the street then disappear when a bus passes. Interviewer: I meant more like “professional goals”.

Going viral on Twitch:

Behind every strong, independent woman… is a dog that follows her to the bathroom.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

You know IT have given up when the error message reads, ‘Something went wrong’.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

I’m opening a secret ice cream club called The Inside Scoop.

Spotted on Twitch:

Imagine how scary sharks would be if they wore necklaces made out of our teeth.

Spotted on Snapchat:

The only thing I gained so far this year is weight.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The bad news is I forgot to wear my spaghetti-eating shirt. The good news is I have a new spaghetti-eating shirt.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Twitter is just a virtual mental hospital.

Big decision to make? Sleep on it. Have a nightmare. Then you’ll be operating on pure adrenaline and will choose more quickly.

“You look tired!” Bro, I want to stop existing.

You got beef with me, but none in your fridge. That’s why you’re mad. You’re hungry.

Prior to the arrival of Paper and Scissors, Rock faced no competition.

Not gonna lie, to this day, I don’t know the difference between gray and grey, I just wing it.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨