Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

I just ate, and now I’m going swimming, so I guess this is goodbye.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

My favorite part of parenting is when they’re asleep.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

People who grew up with money will look you in the eyes and ask you something insane like, “Do you ski?”

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

How you conduct yourself when using plastic wrap is the real you.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

Please don’t buy my book on reverse psychology.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

I don’t need a midlife crisis. My whole life is a crisis.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

Euthanizing my Tamagotchi.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

I’ve been thinking. Is ‘fat’ short for anything? Like an old word or something?

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

Men have nice skin because they stress out everyone but themselves.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

I think I look pretty okay for my age. It’s just when I hold menus two feet from my face that I know the ruse is up.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,439

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Taking a Hooters waitress on a date to a different Hooters on her night off.

Spotted on Discord:

Need a permanent vacuum for unwanted thoughts.

Seen just now on Messenger:

When kids try to guess your age it will either be completely flattering or utterly devastating, but never correct.

Going viral on YouTube:

Attention: will the owner of a small blue planet with tectonic plates please attend to your vehicle. It is overheating.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Caught my son chewing on electrical wires. So, I grounded him. He’s doing better currently and conducting himself properly.

Making waves on Messenger:

When buying presents I like to think, what would Jesus have got you? So yeah, enjoy your fish sandwich.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Imagine hating on me and I’m just in my room also hating on me.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

What do you mean I never reach out? I literally thought about you.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

WW3: I can’t fire my weapon unless I first watch a 15-second unskippable ad for Raid Shadow Legends.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I feel like Mario has more raw prowess, but Luigi is probably the more sensual lover.

The bad news is I forgot to wear my spaghetti-eating shirt. The good news is I have a new spaghetti-eating shirt.

3 weeks ago

Funny Quotes

Playful quote about forgetting and finding humor in spaghetti shirts.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Who knew spaghetti was so fashion-forward? 🍝👕 #NewTrends

bad, bad news, eating, forgot, good, good news, humor, i, new, news, shirt, spaghetti, wear

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Social Media Stars ⭐

54 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Our childhood photos might be ugly but those smiles were definitely not fake.

35 shares on Messenger this month:

In my defense, I was left alone unsupervised.

59 shares on Slack this month:

I don’t understand why my cooking was garbage. I did everything right. I drank wine while I cooked. I had a hand towel over my shoulder. Literally everything right.

11 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My love life feels like when you finally spot an open space in a full parking lot — and then boom, it’s a motorcycle.

50 shares on Slack this month:

I often wonder how men could discover entire continents. Mine can’t even find the butter in the fridge.

24 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m at the age where any time my mom asks if I remember so-and-so from high school, the news is never good.

58 shares on X this month:

I really appreciate where you’re coming from. I just wish you’d go back.

65 shares on X this month:

Seriously, how sexy was Freud’s mom?

88 shares on Messenger this month:

Every outdoor cat should be given a little cowboy hat and a gun.

66 shares on Telegram this month:

(flirting) You’ll be the death of me.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

I set up my Nativity scene, but since baby Jesus hasn’t arrived yet, Mary, Joseph and all the Wise Men are just looking down at their phones.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

Last night’s dream could have been an email.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

I’m professionally employed and personally unhinged. Balance.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Zombies only eat brains, so you are safe.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

To whoever has my voodoo doll, please stop making her go to work.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

If you want to make God laugh, inhale some helium then tell Him your plans.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

I’ve deleted enough tweets to know that I should never get a tattoo.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

When you really want to slap someone, do it and say, “Mosquito!

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

So I think the mammals have now ravaged this planet long enough. It’s time for the reptiles to take over again.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

My favorite part of parenting is being exhausted all the time and losing the will to live.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Reddit:

I’m bad at being sad. Three mins later, I’m making jokes about my situation.

Breaking via Messenger:

Current situation: lying in bed, trying to manifest breakfast.

Spotted on Telegram:

Finally got around to emptying the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something started its independence movement in there.

Shared recently on Slack:

I might start telling people I’m 10 years older than I actually am just so they can tell me how great I look for my age.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I love replying “Need him” when someone posts their boyfriend on their Instagram story.

Just landed via Threads:

If we start dating now, we could be feeding each other deviled eggs on Thanksgiving, and breaking up before we have to exchange gifts for Christmas.

Live now on WhatsApp:

If I were a higher power, and people were doing evil in my name, I’d probably stop it … but that’s just me.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Never let your job prevent you from acting unemployed.

Spotted on Reddit:

Dear algorithm, only show this post to the most attractive and successful people.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Someone you haven’t talked to in forever will show up in your dream just to do a backflip.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The bad news is I forgot to wear my spaghetti-eating shirt. The good news is I have a new spaghetti-eating shirt.

Wonder what I should wear to World War III.

Just got emotional imagining a worm emerging from its cocoon as a dragonfly and then got even more emotional remembering that’s not what they do.

I was always told to eat all my food so that I’d grow to be big and strong. When exactly does the strong part kick in?

If women came with instructions, men wouldn’t read them anyway.

Treat me like a joke and I’ll leave you like it’s funny.

Pilot is one of the few jobs where you can get fired for going above and beyond.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The bad news is I forgot to wear my spaghetti-eating shirt. The good news is I have a new spaghetti-eating shirt.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Wonder what I should wear to World War III.

Just got emotional imagining a worm emerging from its cocoon as a dragonfly and then got even more emotional remembering that’s not what they do.

I was always told to eat all my food so that I’d grow to be big and strong. When exactly does the strong part kick in?

If women came with instructions, men wouldn’t read them anyway.

Treat me like a joke and I’ll leave you like it’s funny.

Pilot is one of the few jobs where you can get fired for going above and beyond.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨