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Commentary:
Living with parents: saving you from the inconvenience of being startled by an alarm clock since forever. It's like having your own personal alarm clock that comes with a pre-announcement service!

alarm, annoyance, best, daily, daily routine, family, humor, living, living situation, parent, parents, routine, situation, sleep, thing, waking, waking up

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Politics top tip: Gain people’s trust by telling them that everyone is lying to them.

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2 months ago

advice, everyone, gain, humor, lying, manipulation, people, politics, satire, tip, top, trust
Someone at my job mentioned severance, and I was like, “Oh my God, I love that show,” and they said, “No, I’m about to get fired.”

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2 months ago

fired, firing, God, humor, i, job, love, misunderstanding, oh, reaction, said, severance, show, someone, TV, TV Show, workplace
Ratatouille is hilarious because the villain wasn’t even evil; he just didn’t want food cooked by rats?!?

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2 months ago

animated, animated film, comedy, cooking, even, evil, film, food, hilarious, humor, just, misunderstanding, rat, Ratatouille, villain, want
The only warning I take seriously these days is when my cell phone battery is low.

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2 months ago

battery, cell, cell phone, humor, life, low, low battery, modern, modern life, phone, serious, technology, warning
Well, maybe grass should touch me for once. How about that?

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2 months ago

grass, humor, maybe, me, nature, once, personification, sarcasm, should, touch, well, whimsy
You know Santa isn’t real because no man over 40 is out past 9PM.

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2 months ago

40, 9pm, age, bedtime, humor, joke, know, man, night, over, past, real, reality, Santa

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

67 shares on Threads this month:

Hiccups became less popular. I never hear people hiccuping anymore. What’s going on there?

67 shares on Pinterest this month:

Your honor, if it pleases the court, here’s Wonderwall.

70 shares on X this month:

I made a clone of myself to do the dishes, another to do the laundry, and another to do the cooking, but we’re all sitting on the couch watching TV.

38 shares on YouTube this month:

Anyone who says there are no stupid questions is welcome to drop by my office. My colleagues will prove you wrong.

26 shares on TikTok this month:

Waiting for my wife to approve my new year’s resolution of making independent decisions.

64 shares on Threads this month:

Only two things are certain: death, and Princess Diana’s face on at least one grocery store magazine.

14 shares on Facebook this month:

I was about to organise my closet, but I then I found what I was looking for.

77 shares on YouTube this month:

I’ve arrived like the sun: blinding, necessary, and impossible to ignore.

10 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Never lie to Indian girls. That red dot be recording everything.

26 shares on Instagram this month:

This coffee is not coffeeing the way I need it to be coffeeing.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

I’ve reached a point in my life where if I can’t find parking, I’m just going to go home.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

Sorry, I’m late. I got here when I wanted to.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

I got us matching straight jackets for Christmas.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

Expiration date? More like spoiler alert.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

Have kids so you can live in a house full of people who can’t find anything.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

Silence is golden. But duct tape is silver.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

It’s called the Summer Olympics so one of the events should be running in flip flops to catch the ice cream man.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

The nerve of a majority of people I meet being younger than me. How dare them?

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

Just because talking is for you doesn’t mean that starting a podcast is.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

There aren’t enough hours in the day for me to do absolutely nothing.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Apparently, everyone on the Zoom calls outside my office finds my singing distracting.

Just shared via YouTube:

If you think I’m funny, you should hear the voices in my head.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

The adult version of “head, shoulders, knees and toes” is “wallet, glasses, keys and phone.”

Live now on Facebook:

Men used to go to war, now they drinking matcha.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Cops wake up Christmas morning excited as hell to ignore their family and go sit on the highway with a radar gun for 10 hours.

Just landed via X:

If stores want to accurately display clothes for people over 40, the mannequins should be laying on a couch.

Just landed via Instagram:

Don’t tell me to trust my gut. Thats where I put my snacks. Clearly that’s where I’m the weakest.

Just landed via Reddit:

Texas Chain Saw Massacre is full of plot holes. What happens to the victims when they die? Is there an afterlife?

Breaking via Snapchat:

It’s like no one in my family appreciates that I stayed up all night overthinking for them.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer the term selective participation.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The best thing about living with my parents is being woken up four minutes before my alarm to be told my alarm is about to go off.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Politics top tip: Gain people’s trust by telling them that everyone is lying to them.

Someone at my job mentioned severance, and I was like, “Oh my God, I love that show,” and they said, “No, I’m about to get fired.”

Ratatouille is hilarious because the villain wasn’t even evil; he just didn’t want food cooked by rats?!?

The only warning I take seriously these days is when my cell phone battery is low.

Well, maybe grass should touch me for once. How about that?

You know Santa isn’t real because no man over 40 is out past 9PM.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨