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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

I am at my Thanksgiving table observing personality disorders that have not been identified yet.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

I lied, there’s no sex. I just needed help getting out of my skinny jeans.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Who is praying on my downfall right now and can you stop?

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

Being bi means you say both yay and bruh.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

My toddler asked if we could go to the zoo today, and I said, “I can’t see that happening.” Then she literally left the room and came back with my glasses.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

I’m so cold, I wish I could get in the dryer.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

People don’t hate working, they hate working and still being poor.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

When people don’t drink coffee, it’s like, okay, but how do you solve the problem of being awake?

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

My Christmas letter this year includes a bonus DVD of my colonoscopy.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

Biting your tongue while eating is a perfect example of how you can still screw up, even with decades of experience.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,584

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Pinterest:

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

My boyfriend always complains that I never smile, but he’s the one who wanted a serious relationship.

Breaking via Telegram:

Airports are so funny. Like, “Oh, you’re flying across the country? Would you like to hang out in a mall first?”

Broadcasted on Telegram:

When I was young I fixed my parents’ computer and now that I’m older I fix computers for my kids. Are we the only generation that knows how computers work?

Freshly posted on Twitch:

What is your favorite movie where Tom Cruise runs really fast?

Breaking via WhatsApp:

What an embarrassing time to be alive.

Just landed via Reddit:

In your 20s, there will be a cat, and it is very important to get that cat and spend so much money on it.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

(Most depressed guy you’ve ever met) I’m doing pretty good.

Trending via X:

I’m just going to be hotter. It’s easier than being nicer.

Going bananas on Discord:

That drum solo from In the Air Tonight, but it’s me just slapping my tummy, waiting for the microwave to beep.

The empty spot in your bed is for snacks, not liars.

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The empty spot in your bed is for snacks, not liars.
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Commentary:
"Exactly! Snacks never betray you, except maybe when they run out 🍕🍿😂."

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m so good at sleeping that I can do it with my eyes closed.

33 shares on Instagram this month:

I really think my coworkers and I deserve an Oscar for acting like everything at work is fine.

75 shares on Threads this month:

I always knew I’d get old. How fast it happened was a bit of a surprise though.

23 shares on Facebook this month:

One minute you’re young and fun, and the next, you’re turning down the stereo in your car to see better.

88 shares on TikTok this month:

Waking up early is always beneficial. You just gotta make it past those first 10 minutes of being irritated.

22 shares on Telegram this month:

Let the kids believe in Santa. I believed the Undertaker and Kane were brothers.

44 shares on Instagram this month:

I like to live life dangerously by occasionally sticking my foot out over the edge of the bed at night.

67 shares on Slack this month:

God: “Free will was a bad idea. I should have charged for it.”

50 shares on Telegram this month:

I would cry but my makeup is too expensive.

81 shares on Threads this month:

Cashews are my favorite because they’re salty and hunched over just like me.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

“Tom Cruise does his own stunts!” Okay cool, but so do I.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I think if you ask Kanye for a million at the right time, he’ll give it to you.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Spent the day decorating the house for Christmas and my wife spent the day re-decorating the house for Christmas.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Parents may forget many things, but they never forget who brought the noisy toys into the house.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry I can’t have a pleasant, safe and affordable life, my government said no.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Coffee should just be free for anybody over 30.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

If oats can be milk, you can be whatever you want.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

While the optimist and pessimist argued about the glass of water, the opportunist drank it.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Therapy? You mean birdwatching.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

A.I. should be forced to wait tables before it’s allowed to make art.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,480

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

Monday morning looks like Jack Nicholson breaking through the door in The Shining.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

Don’t hate me because I can fall asleep within seconds; hate me because I can sleep through the night without having to get up to go to the bathroom.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

My age no longer permits me to suffer for love, so if you see me sad, it’s due to lack of money.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

When your kid asks you where the other parent is, they’re really saying that they’d like to speak with the manager.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

Pronouncing hyperbole like guacamole.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

Someone asked, “Can I bum a scroll?” because they deleted Instagram off their phone.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

How do I even know this guy is my “boss”? I’ve just been taking his word for it.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

Leggings: elegant for some, elephant for others.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

I think my phone is broken. I pressed the home button, but I’m still at work.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

Every CVS has its own unique energy that’s powerful enough to exalt or destroy the individual.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Twitch:

Never in the history of calming down has anyone calmed down after being told to calm down.

Going bananas on X:

My greatest aspiration is to one day solve a murder on a train.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I feel like you’re allowed to start your day at 4 p.m. if you are pure of heart.

Trending via YouTube:

I hope we’re good friends until we die, then I hope we can stay ghost friends, walk through walls and scare people.

Making waves on Messenger:

Is ChatGPT my father-in-law because it keeps making stuff up and passing it off as fact?

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Uber sends notifications like “Hey, want to take an Uber right now?” No thanks, buddy. It’s more for when I need to go somewhere.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Calm down, engine light, if I can run on broken parts, so can you.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

I have been alive all my life, and have not once seen a Chinese food commercial.

Just shared via Threads:

January is the Monday of the year.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Thanksgiving ain’t been the same ever since my uncle pulled that gun out on everybody.

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