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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

I don’t need a New Year’s resolution, it’s the year’s turn to be better.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

The worst thing about having children is the parents of the other children.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

Adulting is realizing you can’t skip work like you skipped school.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Sex before marriage is a sin unless you do it doggy style, because all dogs go to heaven. Follow me for more biblical loopholes.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

No matter how bad your day seems, just remember that someone out there has line danced to Achy Breaky Heart.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

Adulthood is wild. One day I’m transferring money to my savings account, and three days later, I’m transferring it out to save myself.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

Why is it cute when a baby falls asleep clutching a bottle. Yet, when I do it, it’s “concerning”?

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

You can tell it’s laundry day because I’m wearing flippers and a Viking helmet.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

I tried selling my soul to the devil, and he said no.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

I don’t like being asked “are you at home?” Please expand further so I can know whether I’m at home or not.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

355 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,624

Funny Quotes Topics

17,675

Funny Quotes Images

15,624

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,548

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

If the number 666 is considered evil, then technically, 25.8069758 is the root of all evil.

Just landed via TikTok:

Meteorologist: It’s going to get even hotter. Me, on fire: WHAT?

Breaking via Reddit:

If we keep saving daylight, daylight will never learn to save itself.

Shared recently on Reddit:

If I’m giving you attention, feel blessed. My real passion is ignoring people.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I’ve tasted long-term relationships, I’ve tasted casual dating. I highly recommend focusing on your career and going to sleep before 9 p.m. ..!

Spotted on Pinterest:

I’ve shouted so much sporting advice from my sofa already this summer. It’s very tiring but hopefully it’s helping.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

If you’re wondering how motherhood is going, I’m watching a TV show and someone is in traction with a full body cast and I sighed and said “That looks so relaxing”

Just shared via Facebook:

We’re putting that movie you love back in theaters on one random Wednesday — and we’re not gonna tell you until Tuesday.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

In an effort to keep our house clean before Thanksgiving, I’ve asked my family to go live somewhere else.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Need a dimly lit cocktail date with a gaze so lustful it causes God to draft up another sin.

The Face ID on my phone won’t work until it sees the loss of hope in my eyes.

5 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When your phone knows your Monday blues better than your therapist 😅📱👀

eyes, face, Face ID, frustration, hope, humor, ID, loss, loss of hope, phone, technology, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The dumbest person you know is being told, “You’re absolutely right!” by ChatGPT.

2 months ago

absolutely, AI, AI response, being, ChatGPT, conversation, dumb, dumb person, dumbest, humor, know, person, response, right, sarcasm, told
Nothing says entitlement like a goose family crossing the road.

2 months ago

animals, crossing, entitlement, family, goose, humor, nature, nothing, road, sarcasm
Hell, yes, I work out. Somebody has to support the ibuprofen industry.

3 months ago

exercise, fitness, hell, humor, i, ibuprofen, pain, pain relief, relief, somebody, support, work, workout, yes
The delivery guy absolutely hates it when I call him my pizza mule.

2 months ago

absolutely, call, delivery, food, guy, humor, i, joke, joke about delivery person, mule, person, pizza, pizza delivery, playful
Back to work after the long holiday weekend, so you’re finally away from the relatives you don’t like, and back with the co-workers you don’t like.

2 months ago

after, away, back, back to work, co-workers, coworkers, family, holiday, humor, office, relatif, sarcasm, weekend, work
I’ll bet the guy who invented the snooze button never invented anything else.

2 months ago

button, creativity, guy, humor, inventor, irony, procrastination, sleep, snooze, snooze button

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

49 shares on Snapchat this month:

If I were a billionaire, I wouldn’t build rockets to escape to Mars. I would build rockets to make everyone else leave Earth.

89 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Remember when we were young and said “I’ll sleep when i’m older”? Well, now we can’t when we want to.

47 shares on Discord this month:

Kids these days are soft. I’m pretty sure I died once when I was 7, and my mom made me walk it off.

51 shares on Twitch this month:

The art of today’s art is to persuade people that it’s art.

14 shares on Telegram this month:

Getting a wife is very powerful, because you get a personal psychic that will tell you things like, “Your keys are in the gray pants in the hamper,” and “He will ultimately betray you.”

14 shares on Snapchat this month:

Last year I had no valentine, this year I also have no valentine. Consistency!

88 shares on Discord this month:

You can either have a nice evening or you can help your child with their math homework. You can’t have both.

99 shares on YouTube this month:

People will be like “there is no right or wrong way to do it” until you do it the wrong way.

86 shares on Twitch this month:

My sneeze is the reason people in the middle ages believed sneezing was caused by demon possession.

43 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sorry, I can’t come. I’m still recovering from the last time I went out.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

“She’s so self-centered”—who’s supposed to be the center of my life? You?

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

Relationship status: I’m the only one wearing my hoodies.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

I want to be so rich that when I see a spider in my house I won’t kill it, I’d buy another house.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

I need a leaf blower, but for people.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

I wonder how my close personal beloved friend Taylor Swift is doing today.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

“I don’t do politics.” Politics will do you, my brother and sister. Politics will do you like mad.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

There is literally no rule that says you have to get married and start a family. Normalize splitting a mansion with your five best friends and ten dogs.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

This is your sign to cancel all work meetings today.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

Establish dominance by dropping your panties first.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

I’m not sure how long my body can handle this “getting out of bed early in the morning” nonsense.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

USPS tracking: Step 1: We don’t think it exists. Step 2: Delivered.

Trending via Pinterest:

In the morning: Tired! At lunchtime: Tired! In the evening: Tired! In bed: “Everybody dance now!”

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

To be blocked is to be seen and to be seen is to be loved.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I love my cat, but I hope in her next life she’s reincarnated as the owner of a very whiny cat.

Live now on Reddit:

Don’t worry, baby, the back pain is because your wings are growing.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Adulting is making a phone call, even though you don’t want to.

Trending via Threads:

Boy, are you a piñata? Because I have an overwhelming urge to beat you with a stick.

Making waves on X:

Giant-sized bag of candy: I’m resealable. Me: That won’t be necessary.

Trending via Twitch:

Babysitting a pair of twin babies right now and feeding them saying “here comes the airplane”. I don’t know, just feels weird.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I only have one wish in life… For all my dreams to come true.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The Face ID on my phone won’t work until it sees the loss of hope in my eyes.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

The dumbest person you know is being told, “You’re absolutely right!” by ChatGPT.

Nothing says entitlement like a goose family crossing the road.

Hell, yes, I work out. Somebody has to support the ibuprofen industry.

The delivery guy absolutely hates it when I call him my pizza mule.

Back to work after the long holiday weekend, so you’re finally away from the relatives you don’t like, and back with the co-workers you don’t like.

I’ll bet the guy who invented the snooze button never invented anything else.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨