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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

Every time you rub your eyes, they should change color a little.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Not to brag, but I can shake your hand and forget your name simultaneously.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

Sometimes people come into your life — and they need to stop doing that.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Sure, I’m uncomfortable, but only in situations.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

November moving quicker than two lesbians who met three days ago.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

I don’t want your hoodie, I want your still-beating heart presented to me in a box.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here looking at soup recipes.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

I was feeling kinda lonely this morning so I glued a coffee cup to the top of my car so people would wave at me.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

You relax for 15 minutes after work, and next thing you know, it’s 10 p.m.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

I like when the superheroes that can fly pick up and carry the ones that can’t.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

236 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,505

Funny Quotes Topics

17,570

Funny Quotes Images

15,505

Jan 6, 2026

3,515

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Slack:

Be nice today, the world is on fire.

Just landed via X:

To whoever has my voodoo doll, please stop making her go to work.

Shared recently on Twitch:

My biggest motivation for getting out of bed in the morning is knowing that I’ll eventually be able to get back in it.

Making waves on Discord:

Today in who needs an alarm: my kid woke me up early by scream-whispering WHAT IS DUST?

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again because I have a terrible memory.

Going viral on Twitch:

I’d be less aggressive in the morning if I could drive to work in a tank.

Trending via Messenger:

I could be a masseuse, or I could just be pulling your leg.

Making waves on Discord:

The perfect number of cats is two stupid cats. Preferably siblings. But they can’t both be the same type of stupid. One needs to be stupid (dumb) and one needs to be stupid (annoying).

Just landed via Snapchat:

I am so tired ever my tiredness is tired.

Trending via Facebook:

Girl math is deactivating social media accounts to avoid only one person.

The human brain is great. It works from the second you are born and stops as soon as you start liking someone.

2 months ago

0

The human brain is great. It works from the second you are born and stops as soon as you start liking someone.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the incredible multitasking genius of the human brain! 🧠 From figuring out complex concepts to navigating social situations, it never fails to impress. But watch out folks, as soon as those butterflies flutter in your stomach, all bets are off! 🦋 Love: 1, Brain: 0. The struggle is real, folks. 😂 #BrainVsLove"

birth, born, brain, great, human, humor, liking, love, relationships, second, someone, soon, start, works

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

“Got milk?” Buddy, I don’t even have self-esteem.

0

2 months ago

buddy, confidence, even, got, humor, i, irony, milk, sarcasm, self-deprecation, self-esteem
If you think I’m funny, you should hear the voices in my head.

0

2 months ago

Funny, head, health, hear, humor, joke, mental, mental health, personality, should, think, voice, voices
LinkedIn: where you desperately hope that one idiot you had a drink with six years ago can somehow help get you a job.

0

2 months ago

ago, desperation, drink, help, hope, humor, idiot, job, LinkedIn, networking, past, six, where
The Princess and the Pea, except it’s a rogue hair on the inside of my shirt driving me crazy all day.

0

2 months ago

annoyance, crazy, day, discomfort, driving, except, hair, humor, inside, me, pea, princess, rogue, shirt
I made a resolution to eat better and exercise in the new year but didn’t specify which year I was referring to.

0

2 months ago

better, diet, eat, exercise, expectations, fitness, humor, i, new, new year, procrastination, resolution, time, year
I made you something special for Mother’s Day, my kid threatened.

0

2 months ago

day, family, gift, humor, i, joke, kid, mother’s, Mother’s Day, parenting, something, special, threat

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

75 shares on Telegram this month:

To quote Hamlet Act III, Scene III, Line 92 “No.”

82 shares on Pinterest this month:

I let my cat smell every wine I drink so she can get a job as a sommelier and help pay my rent.

18 shares on LinkedIn this month:

After you do your laundry, you should be allowed to get in the dryer and tumble for a little. No charge.

70 shares on Telegram this month:

After all the books are banned, they’ll move on to suggestive fruit.

65 shares on Pinterest this month:

At Christmas time, all outstanding invoices are always transferred with the reference “Hohoho”.

77 shares on Telegram this month:

I would like to see the USA go metric before I die, just so I can enjoy the outrage that would follow.

84 shares on Facebook this month:

Bears and worms have almost nothing in common. But gummy bears and gummy worms? Very similar.

67 shares on Slack this month:

Kanye is pretty mean for someone with ‘yay’ in their name.

60 shares on Messenger this month:

Laying next to my charger waiting for my phone to die, that’s how lazy I am.

69 shares on TikTok this month:

Your nose is in the middle of your face because it is the scenter.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish I was born into wealth so I could have a nice 1-bedroom apartment.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Whoops, accidentally said I couldn’t make it before they even said the date.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Ever think vampires just lied about hating garlic, now we’re just out here seasoning ourselves for them?

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Smoking weed and watching music videos as the hangout is a lost art.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

We literally used to write an essay by hand.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite part about having a Peloton is telling people I have a Peloton.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

A person that weights 200 pounds on Earth weighs 76 pounds on Mars. So I’m not overweight, I’m on the wrong planet.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Unfortunately, I do enjoy watching the downfall of people who did me wrong.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s cool how seeing a less flattering photo of an attractive friend does not change my perception of them at all, but seeing one of myself makes me want to jump off a bridge.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t blame a clown for acting like a clown. Ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

236 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,505

Funny Quotes Topics

17,570

Funny Quotes Images

15,505

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,568

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

My summer body is just my winter body with better lighting.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

I’m either at work, going to work, coming home from work, sleeping for work, getting ready for work, or thinking about work.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

The PhD student is someone who foregoes their current happiness in order to forego future happiness.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

My therapist said I should face my fears. So I turned my phone back on.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

I’m far too underqualified for adult life, and I feel like I was promoted to manager far too quickly.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

We all have that one coworker whose sole purpose is to reduce our life expectancy by ten years.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

Very disappointed by the symbolism of last night’s dream. Just really obvious, derivative stuff.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

The best part of the relationship is before you meet them, and you’re single.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

So cool that avocados come with those little wooden balls inside, I think I have collected the whole set.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Okay, new plan, I’m going to marry a Kardashian.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Pinterest:

Sorry I can’t come today. My sister’s friend’s mother’s grandpa’s brother’s grandson’s uncle’s fish died, and it was tragic.

Shared recently on X:

I used to eat my feelings but now it’s so expensive, I might as well go to therapy.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

These weekends are starting to feel as long as a lunch break.

Just shared via X:

Literally no one understands something more completely than a woman in a meeting who starts a question with “Just so I understand …”

Shared recently on YouTube:

Don’t worry, darling, you won’t break me. Someone already beat you to it.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Please just wait until my mating ritual is over before you decide.

Going viral on Messenger:

There’s nothing like sitting by an open fire and watching the evidence burn.

Going viral on Twitch:

I think social media is marvellous. You type your thoughts into it, and then insane people let you know if they like them or not.

Just shared via Discord:

This economy requires two hustlers working together – not a hustler and a leech. It’s too expensive to be out here carrying dead weight.

Making waves on Pinterest:

All soups are gazpacho if you’re lazy enough.

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