Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Actually, this email could’ve been a meeting. We could’ve spent an hour on the clock talking shit and gossiping. Someone could’ve brought bagels.
  • There needs to be a separate grocery store for people who actually know what they’re doing.
  • Camping? No, thank you. If I wanted to sleep outside, I wouldn’t pay my mortgage.
  • A general rule of parenting: if you’re having a great day, the day isn’t old enough yet.
  • My robot vacuum and I are cut from the same cloth. When we see a line of dirt on the kitchen floor, we just spin around and go the other way.
  • Accidentally manifested an emotionally intelligent man that is hot and can cook. We’re currently staring at each other.