Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

My only chance at a big house in the country is if I become a rescue dog.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

I need you to put the fun in refund!

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

No one ever talks about the 6th love language (being annoying).

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

My most boomer belief is that you can often get a malfunctioning appliance to work again by slapping it.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

Do you think they’re called cough drops because when you cough really hard they drop out of your mouth onto the floor?

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

I was born tired, and I will die tired. If I ever tell you I’m not tired, I’m probably lying.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

Don’t you hate it when you offer help and the other person says yes?

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

I like to think of myself as an onion. Peel back the many layers and deep down inside you’ll find a smaller, more anxious onion.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

Today, I’m going to give it my almost.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

Someone at my job mentioned severance, and I was like, “Oh my God, I love that show,” and they said, “No, I’m about to get fired.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,700

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

I don’t mind being the villain in your story because you’re a clown in mine.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Nothing bores me like twins who don’t look alike, you should’ve just dropped later if you’re not going to participate.

Spotted on Slack:

Pepsi & Coca-Cola can’t even be in the same restaurant… and we want world peace.

Seen just now on Threads:

I’m not saying I’m old, but when I was in school, we made our parents ashtrays for Christmas.

Spotted on TikTok:

People always ask me “Do you believe in God?” and I say of course it’s important to have self-belief.

Just shared via TikTok:

Apparently “ew no” is not an acceptable way to tell my boss I don’t want more responsibility at work.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I only go for nature walks with people I can outrun.

Just shared via Facebook:

I’ve had 50 birthdays in a row without being arrested, which I’d say is an impressive streak!

Shared recently on Telegram:

Adulthood will turn Gmail into part of your social media routine.

Seen just now on Slack:

People are like lottery tickets, most of them are losers.

The Midwest urge to have a drink on a patio as soon as it’s nice out.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When the Midwest calls, you better answer with a cold one in hand! 🍹🌞🍻 #PatioGoals

activity, drink, leisure, Midwest, nice, nice weather, outdoor, patio, relaxation, social, social activity, soon, urge, weather

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My husband doesn’t find it nearly as amusing as I do when I sing, “Someday My Prince Will Come,” while I’m cleaning.

0

2 months ago

amusement, amusing, chores, cleaning, humor, husband, i, marriage, prince, princess, sing, singing, someday, song, while
If I could have immunity to anything I would pick calories.

0

2 months ago

calory, diet, food, humor, i, immunity, pick
Thinking the bodega owner likes you is exactly the same as thinking the stripper likes you.

0

2 months ago

bodega, exactly, humor, likes, misunderstanding, owner, perception, relationship, same, stripper, thinking
I can’t tell if I need coffee, a hug, or to just go live in the woods forever.

0

5 months ago

coffee, escape, exhaustion, forever, hug, humor, i, just, live, need, self-care, solitude, stress, tell, woods
I am such a fun person and so easy to get along with as long as the layout I have secretly imagined for the entire day goes exactly as I planned it without variation or interruption.

0

2 months ago

along, am, day, easy, exactly, expectations, fun, fun person, humor, i, imagination, interruption, layout, person, planned, planning, variation
You know who else works in mysterious ways? Me.

0

6 months ago

else, humor, know, me, mysterious, mystery, self-reference, ways, work, works

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

44 shares on Messenger this month:

I be having full arguments in my head, then walk around mad like someone actually said something to me.

31 shares on Facebook this month:

I love unfollowing people. You have displeased me for the last time. Leave my sight.

38 shares on Facebook this month:

Girls expect handwritten letters from guys who copy birthday wishes from ChatGPT.

97 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sex is cool but have you ever had a king size bed all to yourself.

71 shares on X this month:

The trick of life is to get the sports car before you have to grunt getting in and out of it.

70 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Going to the beach as a feet guy must be insane.

26 shares on Messenger this month:

Anyone who thinks things have got so bad that they can only get better is showing a remarkable lack of imagination.

35 shares on WeChat this month:

Do you guys remember when we had to share one desktop computer wіth the whole famіly?

79 shares on Slack this month:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here pumping gas until the dollar amount ends with 0.

17 shares on YouTube this month:

He just walked right into my heart and switched on the lights.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

A moment of silence for everything I have to do but am not doing.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

Your honor, my client doesn’t like jail.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

To cut the long story short, I have spent all my money.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

When I trip, I always look back to see who or what did it, because it couldn’t have possibly been my fault.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

All I know for sure is that I could be wrong.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

“I’m great at saving money, as long as I don’t go anywhere, see anyone, or open my eyes.”

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

You’re a ghost driving a meat-coated skeleton made from stardust, riding a rock, hurtling through space. Fear nothing.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Due to inflation, you can now eat food that has been on the floor for up to 7.3 seconds.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

I wish I was a cat, because the fatter you are, the more people like you.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

The way my phone’s facial recognition pretends not to recognize me, you’d think I dated it.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

Dates are weird, like, okay I guess I’ll dress up for my romantic interview.

Trending via Reddit:

Work beers should be a daily thing.

Live now on Facebook:

Stores should accept “I bought this while depressed” as a valid reason for a return.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Sunday without HBO feels like a meal without carbs — empty and deeply wrong.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Parenthood is so crazy. We’re really out here getting bullied by the people we made.

Going viral on YouTube:

An evil genius rising to a position of power is bad but it makes sense at least. Feels insulting we’re constantly seeing evil idiots doing it instead.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Just got revenge on someone who wronged me many, many years ago. Never relax, I’m coming.

Spotted on YouTube:

It’s crazy how genuinely entertaining it is to stare into an open fire. That’s some real epigenetic memory shit.

Trending via Telegram:

Google AI is awesome because it kills the planet and doesn’t work.

Just shared via Threads:

When you decorate your whole house for Christmas, what you’re really saying is “I’m not going to dust for at least a month.”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The Midwest urge to have a drink on a patio as soon as it’s nice out.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

My husband doesn’t find it nearly as amusing as I do when I sing, “Someday My Prince Will Come,” while I’m cleaning.

If I could have immunity to anything I would pick calories.

Thinking the bodega owner likes you is exactly the same as thinking the stripper likes you.

I can’t tell if I need coffee, a hug, or to just go live in the woods forever.

I am such a fun person and so easy to get along with as long as the layout I have secretly imagined for the entire day goes exactly as I planned it without variation or interruption.

You know who else works in mysterious ways? Me.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨