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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

At this point, I’m rooting for the aliens.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

I really thought impromptu dance-offs were going to be more common.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Before Facebook, we would hold people hostage inside our homes by showing them photo albums of our vacation.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

Scratching the mosquito bite on my foot? Literally orgasmic. This is the kind of stuff that the government doesn’t want you to know.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

I speak for everyone when I say that finding the balance between watching movies, watching TV shows, and playing video games is harder than any job.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

Thinking of starting a true crime podcast. Gotta explain this search history somehow.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

Cleaning your glasses is like changing from 360p to 1080p.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

I was about to organise my closet, but I then I found what I was looking for.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Instead of presents this year, I’m giving everyone my opinion. Get excited!

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

I try to find the good in every situation. Wait, no – that was a typo. Food. I try to find the food in every situation.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,372

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Threads:

“Got milk?” Buddy, I don’t even have self-esteem.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Having a mom who cooks good food is such a big flex.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Anyone else smile at old people just to show that you’re one of the good ones.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Dear autocorrect, that’s not what I was trying to say. I’m getting tired of your shirt.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Have an early flight tomorrow, so naturally I’m going to stay up late tonight and be weird in my room.

Trending via WeChat:

Parents be like “Boys are easier,” and then their daughter has to save the family from ruin.

Just landed via Reddit:

Silk is a crazy material. “I like your shirt,” thanks. It came out of a bug.

Spotted on Snapchat:

French is bullshit. They keep changing the translation of ‘soup du jour’ each day.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

The sound of a buzzing fly is enough to ruin my whole mood.

Making waves on X:

I’m not good with plants or people, but I am good with books and buffets.

The more water you drink, the more bathroom breaks, the less you work. Stay hydrated.

3 weeks ago

Witty water-drinking joke about bathroom breaks and productivity, humorous and playful.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Making waves in productivity one bathroom break at a time! 🚰🚽💦

bathroom, breaks, drink, health, humor, hydrated, hydration, less, productivity, stay, staying, staying hydrated, water, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

15 shares on Discord this month:

I’m the ick in fantastic.

75 shares on X this month:

You’ll never see Asian parents kissing, hugging, or in any form of romance, but boom, 5 children.

86 shares on Threads this month:

“This isn’t going to end well for you.” Me, alone in the house, to the cake on the counter.

91 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My dog is quite vain. Whenever the doorbell rings, he thinks it’s for him.

20 shares on WeChat this month:

Not going is the new leaving early.

24 shares on YouTube this month:

Imagine hating on me and I’m just sitting there in the corner, in the spotlight, losing my religion.

54 shares on Threads this month:

If you get injured playing peekaboo, you end up in the ICU.

68 shares on Snapchat this month:

Girls don’t actually shop. We just walk round touching the clothes saying ‘this is cute’.

59 shares on Threads this month:

A good French onion soup will have you acting like a pervert.

97 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Just because I’m smiling doesn’t mean I like you, I might be picturing you on fire.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

People my age are doing so much, and I’m just at home reliving the same day over and over again.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Dentist appointments are so weird. “Hi, nice to meet you, could you root around in my mouth for a bit?”

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

In six days God created heaven and earth. On the seventh day, in the interests of balance, the BBC interviewed Satan.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

You befriend a guy and a few days later he’s like “I wanna talk to you about something”. Please, God, let it be about the economy.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Dudes get a MacBook, and all of a sudden, they got work to do in public places.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

Okay, I’ve proved I’m not a robot, now you prove you’re not a human.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

Biggest flex is when your friend’s mom uses you as a good example.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

As a parent you get to see just how much a baby accomplishes in its first year of life. Because you’re awake for all of it.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

Honestly, I don’t even play an active role in my life any more. Things just happen and I’m like “I guess this is what we’re doing now.”

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

This time last night, there was a spider so big in my bathroom it put me under a glass on a postcard and carried me out.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

You ever wake up in the morning and your first thought is ‘I can’t wait to go to bed tonight’?

Just shared via Twitch:

We keep a potato masher in a drawer because sometimes it’s fun to not be able to open that drawer.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Went for a run this morning. That bee was huge!

Seen just now on Messenger:

So, if you are too tired to speak, sit next to me, because I am fluent in silence.

Just landed via Slack:

Please don’t ever speak to me about math. I’ve moved on.

Just landed via Telegram:

This place was really tidy yesterday. It’s a shame you missed it.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Sundays are no place for pants or responsibility.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Good morning to everyone who doesn’t get on my nerves.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Plot Twist: Your taxes cheated on you.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Why a bug would spend such a long fraction of its short life immobile on my ceiling beats me.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The more water you drink, the more bathroom breaks, the less you work. Stay hydrated.

Just came back from my walk, and I was right about everything.

My husband loves it when he orders fries, I say I don’t want any, and then I swoop in on his like a seagull at the beach.

Once you realize I’m an idiot, my posts start to make a lot more sense.

Jeans have the tendency of looking neat when you’re about to wash them.

I don’t understand why bugs come inside when they have a whole outside to themselves.

I simply accept my extreme loneliness as punishment for something I did in a past life, and don’t worry about it.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The more water you drink, the more bathroom breaks, the less you work. Stay hydrated.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Just came back from my walk, and I was right about everything.

My husband loves it when he orders fries, I say I don’t want any, and then I swoop in on his like a seagull at the beach.

Once you realize I’m an idiot, my posts start to make a lot more sense.

Jeans have the tendency of looking neat when you’re about to wash them.

I don’t understand why bugs come inside when they have a whole outside to themselves.

I simply accept my extreme loneliness as punishment for something I did in a past life, and don’t worry about it.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨