Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

I’ve got a soft heart and a savage mouth. I’m like a Hallmark card written by Gordon Ramsay.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

One day you’re young and fun, and the next thing you know, you’re staring out of a window for no reason.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

I love being left to my own devices. It’s like yeah, these are my devices.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

“You smell so good!” Okay, so kiss me.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

I’m now at the age where happy hour is a nap.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

The 10 minutes I spend on my mobile before I go to sleep are the best 3 hours of my day.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

When I die, throw me on Mount Everest so it looks like I was trying to do something.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

How am I supposed to relax when there are things?

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

Toddlers: the brutally honest roommates nobody asked for!

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

Everyone wants the bagel to be everything, but no one asks if the bagel needs anything.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

218 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,487

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,487

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,339

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

Welcome to your 50’s; you can have a really good laugh at everyone moaning about their aches and pains in their 30’s.

Spotted on Slack:

Receipts are like: Take this tiny piece of paper home with you and throw it away.

Going bananas on Slack:

Men used to go to war, now they drinking matcha.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

What are some good jobs for someone with no passions, interests, motivation, social skills, or strengths?

Shared recently on WeChat:

I went to clean bathroom and I’m 99% sure my kids shoot their toothpaste out of a cannon.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I got a lot of Jedi advice for somebody who could be turned to the dark side by moderate traffic.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

The cool thing about ignoring a notification is being surprised to see it over and over again.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all: I watched Rebel Moon 2 and the Netflix app worked well. Showed me the entire movie. In color.

Just landed via Snapchat:

You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That’s common sense leaving your body.

Shared recently on Twitch:

How long do you actually have to wear a muscle shirt until you get muscles?

The most disturbing thing about waking up at 4 a.m. is realizing some people do this on purpose so they can exercise.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Waking up before the sun just to work out? I thought those were horror stories, not fitness plans! 🌞🏃‍♂️😴

4, 4 a.m., a.m., am, disturbing, early, early riser, exercise, humor, morning, morning routine, most, people, purpose, riser, routine, thing, waking, waking up

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

“I’m not afraid to admit when I’m wrong. For example, I thought it was a good idea to leave the house today, which, as it turns out, was a terrible mistake.”

0

2 months ago

admission, admit, afraid, bad, bad decision, daily, daily life, decision, example, good, house, humor, i, idea, irony, leave, leaving, leaving house, life, mistake, self-deprecation, terrible, thought, today, wrong
Roses are red. Pizza sauce is too. I ordered a large. And none of it’s for you.

0

2 months ago

food, humor, i, large, none, pizza, poem, red, relationship, roses, roses are red, sauce, snack, too
The trick is to not let people know how weird you are until it’s too late for them to back out.

0

2 months ago

back, back out, humor, late, people, personality, relationship, surprise, trick, weird
If a billionaire is telling you to vote for someone, it’s probably in your best interest to vote for the other person.

0

2 months ago

advice, best, billionaire, election, humor, interest, person, politician, sarcasm, someone, telling, vote
You’re 25, stressing like you’re 40, because you want to be rich before 30, am I right?

0

6 months ago

25, 30, 40, adult, age, am, ambition, before, financial, financial pressure, goal, humor, i, life, life goal, pressure, rich, right, stress, want, wealth, young, young adult
Before I start seeing a psychiatrist, does anyone like me crazy?

0

2 months ago

before, crazy, i, me, psychiatrist, question, seeing, start

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

26 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Much like a candle, I was tall when I was young, but I get shorter as I grow old.

36 shares on Facebook this month:

Almost all of my bad decisions are food-related.

41 shares on Slack this month:

There is certainly no life on other planets. Otherwise our government would have sent money there long ago.

19 shares on Reddit this month:

You seem really unhinged, we should grab coffee sometime.

54 shares on Twitch this month:

I used to party all night. Now I check the weather forecast for the next day to see if it’s a good laundry day.

42 shares on Discord this month:

I hope all of you get laid and not laid off this year. Amen.

86 shares on WeChat this month:

Suicide is never the answer, you gotta outlive your enemies.

33 shares on Threads this month:

Diet tip: Your pants can’t get too tight if you never wear any.

51 shares on Threads this month:

I could low-key really use a wish right now.

69 shares on X this month:

A dating app called Unhinged where you agree to meet up and fight each other.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

A piece of chocolate contains just enough energy to take another one.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

Anyone who deals with customers on a professional basis should be allowed to hand out one face slap per day.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

My teen believed the washing machine when it said it only had one minute left, and oh, how I laughed and laughed.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

I miss when men had big hair, louder feelings, and leaned over cars to declare their love.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Eating fast food shouldn’t count for calories because it’s not around long enough.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I’ll pause a YouTube video to scroll on reels. I’m not sure if I’ll ever be able to be loved genuinely.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

Withholding sex from you people isn’t working.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

Cheer up! Your biggest mistake is probably still ahead of you.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

I can do a lot of things, but listening to someone chew is not one of them.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

Kids today will never understand how many ninjas there were in the 1980s.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Instagram:

The moon is literally dragging the oceans around, and you think your body shouldn’t feel it?

Making waves on Slack:

Bold of me to constantly use the phrase “no worries!” when I am, in fact, constantly full of many worries.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Dates are weird, like, okay I guess I’ll dress up for my romantic interview.

Trending via Threads:

When someone asks me why I’m in a wheelchair, I want to say something ridiculous like, “I’m not standing up until I’ve saved a million.”

Just shared via WeChat:

Pirate: walks the plank. Someone’s dad: Is this teak?

Just shared via LinkedIn:

That stupid look on my face is my face.

Going bananas on Reddit:

I never used to worry about death but now I’m terrified it will break my winning Wordle streak.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

If at first you don’t succeed, try two more times so your failure is statistically significant.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Nobody rots in bed like I do.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Trying to watch a superhero movie without stressing about the infrastructure damage to the city.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The most disturbing thing about waking up at 4 a.m. is realizing some people do this on purpose so they can exercise.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

“I’m not afraid to admit when I’m wrong. For example, I thought it was a good idea to leave the house today, which, as it turns out, was a terrible mistake.”

Roses are red. Pizza sauce is too. I ordered a large. And none of it’s for you.

The trick is to not let people know how weird you are until it’s too late for them to back out.

If a billionaire is telling you to vote for someone, it’s probably in your best interest to vote for the other person.

You’re 25, stressing like you’re 40, because you want to be rich before 30, am I right?

Before I start seeing a psychiatrist, does anyone like me crazy?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨