Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Are people born with photographic memories or do they take time to develop?

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

The only thing I worry about when I’m in the restroom is if people are washing their hands or not.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

A bridesmaid, but to carry the end of my CVS receipt.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

My life is based on a true story.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Interviewer: Why do you want to work in customer service? Me: Well, I’m really good at apologizing for things that aren’t my fault.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

Why is there so much day left at the end of my patience?

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

What are cats even trying to do?

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

Remember when tweets were like: party rocking with a mouse tonight. Piece of cheese gonna have a big bite.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Sorry I’m late. It’s just because of who I am as a person.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

If I ever find out who stole my identity, I’ll pay all their debts and ruin their credit score just for fun.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,474

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

This is your sign to cancel all work meetings today.

Going viral on Snapchat:

My therapist is fluffy and walks on four paws.

Going viral on Instagram:

And is this “year-end bonus” in the room with us right now?

Trending via YouTube:

My kids are smart but sometimes they say dumb stuff like, “Mom, why do you always buy Snickers when you’re the only one who likes them?”

Seen just now on Discord:

Imagine surviving Covid 19 and then China releases Covid 19S Plus Pro.

Just landed via Reddit:

Googling symptoms until you cry.

Just landed via Pinterest:

School reunion is a scam… nobody is missing anyone, they just want to know whether you have made it in life or not.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

“Devil’s advocate” implies the existence of heaven’s prosecutor.

Just landed via Slack:

“It can’t get any worse than this”, I lie to myself knowing it will absolutely get worse.

Seen just now on Discord:

“The heart wants what the heart wants,” I whisper as I slowly walk up to the dessert table.

The older I get, the more I realize that being rushed by someone is a form of manipulation.

2 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When my coffee takes longer than me to get ready, I know it's time to start a protest against morning manipulation! ☕⏰😆

age, being, form, humor, i, lesson, life, life lesson, manipulation, older, realization, realize, rush, someone

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m literally overstimulated with life. I need to scream on top of a mountain.

0

4 months ago

emotional, emotional release, frustration, humor, i, life, literally, mountain, need, overstimulation, release, relief, scream, stress, stress relief, top
I don’t want to brag but I found a recipe online, and then within three weeks not only made the recipe, but closed the tab on my browser.

0

2 months ago

achievement, brag, browser, closed, cooking, found, humor, i, online, only, procrastination, recipe, success, tab, three, want, weeks
When the devil couldn’t reach me, he made my brain my biggest enemy.

0

2 months ago

brain, devil, enemy, humor, irony, me, mental, mental struggle, reach, self sabotage, struggle
Overthinking should at least burn calories.

0

2 months ago

burn, calory, exercise, humor, joke, least, overthinking, should, wit
Me driving at night: I hope this is the road!

0

2 months ago

adventure, driving, hope, humor, i, me, night, road, uncertainty
This coffee isn’t working. Think I need holy water.

0

2 months ago

addiction, caffeine, coffee, coffee addiction, coffee joke, holy, holy water, humor, i, joke, morning, morning routine, need, routine, think, water, working

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

62 shares on Threads this month:

Sorry I missed your call. I saw that you were calling and immediately threw my phone into an active volcano.

65 shares on Snapchat this month:

A man’s home is his castle, but his garage is his sanctuary.

75 shares on WhatsApp this month:

What must a pancake think when it’s being flipped? Doubtless something jolly.

78 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Nobody cleans better than someone who’s pissed off.

96 shares on WeChat this month:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but that much caffeine can’t be good for you.

15 shares on Discord this month:

It’s scary when the washing machine spins really fast.

61 shares on Pinterest this month:

I don’t need Halloween. I have strange characters around me all year round.

25 shares on Instagram this month:

I am not in a good place, geographically.

85 shares on Slack this month:

Sometimes a little rudeness to establish that you don’t fancy nonsense is really important.

14 shares on WeChat this month:

Picking up the hem of my baggy pants to walk up the stairs like it’s a ballgown.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

If Keith Richards survived the ’70s, the ’80s, and 1.2 million Marlboros, I can probably survive anything.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Watermelon. The fruit that comes with a workout.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

Can’t, trying to piece together today’s news from social media posts.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

One big difference between men and women is that if a woman says “Smell this,” it usually smells nice.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

Asbestos? I’m doing asbestos I can.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

Hello, my voicemail is currently unavailable. To leave a message please speak slowly and clearly into the nearest toaster.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

When one door closes, lock it securely, along with all your other doors and windows, before any inspirational quotes get in.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

This is a horrible time in history to be a decent human being.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

If my toddler doesn’t sleep again tonight, I’m running away into the forest.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

I realized Americans were dramatics the day I found out 200 lb is just 90 kg.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

“Easy like Sunday morning” is something people with no kids say.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

One day you’re young and carefree and the next, you’re preheating the bathroom before you go in for a shower.

Just landed via Instagram:

Idiocracy wasn’t supposed to be a documentary.

Going viral on Reddit:

JFK is the perfect name for this airport because it’s a bloody headache.

Trending via Discord:

I know you miss me. The tarot lady on TikTok just told me.

Seen just now on TikTok:

My wife is refusing to bring me a beer. That’s it, gonna text her and say “I cannot believe how lazy you are”.

Seen just now on WeChat:

How many filters does it take before it’s technically a painting?

Going bananas on X:

Oh, that gap on my resume is from when I was the architect of my own hell.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I am cutting contact with my 3-year-old narcissist nephew.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The older I get, the more I realize that being rushed by someone is a form of manipulation.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I’m literally overstimulated with life. I need to scream on top of a mountain.

I don’t want to brag but I found a recipe online, and then within three weeks not only made the recipe, but closed the tab on my browser.

When the devil couldn’t reach me, he made my brain my biggest enemy.

Overthinking should at least burn calories.

Me driving at night: I hope this is the road!

This coffee isn’t working. Think I need holy water.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨