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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

Out of sheer boredom, I opened the front door and rang the doorbell. I was so happy.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

Dollar Tree need to just go ahead and change the name to Tree of Unexpected Prices.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

All my passwords are protected by short term memory loss.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

My neighbor said he heard me having sex today but it was just me standing in front of my air conditioner.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

Spiders are the only web developers who love finding bugs.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

The idea that the zombies in the 28 Days series exist entirely in Britain is genuinely hilarious. The rest of the world saw that and was like, “Yeah, they can handle it on their own.”

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

There’s protein in foods that have never been protein before.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Sometime you meet such a prince that you’d rather marry the horse.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

I’m at the age where using the wrong pillow makes you feel like you broke your neck.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

If pigeons could talk, they would bum a cigarette.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,673

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

It’s crazy that we’re closer to the year 3000 then I am to finding love.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Having to write cover letters is so dumb. Do you really believe my dream ever since I was a little girl was to work for you? No. It was to ride a pony on a funky space rainbow. Grow up.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Tested positive for being single af

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Many people mistakenly believe that diamond is the hardest substance on earth, but in reality it is my husband’s stubborn head.

Just shared via Telegram:

You can always gauge my mood by the type of animal videos I share: sweet puppy videos or a cat smacking the shit out of someone.

Just shared via Slack:

The crematorium is my last hope for a hot body.

Just shared via WeChat:

Monday morning looks like Jack Nicholson breaking through the door in The Shining.

Trending via Slack:

I composed this post in a way that only the sexy can read it, so congratulations.

Going viral on Messenger:

Managed to empty the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something there takes on a life of its own.

The problem is that younger me didn’t account for the fact that there’d be an older me.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Respect to younger me for the optimism, but now I'm just budgeting for my morning stiffness 😅🧓🔮

account, aging, fact, growth, hindsight, me, older, older me, personal, personal growth, problem, self-reflection, time, younger, younger me

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

One of the most embarrassing things in the world: walking downhill.

0

2 months ago

awkward, downhill, embarrassing, embarrassment, humor, things, walking, world
Until further notice the days of the week are now called thisday, thatday, otherday, someday, yesterday, today and nextday!

0

2 months ago

creativity, day, humor, naming, nextday, otherday, someday, thatday, thisday, time, today, week, yesterday
I assume fish have beautiful names for eachother, unpronounceable by human tongues.

0

2 months ago

assume, beautiful, beauty, fish, human, humor, i, names, tongues, unpronounceable
Olympic gymnast: does the most amazing thing I have ever seen in my entire life. Announcer: Oh dear, that will be a point deduction.

0

2 months ago

amazing, announcer, competition, deduction, ever, gymnast, humor, i, life, oh, Olympic, point, point deduction, seen, sports, thing
Toddlers will take your last nerve, deep fry it and eat it for breakfast.

0

2 months ago

breakfast, deep, deep fry, eat, exhaustion, fry, humor, last, last nerve, nerve, parenting, take, toddler
Marriage is for life. But when that was first said, life was shorter.

0

2 months ago

commitment, humor, irony, life, longevity, marriage, relationship, said, shorter

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

89 shares on Threads this month:

It’s actually scary how your whole life depends on how well you did as a teenager.

28 shares on Snapchat this month:

69% of people find something dirty in every sentence.

94 shares on Telegram this month:

It’s like 10,000 Tupperwares when all you need is a lid.

10 shares on WeChat this month:

Breaking News: Jenny on Facebook is having salad for dinner tonight.

95 shares on Twitch this month:

Many men also have a walk-in closet. For them, it’s just called a floor.

37 shares on Twitch this month:

I am at my Thanksgiving table observing personality disorders that have not been identified yet.

67 shares on Reddit this month:

I usually start exploring the abyss around 7 p.m.

79 shares on Instagram this month:

“What’s wrong with you?” Right now or in general?

22 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sorry boys, but I’ve already got my eyes on a guy who’s not interested.

92 shares on Snapchat this month:

Please have a seat and witness my self-destruction firsthand.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

The fact that I procrastinate and still get the job done is the reason I still procrastinate.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

Peeling a sweaty sports bra off counts as aerobic exercise, right?

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

I feel sorry for dogs. They learnt to fetch newspapers, but newspapers are dying. Killed by an internet driven by cats.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

I’m not humiliating myself here for 3 likes. 10 maybe but not 3.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

I feel like I’m in jail when I’m around unfunny people for too long.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

If ads were a person, it would be that one neighbor who won’t stop talking to you at the most inconvenient of times.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Sorry, can’t make it, just remembered I don’t want to.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

100% of all babіes are unemployed. Pathetіc.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Tupperware is a fun way to store your leftovers until you throw them away.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

Money saved by using public transport instead of an Uber is paid for with your time and mental health instead.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on X:

My superpower is holding onto stuff for years and throwing it away exactly one week before I need it.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Met a microbiologist once. They’re a lot bigger than I imagined.

Live now on Slack:

If we keep saving daylight, daylight will never learn to save itself.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

So crazy to just be living every day through the slow-motion car crash of escalating fascism, and it’s still like, “Aww, man, I have to go to the dentist.”

Shared recently on Reddit:

Her idea of a romantic setting is one that has a diamond in it.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I’m willing to do anything for a job except write a cover letter.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Even worse than the buzzing of the mosquitoes is the moment when it suddenly stops.

Spotted on TikTok:

One day you’ll find someone who’s obsessed with you. It’ll probably be a demon but that’s what it is.

Going viral on Twitch:

You are the wind beneath my overly sensitive, motion-activated floodlight.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Nobody at this train station knows that there’s a hole in my sock.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The problem is that younger me didn’t account for the fact that there’d be an older me.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

One of the most embarrassing things in the world: walking downhill.

Until further notice the days of the week are now called thisday, thatday, otherday, someday, yesterday, today and nextday!

I assume fish have beautiful names for eachother, unpronounceable by human tongues.

Olympic gymnast: does the most amazing thing I have ever seen in my entire life. Announcer: Oh dear, that will be a point deduction.

Toddlers will take your last nerve, deep fry it and eat it for breakfast.

Marriage is for life. But when that was first said, life was shorter.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨