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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

You should be able to call in sad to work.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

First time buying fireworks, and I wasn’t sure I’d picked the right ones until the salesman gave me a wink and high-foured me.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

I was born tired, and I will die tired. If I ever tell you I’m not tired, I’m probably lying.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

I will always be hotter than everyone who hates me.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

9am: anything is possible. 2pm: maybe tomorrow.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

People who don’t like pickles are so important because they give me their pickles.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

We should make a new internet that’s as hard to use as the old internet was, so anyone that’s too stupid to have used the internet 20 years ago can’t get on it.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

Crazy to think that even after all of these years the Titanic’s pool still has water in it.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

Nobody’s more stubborn than an Android person that won’t switch to iPhone.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you don’t need anything from Amazon today.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,226

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

I don’t really do one-night stands, but I will do, like, 3-8 months of a semi-toxic, undefined relationship that wastes my time and ruins my life.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Never say never. Unless someone asks you when you want to go camping. Then the right answer is always “Never.”

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I like my bacon like I like my men, slightly burnt and crispy, and probably killing me slowly.

Trending via Pinterest:

Has anyone noticed what it’s beginning to look a lot like?

Broadcasted on Threads:

If your family starts fighting on Thanksgiving, go live.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Just spoke to my wife while the internet was down. She seems nice. She’s a nurse apparently.

Just shared via Telegram:

Yes, money alone does not make you happy. It has to be yours too.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

You may think no one is there for you, but there’s laundry. Laundry is always there for you.

Going bananas on Discord:

Every morning when that damn alarm clock goes off, I just feel it so much: A million-dollar inheritance suits me much better than an office job.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Piñatas are a fun way to intentionally maim the guests at your party.

The problem is that younger me didn’t account for the fact that there’d be an older me.

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The problem is that younger me didn’t account for the fact that there’d be an older me.
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Commentary:
Respect to younger me for the optimism, but now I'm just budgeting for my morning stiffness 😅🧓🔮

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

22 shares on Slack this month:

People who play golf don’t concern me nearly as much as the people who watch it.

95 shares on TikTok this month:

Gay? We don’t use that word anymore. Person of rainbow.

99 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m an adult. I can do whatever I want. And yet, here I am just doing laundry, eating salads, taking antidepressants, flossing my teeth, and going on little walks. Like an IDIOT.

75 shares on Facebook this month:

When people are telling me a story about their life it often reminds me of a much better story from my life.

54 shares on YouTube this month:

(guy who’s not even that into you) I love you.

99 shares on Messenger this month:

When someone yells stop I don’t know whether it’s in the name of love, it’s Hammer time, or I should smell the flowers.

47 shares on Instagram this month:

Kids are like pancakes. The first one is always a bit strange.

47 shares on Threads this month:

When you really want to slap someone, do it and say, “Mosquito!

14 shares on X this month:

I find that age is just a number, and the older you get, the number you get.

89 shares on YouTube this month:

There’s only one way we’ll at least occasionally get normal elected officials and that’s if we pick them by random lottery.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

The way my phone’s facial recognition pretends not to recognize me, you’d think I dated it.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

If there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s being annoyed by stupidity.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I’d like to have a word with the groundhog before he starts working this year.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Wearing a condom while she’s on birth control is called two-factor authentication.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

The trick is to not let people know how weird you are until it’s too late for them to back out.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

If I ever look at my phone in the middle of a conversation with you, I’m not reading a text; I’m just looking up the definition of a word I just used a bit too confidently.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m at the age where I consider any picture of me taken in the last ten years “current.”

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Dear ads, I have the buying power of a Victorian milkmaid.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Thinking the bodega owner likes you is exactly the same as thinking the stripper likes you.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

You know shit’s about to get real when I put on yoga pants before dessert.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,358

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

Betrayal is when you’re holding a baby, and they put their arms out for someone else.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

Before the internet, going viral meant your drawing made it to the fridge, and your sibling was furious.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

I have everything you could possibly ever need in my purse, except for money.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

Requesting the Pink Panther theme song at karaoke and just standing on the stage motionless the entire time.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

I don’t understand why my cooking was garbage. I did everything right. I drank wine while I cooked. I had a hand towel over my shoulder. Literally everything right.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

Netflix subtitles be like “speaking foreign language”. Bro, translate it!

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

If anyone is still on Facebook, please check on my parents.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Sometimes my toddler throws stuff on the floor and then shouts “OH NO” and that’s kind of like what politicians do.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

Apologies for the delays. The suitcase smashing machine has broken down, so we’re having to smash suitcases by hand.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

I don’t weigh myself because most scales don’t know how heavy all the grudges I’m holding onto are.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

Everyone’s a gangster until they turn a spoon the wrong way under running water.

Trending via WeChat:

I hope this email finds you in a well.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I feel sorry for non-glasses wearers. They’ll never know the joy of cleaning them and suddenly being upgraded to the UHD package.

Trending via Slack:

I’m a “I have an appointment later, so I can’t do anything else for the rest of the day” kind of person.

Making waves on X:

“I’m depressed because there’s not enough cheese in this world to satisfy my hunger for it.”

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

When someone points at your black clothes and asks whose funeral it is, having a look around the room and saying ‘Haven’t decided yet’ is typically a good response.

Seen just now on Threads:

Terrifying if true: Her eyes lighting up a room.

Seen just now on Telegram:

She was my chai, I was her cake rusk.

Going viral on Pinterest:

It-is-what-it-is-ing my way through the collapse of civilization.

Live now on Slack:

My mayor is Muslim, my bagels are Jewish, my Dior is Christian.

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