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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

There’s no denying that I have an effect on men. Mostly migraines, but an effect nonetheless.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

Don’t flirt with me. I’ll show up at your house and start eating all your snacks.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Overthinking should at least burn calories.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

It’s the perfect time of year to focus on my indoor hobbies, like lying down in a dark room and feeling insane.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

I wish I could get a bouquet of mozzarella sticks.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

First you’re cringe, then you’re the blueprint.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

Girl talk is my favorite. You go from discussing goals to talking about shoes, to hating men, to planning a trip in six minutes.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

Brains are awesome. I wish I had one.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

This is an awful time to be an educated person.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

When people say, “Stop living in the past,” my thought in turn is, “But the music was so much better then!”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,617

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

When you have finished reading this funny quote, you will be a little closer to death than before.

Shared recently on Facebook:

The older you get, the farther away your toenails are when they need a trim.

Going viral on WeChat:

Forget a dinner date, let’s go sit in court listening to people’s cases.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

It’s almost time to put away my black summer clothes and bring out my black fall clothes.

Broadcasted on Discord:

No, babe, I love your prefrontal cortex. The fully developed ones scare me.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

“What’s wrong with you?” Right now or in general?

Seen just now on Telegram:

This is actually worse than Biff Tennan’s future.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I had a hard time coping with the divorce. I’m fine now, but at first I was almost crazy with joy.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I don’t know who is writing my story, but they got to throw in a win somewhere or put the pen down. I need a break.

Breaking via Instagram:

The word “ugly” cannot be used on women, I’m sorry. Women just can’t be ugly, that’s a boy thing.

The weather’s got more mood swings than a reality show reunion.

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The weather’s got more mood swings than a reality show reunion.
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Commentary:
"Looks like the weather's auditioning for its own reality TV drama! 🌦️🤣📺"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

78 shares on Facebook this month:

If trees offered Wi-Fi, we would plant more of them. Too bad they only produce this oxygen thing.

67 shares on Slack this month:

Rise and grind your teeth gently while ruminating over every past mistake.

87 shares on X this month:

The only thing I gained so far this year is weight.

21 shares on X this month:

Mom asked me what I was drinking the first time I got drunk and I said “breast milk” and now she’s not talking to me.

93 shares on WhatsApp this month:

How much longer do we have to keep pretending that Pilates isn’t a sex thing?

13 shares on Threads this month:

4 out 3 people struggle with math.

64 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Dogs naturally form packs, and if left undisturbed, will teach themselves how to play poker.

43 shares on Pinterest this month:

The French only eat snails because they don’t like fast food.

66 shares on Messenger this month:

We need a word for a type of person who spends all their time working to live in a city so they can be near cool things, but they don’t actually like going out.

64 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Clicked on ‘Make a reservation’ on a restaurant’s page, and it opened FaceTime and started calling them. I cannot stress enough how much I do not want that to happen.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

The October urge to live in a sleepy seaside town with a horrifying backstory.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

My superpower? Staying calm when talking to idiots.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m no doctor but I’m pretty sure this Santa-shaped chocolate oughta settle my stomach.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Never skip the footnotes – it’s here you find out who made the author angry enough to write the article.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Foo fighters still fighting foo.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

The Wi-Fi stops working for 2 minutes, and suddenly I start thinking about life.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s okay to admit you want my lips on yours.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Why do parents bust in your room like they trying to catch you cheating on them with another pair of parents or something?

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Me, seeing a man proposing to a woman in public: Hey, this guy bothering you?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I haven’t cleaned my shower in so long, it’s becoming a terrarium. Absolutely gorgeous.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,410

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

They should make a drug that recreates the feeling of having your number called earlier than expected.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

Being excited to get in bed is a different level of adulting.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

Based on the amount of laundry I wash each week, I’m starting to think there are people who live here that I haven’t met yet.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

I’m an over-explainer (I explain things too much).

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

I love the idea of a fruitarian, just morally affronted that anyone could eat a baby spinach.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

89% of the time when my husband tells me I look great, what he really means is, “We needed to leave five minutes ago.”

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

When I was in elementary school, we learned about a shape called a rhombus, and that was the last time I ever heard about that shape ever again.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

That awkward moment when someone keeps watching you while you are eating.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

Blackout curtains because I’ll decide what time it is.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

Quitting my job to pursue my true passion: not having a job.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

Me, seeing a man proposing to a woman in public: Hey, this guy bothering you?

Shared recently on Slack:

Yes, I sometimes put my cell phone down. Especially when it rings.

Just shared via Telegram:

You don’t need fun to have alcohol.

Just shared via Telegram:

With certain people, you get nauseous just hearing their name.

Making waves on Instagram:

Having children is a pyramid scheme.

Breaking via WeChat:

Seriously, how sexy was Freud’s mom?

Making waves on X:

Having a teenager is fun because the voice in my head that questions everything I do now has a friend.

Trending via Telegram:

That incredible ability of cats to only throw up on carpeted floors.

Making waves on TikTok:

I’m so desperate for a vacation that at this point I’d spend an all inclusive week at Jurassic Park.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

I told my wife to embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.

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