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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

If you respond to emails and Teams messages quickly, you can get away with basically anything at work.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

Maybe coffee is addicted to me?

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

Whoever came up with “penny for your thoughts,” “don’t nickel and dime me,” and “another day another dollar” sure knew how to coin a phrase.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

Being gracefully insane is the secret to a happy life.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

The only way to my heart is with a knife.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

I asked my dad what his favorite joke was. He said, “I can’t pick a favorite. I love you and your sister equally!”

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

I’m not even doomscrolling anymore; I’m just regular scrolling, and everything’s doomed.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

I want to live in a world where the plural of moose is mooses.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

Happiness is when you really have nothing to do with people you want absolutely nothing to do with.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Cashier: Did you find everything? Me: Did you hide something?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

782 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,944

Funny Quotes Topics

13,916

Funny Quotes Images

10,944

24 minutes ago

3,445

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Pinterest:

My back and I are definitely not the same age.

Just shared via X:

My dream is being pitted against the world’s greatest AI in a writing contest and crafting a story that’s so beautiful that I make the computer cry.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Doctors don’t really need to hit you with that rubber hammer, it’s just how they release a lil tension through the day.

Spreading quickly via X:

Just found out my asexual friend was only using me for my companionship.

Seen just now on Threads:

Because it is Friday, I will allow one beautiful woman to invite me for drinks.

Shared recently on Twitch:

How do you react when you see someone you respect on an e-scooter?

Breaking via Telegram:

I was talking to someone and combined “all good” and “no worries” by saying “all worries”, which was a lot more accurate.

Breaking via Threads:

Forget tequila, I’m at the age where you can wake up with a hangover from Netflix.

Just landed via Telegram:

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute, forget the fruit.

Broadcasted on Slack:

The first person to throw out bath water: Uh oh.

The worst part about working from home is that your real husband is also your work husband.

2 months ago

The worst part about working from home is that your real husband is also your work husband.

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Commentary:
Ah, the classic case of double duty! 😅 When your work husband starts showing up in your pajamas and your Netflix queue, you know it's time to set some boundaries. 📺💻👔 Who knew the home office came with a built-in service package—personal and professional? 😂🏡 #WorkFromHomeProblems

balance, domestic, domestic life, home, humor, husband, life, marriage, real, relationships, work, work from home, work husband, work life, work-life balance, working, workplace, workplace humor, worst

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

782 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,944

Funny Quotes Topics

13,916

Funny Quotes Images

10,944

24 minutes ago

3,432

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

My first rodeo and my last rodeo were the same rodeo.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

Listen to your body? The body that craves a lethal amount of Kinder Bueno?

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

What career is most compatible with the unemployed lifestyle?

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

I threw a ball for my dog. May be a little extravagant, but he looks great in a tux.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

I’m sorry for inventing the universe.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

The Princess and the Pea, except it’s a rogue hair on the inside of my shirt driving me crazy all day.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

I don’t understand why judges get paid so much, others judge me for free.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

I’m not super into getting older but I do like how nobody asks me to help them move anymore.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Cleaning the rocks of the earth one load of my kids’ laundry at a time.

Making waves on YouTube:

Whenever I’m with real yappers, I realize I might actually be a listener.

Making waves on Messenger:

Sorry I’m late. I was scraping the clearance tag off your Christmas present.

Just shared via WeChat:

Once again I feel like I slept in a washing machine.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Nowadays an “all-nighter” means I didn’t have to get up to pee.

Trending via Telegram:

Body: time to fall asleep. Brain: hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

My anti-theft device in my car is that it’s manual.

Live now on Threads:

Men make it so easy to hate them.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Nothing guarantees running into someone you know in public better than looking like a feral animal on two hours of sleep.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Welcome to your 40s: here’s an extra chin.

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