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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

“There’s something beautifully intimate about never speaking to a person again.”

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

I deserve a dragon after all I’ve been through.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Gonna eat birthday cake all day because it’s someone’s birthday out there, and we’re about to celebrate together, stranger.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

It’s getting very expensive to be alive.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

My parents told me I could be anything I wanted so I became unacceptable.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

I always take responsibility for my actions when there is no one else around to blame.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

iPad PR is so crazy because you think you absolutely need one until you get it.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

If you want to make your mother proud, make her my mother-in-law.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

Celery is 95% water and 100% not pizza.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

…and so ends another week of me not becoming unexpectedly rich.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,363

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I’d rather be spotted in a strip club than a Subway.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

When I like a song, I repeat it until the artist comes out and ask for water.

Trending via Discord:

Absolute worst time of year to have a secret family. Hands down.

Just landed via Threads:

I’m not saying Lois Lane is a bad investigative journalist, but my friend Greg didn’t wear glasses to work yesterday and I recognized him by lunch time.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

The amount of sleeping I’ve done over the past few days has been phenomenal. I genuinely love doing absolutely nothing.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Love it when you say or do some common sense thing and the other person has “file not found” written all over their face.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Having Twitter is just like reading the newspaper, except the newspaper is on fire and all the writers hate you.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

What I lack in moves on the dance floor, I more than make up for in dancing around a conversation.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

If you’re sleep-deprived and type the symptoms into Google, you’re as good as dead.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

The real threat to Democracy is the Bureaucracy.

The worst thing is finding out the “sweet guy” is just a lustful loser.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like Prince Charming needs a software update 😂👑💔

dating, disappointment, expectation, finding, guy, humor, just, loser, lust, personality, reality, relationship, sweet, sweet guy, thing, worst

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You give my middle finger an erection.

2 months ago

adult, adult humor, finger, give, humor, insult, joke, middle, middle finger, sarcasm, vulgar
Answering your cell when you don’t recognize the number is like picking up a hitchhiker.

2 months ago

answering, call, cell, cell phone, communication, hitchhiker, humor, joke, number, phone, phone call, picking, safety, stranger, unexpected, unexpected call, unknown, unknown number
Starting an OnlyFans, but it’s just videos of me trying to use chopsticks.

2 months ago

attempt, awkward, challenge, chopsticks, comedy, eating, food, humor, just, me, media, OnlyFans, social, social media, trying, videos
Here’s what I’ve learned since I’ve been on social media: I’m not nearly as disturbed as I thought I was.

2 months ago

disturbed, humor, i, learned, media, perspective, realization, self-reflection, social, social media, thought
I’ve got the longest to-do list for today, just need to figure out who is going to do it.

2 months ago

figure, figure out, going, humor, just, list, longest, need, procrastination, task, to-do, to-do list, today
Tons of names in my phones are “Kenny Landlord,” “Mike Electric,” or “Pete Do Not Answer,” and I just realized this is how Anglo surnames have always worked.

2 months ago

always, Anglo, answer, contacts, electric, humor, i, just, landlord, Mike, name, names, phone, phone contacts, phones, realization, surname

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

30 shares on Slack this month:

Unloading the dishwasher in the opposite direction just to feel something.

75 shares on Pinterest this month:

I am “I can’t remember the last time I went out on New Year’s Eve” old.

54 shares on TikTok this month:

Nostalgia isn’t as good as it used to be.

83 shares on Snapchat this month:

My parents didn’t raise me to order something expensive when someone else is paying.

45 shares on Telegram this month:

A social media post so confusing you turn your music down to read it.

90 shares on TikTok this month:

Nothing is worse than seeing a gorgeous girl that I’d never approach or stand a chance with and then finding out she has a boyfriend.

20 shares on Discord this month:

Parent hack: Shut your child’s bedroom door to make your house cleaner.

62 shares on Reddit this month:

The idiot’s diet is just biting your tongue.

32 shares on Pinterest this month:

Trying to eat with my left hand because I need a little excitement in my life.

24 shares on Twitch this month:

It’s a good thing that not everyone has a smartphone. We also need people who honk when the lights turn green.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

Movies in the 80s had me convinced that a main part of being a grown-up was staying late at the office and eating Chinese takeout.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

I prefer not to think before speaking. I like being as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

Some Uber rides in NYC are the same price as a JetBlue flight to Miami.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

Subtitles are for when you’re eating chips.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

The new generation will never know what heartbreak feels like with wired headphones that have a loose connection.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

That song stuck in my head is “Don’t Speak”; I have no doubt in my mind.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

Remember when downloading a song in under 5 minutes was considered progress?

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

Cutting my steak at Texas Roadhouse with my car keys.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

All the world’s a stage, and I always forget my line.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

Life can be so beautiful, you just can’t get sober.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

Today, I’m wearing pink to raise awareness for people like me who forget to separate their red laundry from their whites.

Trending via X:

Long story short, I survived.

Seen just now on Slack:

This year should be named “things I never thought could happen”.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

You don’t see guys traveling around on those seesaw-type push carts on railroad tracks anymore.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

And is the financial stability in the room with us right now?

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Been whispering “I like invented her” about my newborn every few hours.

Making waves on Instagram:

I’m not an idiot anymore, universe, please stop with the lessons.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Twitter when Franz Ferdinand got shot would have been the best day ever.

Shared recently on TikTok:

BREAKING: OpenAI to partner with OpenAI to help fund OpenAI. OpenAI up 90%.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The worst thing is finding out the “sweet guy” is just a lustful loser.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

You give my middle finger an erection.

Answering your cell when you don’t recognize the number is like picking up a hitchhiker.

Starting an OnlyFans, but it’s just videos of me trying to use chopsticks.

Here’s what I’ve learned since I’ve been on social media: I’m not nearly as disturbed as I thought I was.

I’ve got the longest to-do list for today, just need to figure out who is going to do it.

Tons of names in my phones are “Kenny Landlord,” “Mike Electric,” or “Pete Do Not Answer,” and I just realized this is how Anglo surnames have always worked.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨