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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

I enjoy a glass of wine each night for its health benefits. The other glasses are for my witty comebacks and flawless dance moves.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Been whispering “I like invented her” about my newborn every few hours.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

I love being single because how could I explain a 2 p.m. – 5 p.m. nap on a Saturday.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

You can tell me what you want, but alcohol and eye contact are a dangerous combination.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

I think my dad just eradicated a small village with his sneeze.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

Tears for Fears: Everybody wants to rule the world. Me: Some of us just want eight hours of uninterrupted sleep.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

I went downstairs to get my charger. I came back up with a bowl of ice cream and no charger.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

I’m not lazy, I just really enjoy doing nothing.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

“You changed!” Yeah, I thought three days in the same outfit was kinda pushing it.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

Is my life this bad because I didn’t forward that email to 15 people back in 2007?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,269

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Twitch:

Figure skating is so niche that sometimes I walk in the rink, and there’s an Olympic medalist there.

Spotted on Slack:

Sometimes I apologize to my car when I hit a pothole.

Trending via Pinterest:

After an hour on this team meeting I’m not wanting to be a team player anymore.

Going viral on Discord:

I bought a book on Feng Shui, but I don’t know where to put it.

Just shared via YouTube:

I would like to thank my middle finger for always sticking up for me when I needed it.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Take your days off, these jobs don’t care about you.

Going viral on Reddit:

What’s the point of having sex dreams if you always wake up just when it’s getting down to business?

Live now on Pinterest:

I literally just went through something, and now I’m going through something else. What’s next?

Spotted on Threads:

That awkward moment when everything is going so perfectly… and then you wake up.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Sometimes I can’t tell if I’m in preschool or school… Oh wait, I’m at work.

Therapy is life letting you speak to the manager.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When your inner boss finally approves your emotional complaints 😂🗣️💼

counseling, health, humor, letting, life, manager, mental, mental health, relief, self-care, speak, stress, stress relief, therapy

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Roses are red. Bumble bees buzz. This rhyme doesn’t rhyme. No, wait, yes it does.

0

2 months ago

bee, bumble, buzz, humor, poetry, red, rhyme, rose, roses, roses are red, twist, wait, wordplay, yes
Defeating imposter syndrome by actually being incompetent.

0

2 months ago

being, defeat, humor, imposter, imposter syndrome, incompetence, irony, self-awareness, syndrome
Go ahead. Order anything you want. Money is no object when we dine at IKEA.

0

2 months ago

dine, dining, humor, IKEA, joke, money, object, order, restaurant, want
Silence is my favourite form of communication in the morning.

0

3 months ago

communication, favourite, form, humor, introvert, morning, silence
If you collect the crumbs from one Nature Valley granola bar, you can make three more granola bars.

0

2 months ago

bar, crumbs, DIY, food, granola, humor, nature, Nature Valley, resourcefulness, snack, three, valley
Despite removing all the stains, I still lost my job as a church window cleaner.

0

2 months ago

church, cleaner, cleaning, humor, i, job, job loss, loss, lost, removal, stain, stain removal, stains, still, window, window cleaner

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

76 shares on Discord this month:

Carrots are a great thing to eat when you’re hungry, and want to stay that way.

18 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m sorry you had a bad experience at our restaurant. To make it up to you, here is a coupon for more of our terrible, terrible food.

45 shares on Reddit this month:

I hate when kids scream in public. You don’t have real problems. It should be me screaming.

100 shares on YouTube this month:

Welcome to Netflix. We have everything but what you want to watch.

55 shares on Telegram this month:

Nothing flies faster than the ketchup out of the bottle when you only want a little.

75 shares on Threads this month:

I’m not always a couch potato. For instance, right now I’m a chair potato, and later I’ll be a bed potato.

64 shares on WeChat this month:

Can you imagine how awkward it would be if your pet went on your phone and found the 1,000 pictures you have of them sleeping.

40 shares on Telegram this month:

Have an early flight tomorrow, so naturally I’m going to stay up late tonight and be weird in my room.

18 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Went for a walk. Very pleasant evening. The squirrels and rabbits kept running away from me. That stung a little. I will remember their faces.

74 shares on Facebook this month:

Please be delicate with me, I’m built like a Nature Valley bar.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

I hate math, but I love counting money.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

No, it’s totally fine, Grandma. Nobody else needs to use the stairs today.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

I don’t give people directions. What if no one wants them there?

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

Getting out of a sports bra looks like it should be a professional women’s sport.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Sometimes you send an email that requires a response, and the other person writes back right away, and it’s like NO NOT YET.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Screen time on your computer feels like healthy screen time, screen time on your phone feels like evil screen time.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

That one friend who has a dangerously loose grasp on food safety.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

If there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s being annoyed by stupidity.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

My wife is pretty excited about going away this weekend so I’m not sure she knows I’m coming with her.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

I wish I could throw tomatoes at comments.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on X:

If a woman says “Do what you want!”, then for God’s sake don’t do what you want!

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

The worst part about being in your 40s is the 10 years of listening to people say, “Wait till you’re 50.”

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Bank account nice and empty. Starting the new month on a clean slate.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Life is like a roll of toilet paper, the closer to the end you get, the faster it goes.

Going viral on Reddit:

I need you to put the fun in refund!

Just landed via LinkedIn:

You should get a pension for having to go to school for so many years.

Just shared via WeChat:

Bring me a higher love. You have 24 hours. No cops.

Seen just now on WeChat:

What base is it when you’re flirting with a woman, and she asks, “Are you all right”?

Live now on Pinterest:

Sometimes I feel like I’m cheating on my recliner with my loveseat, in case you were wondering how emotionally invested I am in laziness.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Car naps hit different, especially when you are the one driving.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Therapy is life letting you speak to the manager.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Roses are red. Bumble bees buzz. This rhyme doesn’t rhyme. No, wait, yes it does.

Defeating imposter syndrome by actually being incompetent.

Go ahead. Order anything you want. Money is no object when we dine at IKEA.

Silence is my favourite form of communication in the morning.

If you collect the crumbs from one Nature Valley granola bar, you can make three more granola bars.

Despite removing all the stains, I still lost my job as a church window cleaner.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨