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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

Babysitting a pair of twin babies right now and feeding them saying “here comes the airplane”. I don’t know, just feels weird.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

Thanks to social media, you can now meet weirdos from the comfort of your own home.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

I don’t need anger management, you just need to stop making me angry!

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

There’s nothing more satisfying than the little nap you have after hitting snooze on your alarm.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

Pretty annoying when someone unfollows me before I can conduct their exit interview.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

Thanks for leaving my door open; I was running low on houseflies.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Sorry, I can’t come over tonight. I’ve become too invested in these fictional characters and whether or not they will kiss.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

Save money by accidentally forgetting your wallet at home. Follow me for more financial tips and tricks.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

How about hold me as tight as you’re holding onto that grudge?

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

My friends have canceled our dinner plans two nights in a row. I’m starting to think they don’t like dinner.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

220 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,489

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,489

Jan 5, 2026

3,611

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I tried to scream into the abyss today but got a busy signal.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I hate the saying: “Get up, the sun is shining!” What am I supposed to do? Photosynthesis?

Making waves on Discord:

I’ve been on Facebook for so long, I remember when it all used to be farmland.

Just landed via Slack:

That beeping of the parking assistant when you get too close to other cars. I’d like that for people.

Just landed via Discord:

Only in America can a kid wear $150 shoes, sip a $8 coffee, and post from a $1,200 phone about being oppressed and claiming capitalism has failed them.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

My Saturday was going pretty well until I realized it was Sunday.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Parent hack: Shut your child’s bedroom door to make your house cleaner.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

People don’t have demonically glowing red eyes in photographs like they used to.

Just shared via Telegram:

Eating cookies left for Santa because the cowboy was a no show.

Making waves on YouTube:

Using ChatGPT requires you to actually be smart; otherwise, it just regurgitates your dumb takes back to you.

There is no sex. I lied. You are gonna lay here and take personality quizzes with me.

2 months ago

0

There is no sex. I lied. You are gonna lay here and take personality quizzes with me.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Well, talk about a plot twist! 🤯 Who knew personality quizzes could be the ultimate form of intimacy? 💁‍♂️ Better get ready to discover whether you're a 'Which Disney princess are you?' or a 'What kind of cheese matches your aura?' kind of person! 🧀✨"

activity, date, fun, fun activity, here, humor, i, lay, lie, me, personality, personality quiz, quiz, relationship, sex, take

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Careful, “friend”. One more word about Shakira and you might find out just how fast I can draw this blade.

0

2 months ago

careful, confrontation, danger, draw, fast, friend, humor, i, just, sarcasm, Shakira, threat, weapon, word
Welcome to adulthood: you’re not dying, it’s just Thursday.

0

2 months ago

adulthood, dying, expectations, humor, just, life, perspective, reality, struggle, Thursday, welcome
I put the ‘no’ in ‘I will let u know’.

0

2 months ago

communication, humor, i, know, let, procrastination, put, sarcasm, wit
Why is 4-8 p.m. on a Sunday the most depressing time ever?

0

3 months ago

48, boredom, depressing, depression, evening, ever, feeling, mood, most, Sunday, time, weekend, why
You don’t see guys traveling around on those seesaw-type push carts on railroad tracks anymore.

0

3 weeks ago

around, cart, guy, guys, humor, nostalgia, push, push cart, railroad, railroad track, seesaw, track, transportation, travel
Welcome to middle age, where you wake up hungover whether you’ve had a drink or not.

0

2 months ago

age, drink, humor, hungover, life, middle, middle age, reality, wake, wake up, welcome, where

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

88 shares on Discord this month:

Someone from Facebook Marketplace is coming over to either buy the chairs I have for sale, or to murder me.

98 shares on Threads this month:

Commenting “AI slop” under pictures of my friends’ kids opening presents.

89 shares on WeChat this month:

Whenever I’m willing to sell my soul, there’s usually food involved.

55 shares on Facebook this month:

The good old days, when you didn’t have to charge your watch and it didn’t constantly remind you how fat you were.

23 shares on X this month:

I think one quality that makes me incredibly attractive is that I keep my mouth shut when I have nothing to say.

63 shares on WeChat this month:

It’s crazy how drinking poison makes you feel like shit the next day.

27 shares on Messenger this month:

Every time your mom tells you that she wants the best for you, she is talking about me.

45 shares on Telegram this month:

The hardest thing about chess is the other guy is always doing some shit.

41 shares on Facebook this month:

This whole week could have been an email.

75 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sorry, I’m late. I got caught up at home being happy.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I love single sign-on because you only have to sign on once, 8 times a day.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

My thighs are bigger than my chances in life.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I fractured my laziness and dislocated my interest.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Coffee should just be free for anybody over 30.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Bored as hell. Anyone want to emotionally manipulate each other?

10 folks are currently checking 👀

If insomnia were a sport, I’d have endorsement deals.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

This site could use some more people who like to argue about literally anything.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Once I see a vein on your forehead while we arguing, I’ll let you be.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

The problem with self-checkout is that all the cashiers are idiots.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Why didn’t Scooby Doo smell that the ghosts were human?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

220 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,489

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,489

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,282

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

As everyone was arguing about politics, no one saw me leave with the cake.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

Petition to make check-in at hotels 11am and check-out 3pm, not the other way around. Like, WTF?

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Taylor Swift should write a song about people who don’t return their shopping carts to the corrals.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

Desperately seeking my soul, mate.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

Told my boss I was going to the bathroom but didn’t say which one. Now I’m at home.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

If I like cleaning? Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

The zero likes won’t stop me from posting. I will talk to myself if I have to.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

One of the kids said, “Camping looks fun,” so tonight we’re watching The Revenant.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

Sometimes, I feel like my brain is still running on Windows 95.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

The umbrella was going to be called brella, but the inventor hesitated.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

Heyyyyyy (with the worst of intentions).

Making waves on Threads:

I’m never single for too long, you gotta catch me while you can.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Having a blocked nose really makes you appreciate the finer things in life, like breathing normally.

Breaking via Messenger:

Are you my pinky toe, because I will bang you on all my furniture.

Spotted on Reddit:

My wife rearranged the kitchen cabinets, and now I’ll never eat again.

Spotted on Reddit:

(pausing the TV and turning to my kids) Now I want to talk to you guys for a second about what Bart just told that man to do.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Is 27 a good age to leave everything you know and love, and start over?

Shared recently on Instagram:

I changed my alarm clock sound to an applause, it’s the least I deserve for waking up at 7am.

Making waves on Threads:

One of the voices in my head brought up an excellent point, so obviously he had to go.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Microdosing hell by checking the web every day.

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