There’s a word in modern Hungarian slang, egérmozi, which describes watching films (or shows) on your phone. It means “mouse cinema”.

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If you like pointing out beautiful scenery to three people who are on their phones, a family road trip is for you.

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God knew I would be too powerful if I had conversation skills.

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My dream DUI is driving a Saab through the Great British Bake Off tent.

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Can hardly wait until my winter fat turns into spring rolls.

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Whoever said money can’t buy happiness simply didn’t know where to go shopping.

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The closer you are to nature, the further you are from idiots.

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If you ever think English is not a weird language just remember that read and lead rhyme and read and lead rhyme. But read and lead don’t rhyme, and neither do read and lead.

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Employees should have to take their boss’s last name.

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Don’t let anyone treat you like pond water. You are Fiji water, okay?

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I took some free community martial arts lessons for self-defense, but I’m starting to think Tai Chi is too slow for most muggers.